Sunday, February 1, 2009
HollyWood if she Could
Hollywood, what are we going to do with you? Are you truly that desperate for fresh and new ideas that you have to rehash some truly spectacular flicks?
I love Will Smith but come on!! Redoing the Karate Kid?
The Thing? Come ON!! Kurt Russell knocked that movie outta the park!
What is next? Gone with the Wind but set in the Gulf War?
A completely animated Casablanca?
I know, The Maltese Falcon but with KIDS!!
It’s a Wonderful Life but at Valentine’s Day.
North by Northwest with Vin Diesel as a homicidal lawyer with a debt to pay.
Some things should not be touched. They stand the test of time and are still just superb movies. Leave them alone!
Hollywood you get millions and millions of scripts a day, thousand of out of work writers and actors just dying for their big break. Start buying up these scripts for pennies on the dollar and having some script doctors smushing them together. You could get some excellent stuff.
OK here’s one to whet your appetite
Ya listening? I have your next big blockbuster with minimal budget. The idea is worth millions and it’ll only cost you 3 things
1. $125,000 up front and $125,000 on the back end. For that, I will sign over all rights.
2. A SUV and a sedan. Something in the 2007/08 year is fine. Saturn’s are ok but you can show your love and appreciation with a Lincoln.
3. A bit part in the flick. No talking necessary but it would be nice. Need a family of 4 for background noise? I gotcha covered.
Take Harold and Kumar go to white castle
Add to it Get Shorty
With just a dash of Jay and Silent Bob strike back
and sprinkles of….. Not gonna tell
Sound interesting? Want to know more?
Get your own ideas. Mine cost cold hard cash.
mentally regurgitated by ZomBee