Wednesday, November 23, 2011

True Horror

Only those people who have actually worked in retail know what a true horror black Friday really is.
It is truly a shining example of the pure stupidity of the human race.
I left retail back in 97 and since then I have gone and “tried” black friday twice.
I regretted it each time.
Back in my day it was a day where you go to bed on your holiday day off very early, usually while the sun was still shining and the smell of turkey still heavy in the air.
Then you have to get up way before the sun had even thought about raising it's heavy eyes and make it's long trek across the midnight sky.
You trudge into work and braced for a day where everyone wanted everything 10 minutes before they thought they might need it.
You spend 10 to 15 hours locked in a building while relatives and friends cavorted about enjoying their extended weekend as you feed the consumer machine with your blood and sweat. little bits of your soul keep flaking off like a cheap gold inlay as you watch the human mass swarm and push and fight and mill about like cattle with cash.
Finally you make it out and fight the sea of unwashed masses to your car and then fight the sea of twisted metal boxes just trying to get out of the madhouse. Once home you crash and know that the rest of your day is spent and worthless due to your pure exhaustion.
Now days it's even worse with each store trying to out do the other by opening earlier and earlier. Idiots standing in line for hours in the cold just to get a chance to get a cheap TV.
Everyone can stand back and say it is sickening and immoral and horrible.
But only those poor unfortunate souls who have been there.
Been on the front line and see the crazy first hand know.
War is Hell but Black Friday is just madness.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Its a living.

I can honestly say that there is very little that I truly "fear" however, Parts of my anatomy did crawl up inside of me and refuse to come back out for 2 hours after watching this. For a good VR view make sure to watch it full screen and close to your face.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Ive been here before?

You ever catch yourself doing something and You have no idea where the habit came from. For instance I noticed the other day that I drink with my pinkie extended. Obviously I've never been to an etiquette class doubt I've ever even been in the same sulfide as one. Wasn't raised to do so yet there it was. Never been a conscious thought of hey let's see how big of a pris I can far as I can tell I've always done it so where did it come from? Maybe.... just maybe

Monday, November 7, 2011


I was lounging around on my sofa on Saturday night flipping my attention between the laptop and the TV (it was my turn to be on call for work). It was mmm about 11pmish
I heard a low rumble…. thought hmm big truck
I heard a louder grumble and …thought hmm is the clothes washer unbalanced?
  Then the sofa began to wobble back and forth like someone was one the end of it shaking it violently the windows started to rattle and the rumble was loud, deep and quite insistent.
So naturally I thought what anyone would have in that situation
I leapt up off the demon-couch and ran smack dab into a wall of discomfort.
You know when you walk from a cold room into a really hot room or when you walk outside in the summer when it’s a 102? That oppressive feeling you get as if the heat is physically pushing on you?
Yeah it was a lot like that but without the heat.
And then as quick as that, it was gone.
WoW That was cool!
It was a 5.6 earthquake deep in the heart of the Midwest!
The last earthquake I had experienced was when I lived in California back in the late 70’s when I was but a boy and …yeah I cant recall anything about it.
The Boy came darting out of his room his eyes as big as saucers! “I was laying in bed and the whole bed started to shake and I had my foot on the wall so I thought I was doing it so I moved myfootbutthebedkeptgoing!”
I just ruffled his head good naturedly and laughed said “aw son twernt nuthin but a poultrygeist”
His eyes got even bigger…
“Nah just kidding it was just an earthquake”
His eyes have now taken over his entire face and his bottom jaw just bounced off of the floor.
The fury of nature has always been his fear factor point.
I forget that sometimes.
So I laugh off the whole thing and reassure him that all is well and good in our kingdom.
Then we both go into the bedroom to check on mom.
The wife is laying in the bed under the covers and even from the doorway I can tell she is as stiff as a board.
Have you ever seen a horse that is spooked? Like a huge thunderclap sounds and the horse just completely freaks out. It hasn’t completely lost its shit but it is just about there and the eyes roll… yeah kinda like that.
She said it felt like someone was under the bed punching on it
It was grand experience.
I just cant believe how many people actually called 911 though.
What are the police going to do? Arrest the earth's crust?
What can the fire department do?  Glue some knick-knacks back together? I guess that would be a job more appropriate to the EMS though.
If no one is bleeding or injured why call 911?
Silly stupid cattle people.