Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Character Development

I am 6foot 320 pounds of pure Mississippi Blues man. My name is Blind Papa Lime and I was born a poor black boy without the sight that the good lord gave a duck. But I aint bitter, Oh Lord no! For what the good lord almighty didn't give me he done gave me back extras in spades.
Ya see. My eyes might be as useless as handles on a pillow but my ears and nose are better than any blue tick hound dog this side of the Appalachia.
I cans hear a woodchuck fart on a windy and tell you what he had for lunch, just as long as he's downwind of course. HEEJA! HAWR-HAW!
Now I was down paying this gig in this ol stinkdive in New Orleans. Werent mucha place to talk about, really. Just the smell of cold beer, warm piss and well lets just say very excitable ladies. HAWR-HAW!
I was kicking back laying out some smooth tunes on my old sax-E-phone when I smelt the distinct odor of death. Now in my 67 years of being on Gods green earth I have smelled death many o time. Fresh dead from a bad brawl or old death from a junkie forgotten in a back alley. Aint never smelled good no matter what. This wont now normal death son. This hear was a sick death. From the sound of the shuffle I figure there was a somethin comin around that I rightly didn't wanna have nuthin to do with.
By the time I finished my note and started to say my hasty goodbyes I heard the voices of confusion and panic commin from the front of this dive. I heard the snarls and whimpers of evil and death and the smell of fresh blood. I gots to tell ya, I was SCARED! Then it got all quiet like and I heard the shuffle-shuffle man again and we was close. I could smell the evil dead comin outta him like a scared skunk. He was makin some sort of gurgling, chompin, noise that sounded more animal then man.
Well I hated to do it, cause I do love my music makers so, but I swung my sax-e-phone like I was Willy Mays heading for a homer! I felt it connect good and solid I did. Didn't feel right neither. More squish then bounce if ya get my meaning.
I figured if one was gonna slow him down the 2 outta stop him. This time I came down like I was a choppin wood for the winter and I heard that boys body hit the floor with an almighty squish and thud.
So here I be still dressed to the nines using my God given talents to help those that need helpin till the good Lord feels fit to call me home.

Monday, April 26, 2010

List of the Day - CLOWNING Around

Birthday Gift Idea Of The Day: Evil Clown

Oh yeah, your kids will love this. From Metro (UK).

Evil Clown Dominic Deville hired for stalking, threats and a pie in the face

Dominic Deville stalks young victims for a week, sending chilling texts, making prank phone calls and setting traps in letterboxes.

He posts notes warning children they are being watched, telling them they will be attacked.

But Deville is not an escaped lunatic or some demonic monster. He is a birthday treat, hired by mum and dad, and the ‘attack’ involves being splatted in the face with a cake.

‘The child feels more and more that it is being pursued,’ said Deville. ‘The clown’s one and only aim is to smash a cake into the face of his victim, when they least expect it, during the course of seven days.’

If the boy or girl manages to avoid the ‘hit’, they are given the cake as a birthday present. Well, that’s alright then.

The frightening fun can be stopped at any time, which is handy for parents who have second thoughts and don’t fancy the cost of child therapy.

Deville said: ‘The clown will never break into a residence or show up at work. It’s all in fun and if, at any point, the kids get scared or their parents are concerned, we stop right there. But most kids absolutely love being scared senseless.’

Deville set up his Evil Clown service in Lucerne, Switzerland, after being inspired by some of his favourite horror films – possibly including Stephen King’s It and Killer Klowns From Outer Space.

The idea is unlikely to be popular with sufferers of coulrophobia – the irrational (?) fear of clowns. But Stephen Vaughan of Clowns International says scary clowns could be as funny as their red-nosed counterparts.

‘I think what Dominic is doing is a great idea,’ he added. ‘Bringing a little bit of life and laughter into kids’ lives is what we are all about.’

Friday, April 23, 2010

Tenth Doctor: The Musical

The Daily Show Blurb

South Park Death Threats
The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party

This is worth the 10 minutes.
I LOVE it when the rights words are said and said in the right way and funny enough to be entertaining as well.
YES all ye who threaten death in the name of religion and/or politics
verily I say unto thee.
Goest forth and F*ck thyself.
heartily, repeatedly and frequently.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Jack of all trades / Master of none

where did I fuck up and miss the boat?
At some point during my life I missed the huge flashing sign that says
Now I have to pay for my oversight.
Dont get me wrong I “like” the job I have now but it just isn't my life's work.
I am a good employee in that I give all I can each day to my employer.
I master all trades quickly and can always find a way to do something better and faster no matter where I am.
(Yes it's my damn horn so I am gonna toot it!)
I can literally do a little of everything from Accounting to Zebra washing.
Plumbing, computers anything, interior design, logistics, hunting, fishing,writing, espionage, strategy are all bits and pieces of my repertoire.
I hate them all.
I have the knack, ability or curse whichever you want to call it of grabbing hold of an idea or a subject and latching on to it. I grab it by the throat, dive right in and immerse myself in all things “IT”. I shake it, I twist it this way and that, I stretch it out and roll it up.
Then I am done.
Once I have sucked all the juice out of whatever caught my fancy it is off to something else and I never ever want to hear anything having to do with “IT” ever again.
Cause I have already done “IT”
That's one of the reasons I am where I am today. I never found that one thing that held my attention long enough to want to do it for the rest of my life.
Knowing this is rather depressing* as I know I will always work for someone else and I will never be rich or well off or have more then my nose above the debt poverty line.

*as for depression, after 7 long dark years I can finally say that I see light in the tunnel. The black has turned to gray and life seems a bit more interesting. I even have enough energy to actually do more then just sleep on the weekends. Yay me!!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Mississippi Proming

Now I am sure you have all already heard about this injustice done to this poor girl in Mississippi but let me recap this for you.
Gay Girl.
Girl wants to go to her prom.
Girl wants to bring a date.
People freak.
School cancels prom.
ACLU sues school.
Court says "Hold the damn Prom"

Now this...

Lesbian panic victim invited to Potemkin Prom?

Remember Constance McMillen, the teenage lesbian whose impending attendance at high school prom led school administrators to cancel it for everyone? The ACLU sued them and won, but it looks like the locals in Itawamba County, Miss., had a plan to end-run the ruling. They organized a private prom and invited her, but it turned out to be a fake: only a handful of students were in attendance. The real prom, to which everyone else was secretly invited, was arranged and held elsewhere Neal Broverman of The Advocate quotes her: "They had two proms and I was only invited to one of them. The one that I went to had seven people there."

OK so they hold a fucking fake prom for this girl?!
That is wrongness on many different levels.
That is not fair, that is cruel.
This sounds like a bad John Hughes movie
"16 Candles"+ "Footloose" - "Soul Man" / "Mississippi Burning"

High School is hard enough. Being part of a minority is hard enough.
To do something this low brown and deceitful is shameful.
Sure you could just shrug and say "well that's Mississippi."
And then the music goes WAH-WA-WA
And everyone laughs and we cut to commercial.

But this is the really real world and there are no second takes. Just deep wounds that never fully heal.
What takes me the most aback is "the kids" couldn't have pulled this off by themselves.
This was orchestrated by the parents.
Seriously? Is that what you want to teach your child?
Fuck you, you single minded simplistic bigoted fuckstain.
I sincerely wish and hope that karma wipes her ugly butt with you.

*whew*--I need a drink
1 more thing...
Who were the 7 other people there?
2 goths, an emo, the science nerd and the ugly girl who smells in gym?
Do you think that the quarterback and prom queen runner ups were there?
The beautiful people?
Where do you draw the line?

Friday, April 16, 2010

Strange days indeed

OK before I get to the odd and wondrous things I found on listverse let me start by relaying 1 experiment I did.
When I was a junior in High School I had a very best friend named MR.Smith*. MR.Smith and I were inseparable, almost married. We thought alike, we acted alike we even finished each others sentences. I knew we went to bed around the same time (1030ish) and he lived on one side of town and I on the other. One Sunday night I thought I would try an experiment so I lay down and got comfy.
I cleared my mind of all the clutter and debris from the day and thought of a color. Not basic color but a specific color. I am pretty sure I started with Orange.
I thought long and hard at orange and interspersed the color with a picture of Mr.Smiths face.
I did this for 30 minutes exactley.
damn I have no idea how to spell ezactley tonight. Screw you spellcheck! This is my blog!
anyway the next morning the very 1st time I saw MR.Smith the first words out of my mouth were "What Color?"
He looked at me rather nonplussed.
"What Color?" I repeated. No hints. No clues. Not even wearing the color (easy as all my clothes were black and various shades of black anyway)
Finally he shrugged and asked "orange?'
"Interesting." I replied and dropped the subject.
I would not speak of it at all.
I did this each night and each morning for a week. each time a new color and each morning he nailed it. Well each one except for Thursday morning.
Finally Friday after school I explained to him what I was doing and how it was remarkable he got 4 out of 5 correct.
"Oh that's easy enough to explain" he added "Wednesday night I was up until 1 in the morning."
Ok thats my story so check these out.

Dubbed the Rain Boy in 1983, Donnie Decker was visiting his friend’s house when he abruptly went into a trance-like state. Immediately after, the ceiling began to drip water and a mist filled the room. His friends immediately called on the landlord who was alarmed by what he was seeing. Some time later, Donnie was at a restaurant with other companions when rain started pouring down their heads. The restaurant owner immediately forced him out. Years later, due to a petty crime, Donnie was put into jail where he caused chaos when rain started to pour down in his cell. After angry inmates complained, Donnie explained that he could make it rain when he wanted to, and proved his point by dumping rain on the jailor on duty. Eventually, he was released from jail and found a job as a cook at a local restaurant. His present whereabouts is unknown – as is the cause of the mysterious rain.

The townspeople of Oakville, Washington, were in for a surprise on August 7, 1994. Instead of their usual downpour of rain, the inhabitants of the small town witnessed countless gelatinous blobs falling from the sky. Once the globs fell, almost everyone in Oakville started to develop severe, flu-like symptoms that lasted anywhere from 7 weeks to 3 months. Finally, after exposure to the goo caused his mother to fall ill, one resident sent a sample of the blobs for testing. What the technicians discovered was shocking – the globs contained human white blood cells. The substance was then brought to the State Department of Health of Washington for further analysis. With another startling reveal, they discovered that the gelatinous blobs had two types of bacteria, one of which is found in the human digestive system. However, no one could successfully identify the blob, and how they were connected to the mysterious sickness that plagued the town.

Is it just me or doest that stain on the wall look like a person staring at you? Yup, its one of the many faces of Belmez that the Pereira family home is used to having. For over twenty years, the faces that appear can resemble males or females. They also arrive with different expressions every time. Strangely, the faces only stop at the house for a quick visit before disappearing. Investigations have been preformed upon the house to discover what was causing the faces to spontaneously pop up. One investigation exhumed and removed a human body from under the house, but that still didn’t stop the faces from making round trips. Several hypotheses have been formed to help explain this strange reoccurring phenomenon, but overall, no conclusions have been come to.

The Hutchison Effect refers to the number of eerie phenomena that occurred when inventor John Hutchison attempted to replicate a few of inventor Nickola Tesla’s experiments. Some of the strange events witnessed include levitation, fusion of objects completely different in matter (such as wood and metal), and disappearances of some smaller objects. Even stranger is that after his experiment, Hutchison was unable to repeat the project again with the same results. This experiment was so popular it even sparked the interest of NASA and the Military, both whom have failed to produce the Hutchison Effect.

*MR.Smith is a genius incarnate. His IQ is off the charts! Even if he considers debris and debris to be two different words.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Being Dad

If you have been following along in your manuals you will know that my main goal in this life is to be a good dad. I think that my dad was really awesome. He was a bit distant in places but hey, there is no instruction manual.
So my son, the beast is 11 years old going on 12
I caught him on his laptop going around to "those sites"
You know the ones I mean.
He's getting to that age and it was only a matter of time.
I was kinda hoping for a bit later then this like 13 or 14 but it had to happen sooner or later.
We have both been rather cool about this I think.
I didn't freak out and hulk-smash his laptop into the nearest wall
and he has been honest with me when he has been going to those sites.
I told him not to go to these sites because A. these were for grown-ups and 2. They put bad virus stuff on your computer which make it crash. I also told him if there were any questions they had about what they were doing all he had to do was ask and daddy would talk to him about it.
He has listened for the most part but who can resist the siren call of the hormones and readily available naked women (He likes blondes. I am a brunette man myself and I go bizonkers over a Latin or Italian lovely.)
I don't want to be the "cool dad" who says aw go ahead no harm here.
But I also don't want him growing up in a sexual vacuum like I did.
I remember once when I was 15 I was watching scrambled HBO in my room with a burlesque show called "Minskeys Follies". It was just topless women dancing with all the feathers and such. Rather tame actually.
My mom freaked out.
Sploosh! she had puppies right then and there.
A grand argument then happened as we both ran to my dad.
Mom went to "tell" so I could be punished.
She wasn't being mean or anything it was just taboo in our house.
I went for damage control.
I must admit that my defense was inspired for the .02 seconds I had to come up with it.
I claimed that her coming in when she did was akin to someone taking a picture and catching someone with their eyes closed. I just happened to be surfing the channels (we still had knobs back then) and paused there and she just happen to come in on that pause.
My dad was smirking the whole time and felt the whole thing was rather foolish.
My dad was cool that way.
Anyway so here is my Beast digging into the best (worst?) animated porn that the net can offer for free. He is most interested in the sites that have like Fred and Wilma getting it on or the justice league gang banging wonder woman and stuff like that.
I must admit I like those sites too.
However since he cannot stop himself, I have to go out and get one of those nanny blocker programs and lock down his PC.
Not something I really wanted to spend my money on but if I don't his mom is going to freak.
Sploosh! Have puppies right then and there.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Cast of Characters

OK people out there, I want to pick apart pieces of your brain.
I am creating a gang of miscreants for a literary endeavor and I am not stuck by any means but I would like some fresh views.

A little background here:
It is normal times, maybe a bit in the future. The world as we know it is at war within every border. 2 races are using the earth as their own private battleground for their games. 1 group comes in early and infiltrates the general populace and to seize control and the other race has to subvert and conquer the first. The winner is whoever has conquered the planet after which they go on to the next inhabited planet.
The catalyst day (the starting bell) was when the whole earth turned blue for 4 minutes. Not like looking through sunglasses kind of hue but truly and actually blue.
After which humans were divided into 4 categories

1. DOA

2. Undead

3. Mutated

4. Empowered

5. Unchanged

What I want from you is to help me flesh out my characters a bit. Like I said, I can do it but I want fresh view points. 1 thing I ask is nothing typical or stereotypical. If it's been done before then I try to steer away from it. Give them powers if you like, add a name as you see fit. Knock yourselves out.
This is just a gang, I haven't developed the Big Bad yet. I would say 10 characters in all would suffice.

Comeon let's see whatcha got.

Vinnie Vidiviny : Older man with stringy, graying, greasy hair and receding hairline. Dresses like a 50's greaser with white T-shirt, blue jean, work boots and black leather jacket. His age looks to be in his lower 60's but acts like a teenager or at least tries to. With his pale skin and significant paunch he looks like an accountant trying to act tough. Vinnie is a known pedophile and practices a variety of other deviant sexual practices. He is a coward and a bully. He is only as tough as his protection allows him to be. He is kept around and tolerated by the group only for his gopher values and his lap dog like demeanor.

DoubleTap (Dub):

Keano: Samoan?

G-Had: skinny white Muslim rap wanna be kid?

Frankie and the Cat: 2 women very hot.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


For years now, to fall asleep at night, I have developed 3 movies that I watch in my head. Well maybe not whole movies, I have never seen how they end. Basically I guess you could call them scenarios.
A fantasy world all of my own.
A playground for the mind.
By doing this it keeps my brain from rolling around what I would be worrying about or whatever is burning up the gray matter at the time.

1. If I was King: This is a generally new one but it is basic in its function. I am monarch of the entire world. Oh I let the presidents and leaders rule their countries but I rule them. It's your average everyday power trip.

2. Mutant: A meteor swims through the cosmos for eons and is struck by lightning just as it enters into the earth's atmosphere. The lightning then strikes me, as I am carrying a box load of comic books out to the garage. The pages are left blank as I am endowed with all the powers of all the superheros ever. This is an action orientated one in what would I do with this new power. Fight Crime? Maybe later. Get rich quick? Yeah!

3. I am infective: This is usually when I am pretty horny and nothing to do with it (like usual). My touch makes everyone my slave to my every whim. Women fall down at my feet and beg for just a touch. Again another power trip but this one has a lot fucking in it.

I used to have 2 other ones but I had to stop using them because I found they would have adverse effects on me. For instance Zombie World would have a tendency to get the adrenal glands pumping and make me restless as the whole flight or fight thing would kick in.
The other was richest man.
Yet another power trip but this one usually would leave me down and depressed as any thoughts of money have no business in your head when you are trying to sleep. Also this one would have too much reality infused in it so it would have a tendency to bring me down and make reality force its way into my head.
I have since trained my brain that when these movies pop up on the big screen in my head my body starts to shut down knowing it's time to sleep.
I don't know what other people do to fall asleep.
Wildcat and Beast both hit the pillow and go out where PHM and I have a tendency to have to sit around and wait to fall asleep (if at all).
Might as well have some fun while you are waiting.
Best waiting room in the world and there is no co-pay.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary.

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.................

Monday, April 5, 2010

pretty good relationship

I think I have a pretty good relationship with my offspring.
They know that daddy will listen.
Daddy will let them give their side of any story.
Daddy is fair.
They also know (PHM more than Beasty) that Daddy is slightly unstable.
That daddy wasn't always the man they know.
Daddy used to be a bad, bad man.
That daddy is nice to them because he loves them and he loves them so he is nice to them.
That daddy can be a right down dirty bastard if he needs to be.
That daddy has a temper that gets away from him. (see blog point on temper)
This has worked to PHMs advantage at times, she even like to tell the story about how her daddy once stabbed a pencil into a guys leg just for messing with his coat.
(see blog point on pencil)

Well now she is 14 going on 15 and boys are in the picture.
Today I was reading her text messages, which is a chore in itself as she gets thousands of them.
I was just doing a spot check as I am within my right to do.
(she screams privacy but she knows that I pay for the phone and I am the daddy so I can look if I want.)
I ran across one boys text that said
And I quote.
"I would like a bj but you said you didn't do that."
Now I give my girl credit for saying she doesn't do that (no matter what the context is) and I give her the benefit of the doubt that she is still holding strong onto her Christian values about sex.
She knows that daddy is easy going and lets her do a lot of stuff her mother doesn't just because her mother will say no automatically, no matter what the issue is.
If it inconveniences Wildcat then it is not to be done. PHM knows she can talk to me about anything and the only stipulation I demand is to not lie to me.
Don't lie to me because when you do I don't know when I can trust you and this has worked out rather well.
Therefore this boy must die.
Ok maybe not die but I am certainly going to put the fear of Zombee into her and her friends.
That kind of talk is not ok for 14 year olds period and I don't care who you are you will not talk to my daughter like that. She is also not a piece of girlmeat to be referenced in such a manner.

Tonight I will hear her side of the story but she knows I am very mad about it and knows that this boy had better not show his face anywhere within 100 yards.
Oooh I am kinda hoping this kid tries to play tough guy!
The whole "I'm not afraid of your dad." routine.

I invented that routine.

All I will have to do is make mention to PHM that I will be "calling a visit" to this kid with her Uncle Blake (my brother from another mother.) and she will truly fear for his life.

Sometimes having a bed rep is a good thing.

Review of 'The Zombie Combat Manual' by Roger Ma - AOL News

Review of 'The Zombie Combat Manual' by Roger Ma - AOL News

The last thing you ever hear is the moaning.

By that time, they've already surrounded your home, their fingernails scratching at the walls. The moaning grows louder, like the hum of a million bees. And just as you realize what they are and your terror is almost complete, a windowpane shatters ...

I'm talking, of course, about zombies.
Zombie Combat Manual
"The Zombie Combat Manual" by Roger Ma gives practical advice for ghoul extermination, with vivid illustrations by Y.N. Heller.

Where are you right now? At your home computer? In the office? Take a look around. What is the nearest thing you could use as a weapon if the undead should come shambling through your doorway? How many could you take down with it? One? Two? Five?

What if you had to fight your way through 40 zombies? Maybe you've seen a zombie movie or two, but if you had to, could you kill one today? Bravado aside, are you absolutely positive you even know how to kill a zombie?

Fortunately, you probably haven't had to deal with the sick horror of a zombie apocalypse. Yet. But help is here with a new book by Roger Ma called "The Zombie Combat Manual: A Guide to Fighting the Living Dead." In it, Ma analyzes -- in extraordinary detail -- how to prepare physically and mentally to protect yourself in a zombie outbreak, particularly an extended one that could cover weeks or even months.

Oh sure, it may seem easy to dismiss a future zombie invasion as unlikely simply because it hasn't happened yet, but ask yourself this: How much is it worth to have the security not to feel the deathless bite of a hungry corpse crunching through your skull?
Zombie Combat Manual
© Berkley Trade Paperbacks/Penguin Group
What's the best way to kill a zombie? Author Ma says guns, kitchen cutlery, gardening tools and even Swiss halberds can do the trick, if you have the skill.

I was concerned at first that this would be little more than a rehashing of the groundbreaking work by Max Brooks, but "The Zombie Combat Manual" gains a tremendous amount of depth by narrowing its focus: Instead of discussing the roots, history and process of zombification, it assumes the eventuality of infestation so you can begin to prepare for it right away.

More important than hypothesizing over the possible cures or treatment for zombiism, it jumps into preparing for close-range undead combat. While it doesn't avoid important considerations like shelter and defensive fortifications, the meat of the book delves into the preparation aspects necessary prior to any combat: self-assessment of physical strengths and weaknesses, evaluation of fitness and point-by-point considerations of every class and type of likely weaponry that would be available to the average person in the case of an undead outbreak, from Swiss halberds to kitchen cutlery to gardening tools. Nothing is overlooked.
Zombie Combat Manual
© Berkley Trade Paperbacks/Penguin Group
The author of "The Zombie Combat Manual" has a background in emergency planning.

A valuable point is made early on: What is most effective against a zombie is not necessarily the most practical in the event of a long-term infestation. For example, guns are effective, but ammunition must be sufficient, and in the likelihood of traveling to a safe area, all of the ammunition would need to be carried -- a very real concern.

For all of the more practical weapons, careful consideration is shown to the strengths and weaknesses of each: effectiveness, life span, skill level required to be effective, availability and cost.

Ma's background in emergency planning and preparation is evident as he drills down past basic assumptions to confront the reality of fleeing a shuffling horde of flesh-hungry ghouls. The best compliment I could give the book is that several times, I found myself agreeing with some discussion before I caught myself and said, "Wait, this is about freaking zombies."

It also raises the question about how prepared we are to defend our mortality against other unseen foes that remain outside of our everyday consciousness. It's easy to forget about them, partly because they occupy a different part of our consciousness. It's always us vs. them, whereas the shuffling undead feel more like us vs. us. We retain our humanity against outside foes, and we band together when the outside force is great enough.

Still, it's that sameness that we share with the undead that makes zombie conflict most disturbing. They have two eyes, a nose and a mouth, like us. They walk upright, like us. They look human, like us. No other conflict evokes the same sense of dread, not even Bill Barker's bleak Schwa universe, where human enslavement is inevitable and where capture and probing, while not necessarily enjoyable, is as much a part of everyday life as anything else.

All I know is that I'm going to look into Swiss halberds. You just can't be too careful.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Almost made a point there...

It's really diversified what one person can put up with and another cannot.
For instance
My father HATED thieves.
I don't mind thieves as long as there is a use and reason.
Don't get me wrong, stealing is wrong but every rule has it's exceptions
Stealing to steal is stupid and juvenile but stealing to augment a poor rate of pay is understandable (in my book). Doesn't make it OK but if you have to feed your family then you will do whatever it takes.
So no I don't hate thieves per se.
Just don't steal from a person. If you feel you HAVE to steal the do it from a company/corporation, etc. they have the insurance to take care of the difference.
If you are going to do something wrong or illegal you have to go into it understanding that there is a 99% chance you will be caught and you will be punished. So don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
I am teaching my kids that stealing is indeed wrong and that something means more to you if you earn it rather than have it handed to you (or you hand it to yourself)

My mother HATES liars.
I don't mind liars either. Actually I am rather gullible in that I take everything at face value.
I usually will tell my kids that I know that they lied and they have been caught in their lie and they will be punished for being caught. There has been 1 or 2 though, that extreme measures were taken to enforce a lie and I have let that slide.
No, I certainly do not want my children lying on a regular basis but I have been known to let a good lie slide.
Oh I know that is just horrible I am failing my kids in what is right and wrong.
I don't see it that way.
Look around, the world aint "Little House on the Prairie" out there.
This world is just 2 steps below "Mad Max".
Kids today need different survival skills basics to just exist much less function in today's world.
I myself believe in 99% truth 99% of the time and that I do enforce.
Why? Mainly because it is easier to remember the truth then it is a lie.
Sometimes the truth is harder to take then a lie anyway.
The same rules applies though, you have to go into it knowing you will be found out.

However some occasions demand a lie and everyone knows this yet no one wants to acknowledge it.
"Yes. That is pretty."
"I like what you like."
"Elect me."
"You are the best!"
"I had an orgasm."
"He did not suffer."
We even lie to ourselves every day.*
"I look good", "My life is super!", "I couldn't be happier.", "I love my job."

So why not learn how to craft a well framed lie? It is a skill that you will need in your life.
I used to be a grand liar (not really something you want to brag about) until I came to a point in my life where I feel I don't have a reason to lie.
I say what I think and the rest be damned.

OK hold on... I had a point to this when I started here.
I was going somewhere with this...
The train has derailed, gone over a cliff and disappeared.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

YouTube - Democrat Hank Johnson Afraid Guam Will "Tip Over and Capsize"

YouTube - Democrat Hank Johnson Afraid Guam Will "Tip Over and Capsize"

I would pay cash money to watch Guam tip over just because Sargent Slaughter had an extra McNugget with his happy meal.
This was an elected official? THIS GUY was the best they had?
Oh wait.. that sounds too much like a presidental election.
They must have just grabbed Rubby town drunk and offered him a pint to ramble on about a lost Gilligans Island episode.

this just in.... Hawaii now in talks with Michelin Tires to use the corpse of the Michelin Man as a flotation device.

dumb ass.


I was on my lunch today enjoying a walk in the brilliant warm sunlight and a raggedy old man approached me on a bike.
His hair was long and brown and his beard was gray as steel.
His bike had an old milk crate tied to the handlebars to use as a basket.
I wasn't going to give this guy a second thought.
In fact I was thinking "hmm another one of those homeless people."

Then he slowed as he passed me and said in a chipper voice.
"Have a blessed day!"
I did not know what I was expecting, if anything at all, but that took me by surprise somehow.
"Why, you too!" I managed to get out as he pedaled past.
"Oh, I will!" he called back to me and smiled.
I went on about my walk and realized
That for that one maybe two seconds there I actually felt better.
Better about everything and everyone.
I know I have only had about an hour of sleep and I am sure a veil of grumpiness will soon overtake me.
But you know what?
Thank you bike man.
I think I will have a blessed day today.
Yes sir, I believe I will.