Friday, July 19, 2013

brace for impact

You know that old saying that “God doesn’t hit you with more than you can handle.”?
(ok I paraphrased, just go with it.)
I am under the opinion that that is a crock.
My life has been a series of beat downs, disappointments, misery and despair.
I feel guilty about complaining about all my tribulations because I know many people who have had so much worse happen to them. Daddies die in the war, families ripped apart, tornados ripping out people’s lives.
I feel bad for them I truly do but this is my life. It’s the only one I have and it should be better than this.
I try to count the good and focus on that but the bad keeps rearing its ugly face.

My life should be, the one I want:
  • leisure time with enough money to comfortably do what I wish.
(yeah who doesn’t want this)
  • The ability to spend my time with my family and focus solely on them.
(I don’t want to be worrying about this boulder over my head and albatross on my neck)
  • A nice house in a nice neighborhood.
(nothing fancy but something big enough to hold everything and be proud of)
  • Drive a car from this century
(In 3 years my Taurus can be classified as an antique)
  • Be able to send my children to the college of their choice.
(This hurts the worse)
  • To look forward to retirement.
(I’m afraid I will either be dead or eating catfood in a van down by the river.)

Instead I have exact opposites of all of those
Literally and truthfully a complete 180. (180,181 whatever it takes)

I ask myself daily where did I turn wrong.
Which deity did I piss off to get this?
And where in the world did I ever run across a gypsy to curse me.

It has gotten to the point that, and here I am not exaggerating, when an event comes down to 2 possible outcomes. One being bliss and wonderful and the other being horrible and woeful. I always start planning on how to come back from the second because the first just doesn’t ever happen.
“Oh you are such a pessimist, look on the bright side!”
What you are saying to me is, if someone is standing over you with a baseball bat and is repeatedly thunking your skull you would have the presence of mind to stop and think “well maybe this next one will feel like sunshine and daisies.”
Yeah, not me

I’m just bracing for the next blow.

Friday, July 12, 2013


I was watching the science channel and just thought this was amazing
You are made of stardust. You are a star child, born from the death of a star.

Your body is made up of all kinds of atoms, right?
Hydrogen and Oxygen and Carbon, just all kinds.
There is only one place where these atoms are created and that is within the heart of a star.

That means that millions of years ago a star died.
This motherstar exploded in a fiery supernova which spread the components for life across the galaxy. These atoms finally came to rest on earth and eventually became part of you.

Your right arm could be composed of atoms from a star that died millions of years ago and your left arm could be composed of atoms from an entirely different star. This also means that a newborn child is made up of components that are millions and millions of millions of years old.

That which is new is old again.

Friday, July 5, 2013


Putting the dispute of any theology and the existence of God aside, I have a logical question about the proximity of Heaven and Hell.

Heaven is geared up to be a glorious place of love and eternal happiness. No sadness, no weeping, just joy. Basically from what I remember you will spend all of eternity singing God’s praises and just basking in his holy presence.
Honestly that doesn’t sound too appealing to me.

In contrast, Hell is a foul place of eternal pain and torment. Just all of eternity have your soul ripped, poked and violated in all kinds of ways. No happiness to be had here just sorrow.
Yeah not too appealing either

Now, according to the bible, you can see one from the other. One can look from Heaven into the pits of Hell and visa-versa. For instance, in there is the instance of Abraham and Lazarus and the thirsty rich man, he hollers up to them to get him a drink (Luke 16:19-31).
That’s gotta suck.
But let’s say I am blowing up one small portion of the Bible and no one really knows what it is truly like.
Obviously you must keep some small portion of who you were on earth otherwise there wouldn’t be this religious push to be good and follow God’s commands and whatnot. It would be just a matter of cleaning the person part off the soul like wiping a chalk board and off you go.
So there you are in Heaven looking around and where is everyone?
Where is Grandma and Uncle Bilbo
Where is Jennifer Love Hewitt and my 2nd grade teacher?
You would then know that if they are not there then they are elsewhere.
Now how am I supposed to enjoy my eternal gift in Heaven knowing that my dear old dad is burning in a lake of fire?

Then again, if anyone actually had the answers to this question they wouldn’t need to have as much faith.