Saturday, December 30, 2017

liberals are whiners

I am so tired of hearing that old chestnut "You liberals are whiners" or basically anything that denotes a liberal or conservative delineation.

 lets say you are on a aircraft traveling to wherever and suddenly half way there both pilots are stricken dead on the spot. Along comes the stewardess and she announces to the cabin "Is anyone here a pilot?" 2 people raise their hands
One is a pilot currently and has 20 years of experience but has been suspended for multiple infractions that endangered multiple flights and even resulted in a few deaths. The other is a businessman who has over 1000 hours of frequent flier miles and owns a couple of planes but has never set foot in a cockpit.
Now which one do you want to get you home?
I have voted for a republican candidate in every election I have been able to vote in but that was just by mere happenstance. I do not vote party, I vote on the weights and the merits of the candidate. What I saw during the election was a man standing up in front of hundreds of people and literally just saying what they wanted to hear. It was as if people were shouting from the audience and he was blindly promising whatever they wanted.
"I want healthcare" Ill give you the best healthcare
"I want jobs" I will give all the jobs
"I want a pony" I have Silver from the Lone Ranger waiting backstage for you

It was ridiculous and what scared me the most was people were eating it up.
Ok so I figured voting for Trump is a stupid idea. I like the idea of a businessman as president to kind of make some changes but not him, not Trump.
So I looked at the democrat choices and oh my God no. I could not vote for Hilary and be able to look myself in the eye afterward. She is corrupt, pure and simple.She is 100% politician and that makes her full of slime and poison (in my opinion,of course)
So I threw my vote to the independents and went home.
So now here we are with almost 25% of the term over with and he is proving himself to be incompetent and a joke. It is going to take quite a few years for the nation to get back the respect we had spent the last 200+ years building up.

So stop with the liberal/conservative/democrat/republican crap and lets just call this an American problem.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Oh dont be RE-DICK-O-LOOSE

This is pretty disgusting but this is also something no one else in the world knows.
You have been warned.
SURPRISE! I do dumb stuff sometimes.
Imagine that.

I have done some inane stunts in my lifetime. From rolling cars to shitting in a public trashcan but one of the dumbest things I ever did was lick an elevator.
Yes, that is not a typo (even though I cannot begin to tell which word I could have been misspelled to mistake this particular phrase)

I worked for a big aviation firm in an office setting.
I hated my job.
It was mind-numbingly boring and there was nothing resembling any sort of training.
It was literally this is how you do this and now here is your PC and phone.

I went into work one day despondent as usual. I was in a dark funk anyway as my father had recently passed.
I climbed into the great glass and brass elevator to head up to the third floor.
Standing there hating life and everything around me I noticed the gleaming brass wall next to the elevator buttons.
On impulse I leaned over and just ran my tongue up the length of it

Yup, that’s gross. 
    That’s gross.
I am well aware of how gross that is.

I didn’t care.
To be honest it was my lil act of terroism. I had no way to get back at “the man” so I decided to slime the lift. Like I said spur of the moment. Not even really a decision I just...did it.
In my impotent rage, my only way to rage against the machine was the liberal application of my saliva.
Not proud of it. Like I said I was already in a dark hole.
In fact, didn’t even think about it again until the next morning when I woke with a sore throat.
Which kept me home as it kept getting redder and hotter
Guess who had strep throat.
A right noxious case of it as well.
Laid me out for four days.

Therefore, boys and girls, take it from me as a voice of knowledge
No matter how much you hate your current position it is always better to change your position then it is to lick public transportation.

Thats the PSA for today.


Monday, October 16, 2017

Trump is a CEO

The CEO of a company's first duty is to the company. To keep a company viable they have to trim costs and grow gains, right?
Ok to a CEO an employee is an asset only as far as their profitability to the company. Meaning when you die your loss is not mourned, as you are a disposable piece.
The burnt out cog is removed and a new one is slotted in and the engine chugs on.

I think when everyone jumped on the bandwagon to bring this "businessman" into office so he could run the countries business they forgot this aspect.
Trump is going to cut corners and ruthlessly cut corners in his bid to Make America Great Again.
This means that everyone who relies on the government for any assistance be they veterans or the elderly or the poor are going to just shit outta luck.
For instance, welfare. Sure, some people abuse it and abuse the hell outta it.
However, the 80-year-old grandmother just trying to exist is not abusing it but she is going to be in the same boat as the 20-year-old mother of five who just don't wanna work.

How about healthcare? That is a problem right there. All of these countries in the world that actually take care of their citizens and yet we...just can't.
Just grabbing one at random, look at Norway?
No one thinks about Norway. I forgot that it existed until just now.
In Norway, healthcare is free for residents (well, except for the $21 visit fee but once you hit the annual cap of $1817 including medications everything is free)
How awesome would it be if America, one of the strongest and richest countries in the world could do something like that?
My wife is going in for a lifesaving surgery in two weeks and even after our "insurance", it is going to cost me $1500.00 UP FRONT and that is on top of the $1000 I have already paid.
This isn't even counting recuperation, the hospital stay or the 6 weeks out of work.
It is a damn broken system.

America is NOT a business it is a living, breathing entity and running it like a business is going to do more harm than good.
I don't have any of the answers; I am not paid to have the answers.
I use my vote to vote in the person that might have at least a couple of the answers in the hopes it can be made a little better.
I know it will not get better in my lifetime. That we are travelling a dark, dark road right now and there is no light at the tunnel.
My only hope is that by the time my kids are my age that they will be able to see a glimmer of light.

The image of this ZomBee can be purchased in T-shirt form from Fat Owl Tees at

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Inside of everyone

Inside of everyone, there is a container
 Inside of the container, all the horribleness of the world pours into for internal storage. Everything from man's inhumanity to man-to-man's mistreatment of nature to the latest string of murders or rapes or beatings or molestations or just the overall cruelty of humanity all pours into that vat. Just the daily incalculable badness of the world that no one can escape from. Picture a swimming pool full of a black oily tar. Rolling and bubbling with a large sewer like pipeline over it continually pouring this sludge in. Sometimes it dribbles in and sometimes it is as if all the toilets in Manhattan were flushed at the same time and the sludge fore jets in.

Some people have huge oil tanker sized vats that absorbs everything they can get their beady little minds on. It doesn't matter how much they get there is always room for more.
Some people have teacup-sized containers that even the smallest infraction fills the cup to over flowing threatening to the point of bursting.
And every size in between
The container does have a finite amount it can hold and the older you get less you can contain. I don't think your container shrinks in size I think the residue never subsides. There is always layer left over no matter how much you burn off and the older you get the more layers you have.

I know lately my container has been full to slopping over the sides. For instance there was a movie on last night called Chappie, it has Hugh Jackman and Dev Patel in it and is about a robot that gains sentience. In the movie, there are scenes where the newly born robot is being mistreated by various humans it encounters and I almost shut off the movie. It's not even that great of a movie but I just could not stomach watching these actors beat up a robot.
I guess I need to find a way to burn off all this excess sludge in my vat. Maybe a binge/purge on some Disney fluff or a day spent with puppies will help me expunge some of my waste.

Maybe I will just turn the TV off for a few days as it does seem to be continually broadcasting the sludge I am trying to avoid.
Anyway, I will talk ya later. I gotta go find some puppies.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

More Political stuff to ignore

 Well I have now watched my very first presidential address. In my 47 years on this planet I had never done that before. Well not that I can recall at least. I grew up avoiding the local news and the national news in all of its formats like the plague.
Completely 100% non informed.
Why? It bored me. simple as that. I found it utterly boring. The talking heads are just telling me a bunch of horrible and depressing shit that doesn't affect me in any way.
except the weather but cant do anything about that either.
They sit on the TV and tell me about this person killing that person or this guy was caught doing something bad or blah,blah,blah.
Dont even care about sports either (shocking I know) I thought games weren't meant to be played so Ive never seen the draw of watching people running around just playing. If I wanted to see that Id go to the playground. at least there you might get to see a pirate and transformer get in a fight with Spiderman or something equally epic.
anyway I digress.
Politics have always be a non-starter for me.
Bunch millionaires arguing with each other for their own benefit. They dont care about you. They dont care about the law or the planet or America or anything really. All hey want to do is line their pockets with as much cash as possible and try to keep the options open to do it again next year.
Thats it.
 So I watched President Trump and before you misunderstand, yes he is my president. I didnt vote for him but he has the office now. So being so squeaky new to this whole thing I do have questions.
like, ok all I heard was a buncha back patting and "this is what I intend to do" no plans though just a buncha words saying what people want to hear. Do people honestly believe he is laying out his plans for the next 4 years?
 Dont they realize he is just placating them?
I guess I just dont trust him more then the millions that voted for him.
I know there will be a moment in the next 4 years where I will be given the opportunity to stand up and shout I TOLD YOU SO but I dont want it.
I just want all this political crap to go away and turn the channel to cartoons.
Maybe the Thundercats are still on.

The image of this ZomBee can be purchased in T-shirt form from Fat Owl Tees at

Monday, February 13, 2017

Goin out for the night?

PSA for the newly or soon to be newly 21 crowd.
Never drink yourself to the edge of oblivion in public. Know yourself and your limits and don't discover them when you out having a grand old time. That is when horrible things happen to good people.
If you are out and start to see the cliff of oblivion coming up fast and your car ain't slowing down, at that time its too late to start developing an evacuation plan. Getting in your car to go home now would be the equivalent of throwing the car in reverse, doing a 180 and slamming on the accelerator.
A supremely dumb idea.
Drinking water and eating some starch would be a good way to toss an anchor out the door of the car. A really desperate maneuver is to drink a large glass of milk. Hopefully it will curdle and cause you to create a glorious technicolor yawn. Once you are done shouting at your shoes, you will have removed all of the alcohols backup forces and can work on just processing the ones who have already infiltrated your defenses.

Be smart in advance so you can still take measures after your brain has packed it's bag, put on his fedora and walked out in disgust.

Friday, February 10, 2017

i cooda been a contedah

This is a memory I have that I want to get downloaded from the brain archives before the whole building burns like the library at alexandria.

When I was in High School, I knew I was bright, I never studied for a test and hardly ever paid attention in class. Why? If it didnt interest me I didnt care. Without any trying at all on my half I was a solid C student. The one moment though that actually cause me to pause and realize I wasnt just bright, I was damn smart, was in my junior year. There was an announcement that there were still opening for the ASVAB test that morning and to just come on down. I wasnt sure what an ASVAB was (armed service vocational aptitube battery tests) but i figured that I could go do this instead of going to my first three hours, well it would be a welcome diversion.

So I went to the unchroom and took a eat and at the right time I started filling in my dots.
Yeah it took a full 3 hours to complete but it keept me occupied and it made my boring day a little different.

When they got the results back the recruiter sat me down at one of those long lunch benches and he placed a 3 ring binder in frnt of me. It was a hefty sized packet and leafing through it I remember seeing all kinds job descriptions listed.
"This is the binder we normally use for all of our average applicants.  It covers all of the jobs avaiable from A to Z. You qualify for every job in that folder."
He then pulled out 3 smaller folders and stacked them on top. "With your scores you all qualify for every job in these folders." He reached into his greifcase and pulled out four more folders and stacked them as well " you also qualify for all of these." "In fact," he ruminated "You qualify for every job I can offer you except one. pilot, cause of your glasses. but other then that you can choose your own path"

He had never seen scores that high before and in fact only one person in Kansas scored higher then me and she just happened to be a friend of mine.

I polietly thanked him for his time and went off to do my day. but it was then I realized I didnt think like other people and I really was smaert. I should have taken him up on his offer but that wasnt my cup of tea at the time. I have since realized through testing that I have about a 140 IQ. Or at least haf. I did so little with it that it rusted and seuzed up.

Monday, February 6, 2017

The devil dont want you

I recently read a post on the Facebook, one of those conspiracy people who finds all kinds of evils in the electronic beams coming from the TV and trail let by airplanes. real tinfoil hat kinda stuff.
Anyway they were proclaiming that experiments like the Haldron collider were instigated by Satan himself. Presumably to allow him to lay claim to the planet. 

          Now that dont make much sense, do it? 
  Why would the prince of darkness spend literally centuries corrupting and cultivating this planet until he had the majority of the populace right in the sweet spot, right where he is gaining all the pluses and very few minuses only to have us show up uninvited in his front parlor?
   He doesnt want to wake up one morning wondering what all the ruckuss is about only to find us stomping around his foyer, tromping on his nice oriental rugs , mucking up the place when we are supposed to off in our own neck of the woods do all the sinning and shaking our bums at God. He doesnt get any power if we just go straight to the source. Old Scratch doesnt want to see the end of the world or the ruination of mankind. He wants us right on the cusp continually teetering back and forth. Lucy needs us to keep him in power and the only way he can do that is to keep us sinning.
    I would say it is more to the point that he is behind the cure for AIDS and is working hard to get that whole Cancer thing under our thumb as well.Cancer and all the like. He is also behind taking down the cigarette companies and this whole diet and exercise for your health buggery. 
     You see, He wants us around for as long as possible. The longer we live then the longer we sin and the more we sin the longer he gets to reign.
So I guess the solution would be to live hard, die fast and leave a beautiful corpse.
Yeah thatll show him.


Tuesday, January 10, 2017

That movie that one time

There was a movie I vaguely recall seeing. Bare with me here while I try to pry some of the facts outta the dusgusting murk in the corners of my mind warehouse.
There was a guy who was really well offbut a louse, kinda like Sandler in Billy Madison. Something happened with his PA and the company and he now has to take control over the family business that he knows nothing about.
Of course he hires his 2 best friends, his cronies who are the archtype dimbulbs. All they ever did before was follow him around and drink his beer and to provide the moral support he needed for his hair brained schemes.
Soon he realizes that the time is running low to when he needs to be at his dads office to start his new job so he starts grabbing people he knows left and right and sticking them in a job that sounds good
Thelma May Goodpasture teaches the 4th grade so she should make a good executive and Earl1 and Earl2 were able to get that cat outta his fan belt last winter so they can be over his companies technology. Oh and he cant forget Betsy DeVos, she is the local billionare who has always had a thing against public schools so put her kids only in private schooling. She can be his next education secretary. Yeah thatll work.

I cant even recall how this movie ended, just that there were a bunch of those tired tropes and insipid one-liners. Maybe it was a prequel to that Mike Judge filck idiocracy?
Not sure. Gonna bug me till I figure it out.