Tuesday, February 28, 2017

More Political stuff to ignore


 Well I have now watched my very first presidential address. In my 47 years on this planet I had never done that before. Well not that I can recall at least. I grew up avoiding the local news and the national news in all of its formats like the plague.
Completely 100% non informed.
Why? It bored me. simple as that. I found it utterly boring. The talking heads are just telling me a bunch of horrible and depressing shit that doesn't affect me in any way.
except the weather but cant do anything about that either.
They sit on the TV and tell me about this person killing that person or this guy was caught doing something bad or blah,blah,blah.
Dont even care about sports either (shocking I know) I thought games weren't meant to be played so Ive never seen the draw of watching people running around just playing. If I wanted to see that Id go to the playground. at least there you might get to see a pirate and transformer get in a fight with Spiderman or something equally epic.
anyway I digress.
Politics have always be a non-starter for me.
Bunch millionaires arguing with each other for their own benefit. They dont care about you. They dont care about the law or the planet or America or anything really. All hey want to do is line their pockets with as much cash as possible and try to keep the options open to do it again next year.
Thats it.
 So I watched President Trump and before you misunderstand, yes he is my president. I didnt vote for him but he has the office now. So being so squeaky new to this whole thing I do have questions.
like, ok all I heard was a buncha back patting and "this is what I intend to do" no plans though just a buncha words saying what people want to hear. Do people honestly believe he is laying out his plans for the next 4 years?
 Dont they realize he is just placating them?
I guess I just dont trust him more then the millions that voted for him.
I know there will be a moment in the next 4 years where I will be given the opportunity to stand up and shout I TOLD YOU SO but I dont want it.
I just want all this political crap to go away and turn the channel to cartoons.
Maybe the Thundercats are still on.







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Monday, February 13, 2017

Goin out for the night?



PSA for the newly or soon to be newly 21 crowd.
Never drink yourself to the edge of oblivion in public. Know yourself and your limits and don't discover them when you out having a grand old time. That is when horrible things happen to good people.
If you are out and start to see the cliff of oblivion coming up fast and your car ain't slowing down, at that time its too late to start developing an evacuation plan. Getting in your car to go home now would be the equivalent of throwing the car in reverse, doing a 180 and slamming on the accelerator.
A supremely dumb idea.
Drinking water and eating some starch would be a good way to toss an anchor out the door of the car. A really desperate maneuver is to drink a large glass of milk. Hopefully it will curdle and cause you to create a glorious technicolor yawn. Once you are done shouting at your shoes, you will have removed all of the alcohols backup forces and can work on just processing the ones who have already infiltrated your defenses.


Be smart in advance so you can still take measures after your brain has packed it's bag, put on his fedora and walked out in disgust.




Friday, February 10, 2017

i cooda been a contedah


This is a memory I have that I want to get downloaded from the brain archives before the whole building burns like the library at alexandria.

When I was in High School, I knew I was bright, I never studied for a test and hardly ever paid attention in class. Why? If it didnt interest me I didnt care. Without any trying at all on my half I was a solid C student. The one moment though that actually cause me to pause and realize I wasnt just bright, I was damn smart, was in my junior year. There was an announcement that there were still opening for the ASVAB test that morning and to just come on down. I wasnt sure what an ASVAB was (armed service vocational aptitube battery tests) but i figured that I could go do this instead of going to my first three hours, well it would be a welcome diversion.

So I went to the unchroom and took a eat and at the right time I started filling in my dots.
Yeah it took a full 3 hours to complete but it keept me occupied and it made my boring day a little different.

When they got the results back the recruiter sat me down at one of those long lunch benches and he placed a 3 ring binder in frnt of me. It was a hefty sized packet and leafing through it I remember seeing all kinds job descriptions listed.
"This is the binder we normally use for all of our average applicants.  It covers all of the jobs avaiable from A to Z. You qualify for every job in that folder."
He then pulled out 3 smaller folders and stacked them on top. "With your scores you all qualify for every job in these folders." He reached into his greifcase and pulled out four more folders and stacked them as well " you also qualify for all of these." "In fact," he ruminated "You qualify for every job I can offer you except one. pilot, cause of your glasses. but other then that you can choose your own path"

He had never seen scores that high before and in fact only one person in Kansas scored higher then me and she just happened to be a friend of mine.

I polietly thanked him for his time and went off to do my day. but it was then I realized I didnt think like other people and I really was smaert. I should have taken him up on his offer but that wasnt my cup of tea at the time. I have since realized through testing that I have about a 140 IQ. Or at least haf. I did so little with it that it rusted and seuzed up.

Monday, February 6, 2017

The devil dont want you

I recently read a post on the Facebook, one of those conspiracy people who finds all kinds of evils in the electronic beams coming from the TV and trail let by airplanes. real tinfoil hat kinda stuff.
Anyway they were proclaiming that experiments like the Haldron collider were instigated by Satan himself. Presumably to allow him to lay claim to the planet. 

          Now that dont make much sense, do it? 
  Why would the prince of darkness spend literally centuries corrupting and cultivating this planet until he had the majority of the populace right in the sweet spot, right where he is gaining all the pluses and very few minuses only to have us show up uninvited in his front parlor?
   He doesnt want to wake up one morning wondering what all the ruckuss is about only to find us stomping around his foyer, tromping on his nice oriental rugs , mucking up the place when we are supposed to off in our own neck of the woods do all the sinning and shaking our bums at God. He doesnt get any power if we just go straight to the source. Old Scratch doesnt want to see the end of the world or the ruination of mankind. He wants us right on the cusp continually teetering back and forth. Lucy needs us to keep him in power and the only way he can do that is to keep us sinning.
    I would say it is more to the point that he is behind the cure for AIDS and is working hard to get that whole Cancer thing under our thumb as well.Cancer and all the like. He is also behind taking down the cigarette companies and this whole diet and exercise for your health buggery. 
     You see, He wants us around for as long as possible. The longer we live then the longer we sin and the more we sin the longer he gets to reign.
So I guess the solution would be to live hard, die fast and leave a beautiful corpse.
Yeah thatll show him.

.


Tuesday, January 10, 2017

That movie that one time

There was a movie I vaguely recall seeing. Bare with me here while I try to pry some of the facts outta the dusgusting murk in the corners of my mind warehouse.
There was a guy who was really well offbut a louse, kinda like Sandler in Billy Madison. Something happened with his PA and the company and he now has to take control over the family business that he knows nothing about.
Of course he hires his 2 best friends, his cronies who are the archtype dimbulbs. All they ever did before was follow him around and drink his beer and to provide the moral support he needed for his hair brained schemes.
Soon he realizes that the time is running low to when he needs to be at his dads office to start his new job so he starts grabbing people he knows left and right and sticking them in a job that sounds good
Thelma May Goodpasture teaches the 4th grade so she should make a good executive and Earl1 and Earl2 were able to get that cat outta his fan belt last winter so they can be over his companies technology. Oh and he cant forget Betsy DeVos, she is the local billionare who has always had a thing against public schools so put her kids only in private schooling. She can be his next education secretary. Yeah thatll work.

I cant even recall how this movie ended, just that there were a bunch of those tired tropes and insipid one-liners. Maybe it was a prequel to that Mike Judge filck idiocracy?
Not sure. Gonna bug me till I figure it out.