Sunday, November 13, 2016

Waiting to die.









Depression is such a damnable thing.
Everything I ever found even remotely intresting is gone. Fishing, yard work, computers, writing, playing ,creating...all gone
I am spending my time just waiting to die.
I work
I watch TV and stare at insipid pictures for hours upon end
I try to sleep
Then back to step one
I cant bring myself to do chores or care about the littlest of things.
Im beaten down.
Did you see tonights episode of walking dead? Yeah I am darryl. The lion has been beaten down into a barely recognizable shell. but the lion is still in there.
Raging about all of this strife in my life inside but cant beat the rut to get out of it.
I want it to just slough off like burnt skin and be able to enough my life again
instead of just sitting
waiting to die.