Friday, February 20, 2015

dumb ideas

Have you ever hated your job so much that you grasped at anything just to not go?

I worked for this copier company once many years ago. It was a multi-million dollar company that was expanding so it had some promise at least.
I ended up hating the job but the job market in my town was so tight I was happy for a job at the time.
One of the owners was a horrible man who did not know how to empathize with other human beings. Quite literally. I don’t think it was Asperger’s or something along those lines though I think he was just an ass.
Please note that I am not exaggerating here either and I am not bashing because of sour grapes or anything of that sort.
When I first met the man he was cursing casually to a group of people. Not in a mad, boisterous “I am trying to get my point across” way but in a “I don’t know any better” kind of way.
Cursing is not usually a big deal to me really. I think it is tactless and classless to curse freely around women especially ones I do not know.
Especially female employees.
Especially female employees who have asked him to stop
Especially female employees who have asked him to stop on threat of legal action.
Yet when requested to stop by a female employee she was told “I am the owner and I will do what I want.”
If anything I am under-stating.
This guy was very self-centered and egotistical and …I am digressing.
A good example was my father died on a Wednesday and yet I had to come in on Thursday and work because they could not give me both Thursday and Friday off.
Not because of the work load or scheduling or anything like that.
He just did not want to.
Anyway, back to my point.
I went to the dentist and he said eventually my wisdom teeth might need to come out. They were not an issue or anything at that point but something I would want to think about.
Immediately I jumped at that opportunity.
I willingly had oral surgery just to have a reason to not go into work for 1 day.

But that’s not even my lowest point though.

And trust me I am not proud of any of this.
My lowest point was when I worked for an aircraft corporation.
The job itself was just so incredibly boring that one morning….. I licked the inside of the elevator.
…..Yeah, licked.
Tongue swabbed right along the metal wall in the cab right next to the buttons.
Thoroughly disgusting I know.
I am revolted just thinking about it.
Why you might ask?
Simply because of the germs that collect on services of high traffic areas like elevators.
Some scientists recently did a swabbing of the turn-styles in the subways in network and found everything from cheese bacteria just hanging out waiting to run into some milk to make some cheese to the bubonic plague. Yup the Black Death was lingering around on the turnstile just waiting for its chance to recreate the middle ages.
Oh and they also found DNA. They found human DNA and rat DNA and then DNA they could not identify.
DNA they could not identify?
I do not know what that even means.

I paid dearly for my frivolity though and after reading this article I got off easy.
The next day I had a raging case of strep throat.
Yay me.
I gave myself strep throat just to have a reason not to go to work.
I am an idiot.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Powerball dreamin

Have you seen the Powerball lottery total?
450 million dollars.
That is truly a helluva lot of money. 

I mean, wow! Almost half a billion dollars.

Just like the rest of humanity I do like to dream about what I would do with that kinda cheddar.
I would set it up so I could just live off the interest for starters. Figure 80 million would give me a living wage of around 50k a week. Especially with no bills that should be more than enough.
Id do all the normal crap too. You know, new dream house, killer cars (not really a guy who cars too deeply about driving a nice car. Just a toll to get me from point A to point B but with that kind of money why not.)
Family and friends taken care of obviously. Id give my brother in laws about 1/4th of what I would give my sister. Why? Because my sister has always been there 110% for me and mine and I cant say the same for my wife's brothers.
Id have about 10 million set up to just spend. Frivolously and stupidly.
This would be the “get it out of your system” money. Spending to get the spending out of our system.
Once the past, present and future were set and solid then I would start getting beneficial.
One thing id like to do is make a deal with a local car lot and have these golden tickets made up.
Then Id find people driving beaters.
The cars held together with bailing wire and spit and were rust colored cause they were mostly rust.
Id go to Wal-mart and places like that and look for families mostly.
Id give them a golden ticket that they could trade in for any car on the lot they wanted. All expenses paid. They could do whatever they wanted with the car, meaning keep it or sell it, whatever.

That would make me feel good.

Think id also setup a scholarship fund too. Donate to the local school library. Shoot donate to the school since our beloved Governor decide to yank 3 million from the budget.
Maybe days when I was bored go to the local grocery store and buy peoples groceries.
Yeah that would be fun.
Seeing peoples faces light up when that damn money burden is lifted from their shoulders even momentarily would be a wondrous thing.
I believe with my whole heart that having the burden of money removed from my shoulders would go a very long way to lifting my depression. Maybe not forever, no but for at the very least a year I would be all grins and giggles.

Unfortunately trying to get rich by winning the lottery is akin to trying to kill yourself by just traveling by commercial airlines. They say that you have a better chance of getting hit by lightning on your way to buy the ticket than actually winning.
Still that lightning does have to strike and I will be paying my $10 dollar idiot tax by buying a ticket.
Like my dad would say “someones gotta win”

So what would you do to be beneficial?
What kind of unusual practice can you think of to help out your fellow man?
Give me some ideas in the comments.

Friday, February 6, 2015


I was outside at dusk changing a lightbulb in my porch-light. I had my cordless drill out to use and was standing on a step-stool. I had just finished screwing in the Phillips screw and was changing bits to switch to standard when I dropped the bit. I felt it hit my foot and then heard it hit some dried leaves on the ground to my right.
Well I've got an idea where it dropped so I finished what I was doing then jumped off the porch and went looking for it.
Nope no luck. I went up the 2 steps back into the house. Got a flashlight and went back down the 2 steps and went looking for it. Still nothing. Which is odd because I heard it hit leaves and these are the only ones near me?
Figure fine ill just look tomorrow when there is more light. Went to go back in the house and there on the top step. Right in the middle of the step, where I had just been twice. Laying perfectly lateral to the edge, like it had been placed there was the bit.