Friday, May 31, 2013


ANCHORAGE, Alaska -- A 24-year-old man charged with killing an elderly couple and raping their 2-year-old great-grandchild had been released early from prison just hours before the attacks, state officials said on Tuesday.

I…I don’t know what to say.
My morning was going just fine until I rolled across this…this evil.
There is no other way to describe this, then evil.
“I’m sick, I’m a product of society, I should be pitied and locked up away from society.”
You should be made to suffer.
You should be cast into a dungeon full of all kinds of medieval tortures.
Your sentence should not be one of
3 square meals a day
Free medical care
Free online learning, weight room, cable and other amenities as well as hanging with your homies 24/7.

Why should you even bother to try to make it in world’s society when you are more accustomed to the prison society anyway?

Prison should be the opposite.
Prison should be the very worst experience anyone could ever have.*

A horrible smelly, dank, drag, cold and wet dungeon where, at any moment of the day, you could be inflicted with the utmost pain and anguish.
Where your psyche is twisted and bent in all kinds of Mengele like experiments.

“Oh but that is awful! That brings us down to their level and then they win.” The altruistic bleeding hearts cry
“it inhumane!” they wail

“Yup” I would retort “It IS inhumane but that is ok because this is a sack of poo and you do not have to be humane to sacks of poo. It may bring us down to a more base level but it would help to serve as a deterrent to others. “

“Ok so they win but I know there will be one less club member at the award ceremony”

*now I am not saying everyone currently in prison is evil and should be destroyed. No not at all. This would be reserved for the evil beasts that are caught red handed like this guy and your Dahlmers, your BTKs and your Casey Anthonys. How do you determine who goes to this prison and who just goes to jail? Send them to me and I will make the decision.

Friday, May 24, 2013

The Giving Tree

When i was  a young lad I read this once and only once and the whole story instantly fused into my brain.
 I was to young to know what an allegory was or what symbolism meant but I knew that it made me think of my parents love for me and how much I meant to them. It made me quite sad because at that moment I knew that time passed, life ended but a parents love was forever.
Came down pretty heavy for a kid who considered each Christmas was a lifetime away and that the Muppets were the epitome of night time television.

Friday, May 17, 2013


Im not planning on going anywhere anytime soon but when I do I think I would like to have this read on my behalf.

I would like to thank you all for coming out today, I am sure my family really appreciates your presence. I, for one, do not care if you are here.
I do not mean to sound rude about this but if you have not figured it out yet, well then let me break the news to you now, I have passed on.
To paraphrase Monty Python:
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
This is an EX-David.”

Wait… you did check right?
I had insomnia my whole life so maybe all those missed hours have finally shown up and I am just sleeping? No? Well, crap.

While I lived I made many, many mistakes. I willing go so far as to say more than my share of mistakes. As Billy Joel says “you are only human, you are supposed to make mistakes.” Well I guess I took that to heart.
However, I did 2 things incredibly correct.
My daughter and my son. I guess you could say it is actually 3 things, as I would not have them if I had not married their lovely mother. Without them I would have been less than nothing, it was for them I gave everything.
If it was not for them I am pretty sure I would have spent the majority of my life living under a bridge, making friends with random inanimate objects, arguing with various pigeons and generally scaring the populace. My children mean the absolute world to me and if they can look fondly back at their old man well then that makes me happy. I just hope that I was successful in my life in letting my family know how much I loved them and how much they meant to me.

I am not going to tell you I will see you on the other side or save you a seat because I don’t know where I am right now. I am pretty sure it is nowhere very nice. If I were to hazard a guess I would say probably Nebraska.
Nobody likes Nebraska.

I learned in my life, or maybe it was from Star Trek, that when we mourn we mourn for ourselves and not for the person that passed. It is the absence of that person in our lives that makes us sad. The big hunk of meat that is in the pretty box here, that’s not me. That is just the vehicle I drove around in. When it was new off the showroom floor it was a good model. Not that pretty but reliable.
I just beat the heck outta it and really ran it to ground. Dad always said to take care of your vehicle and it will take care of you, I should have listened better but as I said before…mistakes.

Well if there is anything to this whole ghost or afterlife thing I will see what I can do to hang around and see about haunting ya’all as much as possible. So maybe I haven’t really gone anywhere really, just consider it a game of hide and go seek and I am really, really good.
Listen I could go on all day here and bring up stuff like how time doesn’t exist, really, as we just made it up here on earth and existential crap like that. I’ve got all the time in the world now but you all have lives to get back to.
I will just close here and say a few parting words.
Thank you and I love you.
Forgive me. Remember me fondly.
And I hope it is a very long time before I see any of you again.

Now if you will excuse me I am going fishing.

Friday, May 10, 2013

A glitch in the matrix

When I was in high school (back before dirt was invented) I had an interest in mental capacity and all the strange things the mind can do (I still do but I used to as well)
I had read about relaxing the body and projecting the mind so decided to try an experiment.

It was a Monday night and my bedtime and I knew that my best friend Kitch went to bed at the same time so I lay down and did a relaxing technique I had read about. I pictured my limbs breaking off and slowly tumbling into an abyss.

When my body was gone I then pictured a big movie screen and then mentally called out to my friend.
Wanting to keep it simple I pictured the screen colored a basic color
Over and over I thought of this color mentally trying to send it to my friend.
The next day at school I was walking to my locker and saw him. Before any pleasantries could be exchanged I immediately blurted out
“what color?”
He looked at me quizzically and said “what?”
“Just name a color”
You’ve probably guessed by now he said red.
“cool.” I said and walked off without telling him any what or why

Did the same thing that night.
Next day “Blue
And the next night
Next day “Black
And the next night
Next day “Pink

Finally on Friday I let him in on what was going on and that he had been more then randomly accurate.
Kitch then explained that on Wednesday night he had not gone to be till midnight so was still awake when I had tried sending.

I don’t have an ending for this because as far as I am concerned it is still a ongoing project.