Wednesday, September 30, 2009

MEN


I left this as a comment on another blog and liked it so much I thought I would share it.

(pulls out soapbox, with racing stripes and taps microphone.)
*ahem* testing 1--2--3 testing

Men are insecure little boys who don't know what they want.
The shininess of a new toy always appeals until a new shiny toy comes along.
We whine and snarl when we are in caught being the jerks we are.

I know I am not pointing out anything new here just confirming facts. Any man that says different either hasn't realized this yet or is selling something.

We may not be the best bar in town but even a dive can feel like home once you get used to the smell.

Thank you.

Good Night and don't forget to tip your waitress.



Tobybaboo


I gotta bone to pick here so bear with me.

Now I believe that praising or condemning a person’s quality by the color of their skin is equal to saying a car is excellent because of its color.
My car is white and rusted and is a POS but it is not a POS because it is white and rusted.
It is a POS because of what is inside.
Because of what runs the machine.
Same with people.

In my youth, I was discriminated against because of how I looked. Long hair, black clothes, etc. I was immediately labeled as “a thug” or “a waste.”
However all the clichés hold true.

You can’t judge a book by its cover.

I was always amazing people when they would get past the image and get to the person behind. They were always readily surprised that not only was I well read and well educated. I was also eloquent and witty to boot.

When I worked retail, a daily work break was always taken at 4. During which a number of us would congregate in the break room and watch Jeopardy. During one episode where I thoroughly ruled on the category of Shakespeare one of the store managers looked at me and said
“You don’t even look like you would know who Shakespeare is much less know that much about him.”

I always took that as a complement.
Why?
You can’t judge a book by its cover.

What this is leading up to is, I hate that the United States is bending over for all these groups who think the laws of the land need to be bent for their benefit.
2 in particular

One is those freakin Atheists who want the laws changed to remove God from everything.
I don’t care what your belief is.
If you don’t believe in God then fine, don’t. Why should it matter to you then if I do? The founding fathers that created and built this nation did and look where it got them. We are a nation that was built upon the belief in one main deity and even though we have sunk past the lowest common denominator in terms of depravity, he is still a crucial part of the makeup of our nations every step.
The majority of the people in the United States believe in one God so why are we sitting around letting a minority take this small token of affection to the lord away from us?
What are the Atheists going to do if they get their wish but then a larger voice comes along demanding that all praise be given unto the chocolate covered tiki god Tobybaboo?

What if there were protests and letters and legal arguments that the color green represents loyalty to Tobybaboo? Are the Atheists going to get that color stricken from the world?

Hey now that’s not a bad idea…
Starting a grass roots campaign that the color... I don’t know... Blue will now represent faith the lord God almighty. That, whenever you see blue, that is a little wink and nod to the creator.
If we can get this pulled off right then we can sit back and watch the atheists try to get the color blue stricken from all things.
Then, once they have railed and fought to have the color stricken from the classrooms and courthouses, we can stand up as one and point and laugh saying.
“Fooled you, you dumb fucks! It was the color green the whole time. Now sit down and shut up.”

Oh, what joy.

What?
You think that sounds like a silly and stupid idea?
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe it is just the seed of a bigger idea.









OK. I didnt get to my main point I got off on a rant.
I will get to #2 later.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

TMI...um what is today anyway?

I keep forgetting that there are different days and stuff and I just really liked the questions for TMI Tuesday.


So in case you care... TMI


1. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence.
Which one will it be?

Kanye West because you can’t fix stupid.
(OK I had to steal this answer from Nitebyrd. I couldn't top it.)

2. You seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk.
Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

I’m going to Wal-Mart and buy a present for Wildcat, PHM, and Beasty
and if there is any left over, I'll get me a DVD.

3. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth.
You can go anytime in the PAST.
What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

Hmm probably mid-70's and lend Bill Gates or Steve Jobs some money for his “projects”
or just go back to the late 1800's and deposit some money in some interest bearing accounts.
Maybe buy or lay claim some prime real estate in the Malibu area.
I am sure I could “invent” something to score some money.
Fuck the time stream.

4. What is your favorite curse word?

FUCK!
It is just so fucking versatile.
However, I do have kiddos so unless I slam my thumb with a hammer I try to keep it all on the down low.

5. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice.
We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once.
Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?

See now that’s a tough one.
The knee jerk response is always Angie Jolie.
I mean come on, she is pretty near perfect.
However, others also come to mind just for the experience.
I think Pam Anderson would be a fun ride
then there is the new car smell of Emma Watson (Don't look at me like that, she is legal.)

Bonus (as in optional): You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables.
They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice!
What's it gonna be?

OK now this is where the geek comes through.
See in the Marvel Universe the second most powerful being is Magneto as he is the master of magnetism.
However, there is a lesser-known villain known simply as “Molecule Man” who is THE most powerful character.
Think about it, complete control over all molecules.
Being that everything (and that's not a generalization) is made of molecules nothing would be beyond your grasp.
You could create a 1975 Pinto from thin air or something equally as stupid just cause you wanna.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The sun came out today.






Gosh today was a good day!



Nothing good has happened
I just feel that “I’m ok you are ok” kinda groove.


I think a lot of it has to do with
1. This morning I put on a new pain patch. The fresh influx of this strong pain medication almost always makes me feel all kinds of groovy. Even after 2 years at the same dose. The bad thing about this is when I start coming down from it (I.e. it starts to wear off; they are only good for 3 days each.) I start to feel the effects, big time. Fatigued, grouchy (not excessively but a bit), Hot and cold flashes (this is usually when I try to stretch the patch past the 3 day mark), gloomy and a certain sense on awnwi? No that’s not it… onwi? Nope. Ok fuck it.
Bored with life in general in French

Number 2 reason I feel pretty good today is yesterday I was in the crapper. I had to call in to work for the day but I did not have a choice. I was dead on my feet (ironic being that my name is Zombee) and I could not leave the bathroom with any sense of satisfaction (just what you wanted to know, huh?). I ended up sleeping for about 16 hours straight.
16 hours sleeping.
That was after 2 Vivarin and a multi-vitamin and I still couldn’t remain awake.
I fully recommend doing this on an occasional basis but I hate it when it interferes with real life.
I wouldn’t have slept for all that time if my body hadn’t felt the need for it. I guess your body will tell you what it wants and what it needs.

Well that’s about all I have.
OH! In addition, the Beast turned the big 11 on the 18th. I had 4 lil boys running around for a sleepover party. One of the little bast...miscreants had the audacity to tell my son, to his face, that “He sucked and his party sucked.”
Out of the blue! He wasn’t provoked or picked on. In fact, everyone else was complaining about him picking on them.
The bugger
If it had not been for my son’s forgiveness, the boy would have been walking home with a sign around his neck saying “I am a twat.”
Anyway, Beasty let it slide and the boy ended up staying the night as well. When I got up Saturday morning, my son was asleep in his bed in his room and everyone else was conked out in the basement family room.
I found out later that he was the last to crash at around 4:30am.
Here I am fighting to sleep and the Beast can stay up all night long without issue.


Youth is wasted on the young.












OH! also check out my new profile pick!



All kinds of AWESOME isnt it?!!

I was allowed to use this pic by a wonderful artist by the name of Timo Grubing
Please visit his site and bask in his wonderfulness.
(click the pic)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

My Dad



Today is 09/17/2009



My father passed away on this day 6 years ago.
Pardon me while I remember him.


Richard Lee Thomas was a pretty great dad.
James Garner and Clint Eastwood both remind me of my dad. Great guy.
He taught me that there is nothing that you can envision that you cannot create.
He was a Macguyver among Macguyvers.
When we moved to Kansas back in 1980 I was 10ish and we ended up buying a lemon of a house. The main reason was that there was this huge 10 car garage on the acre property. ½ of that became my dad’s shop.
It would get cold in their in the winter so my dad collected some old hot water tanks and used them to build a wood burning fireplace. Scratch that, this monster was huge. It was a furnace and boy it did the job in spades!

Then, since the building was steel, he used Styrofoam sheets to insulate the walls. He framed the walls and bolted these sheets into his ½ of the garage. Cheap insulation at it’s best.

He was always interested in hydroponics. He built his own hydroponic system out of tubing and PVC and used it successfully to grow tomatoes without any soil at all. Why? Because it interested him.

He loved playing blackjack and loved going to Vegas to use his system to pay for the trip. He had a card system that he combined with a betting strategy that always brought him home with at least breaking even. For my dad breaking even meant that the trip paid for itself.

He was an excellent wood worker. He saw this really intricate wooden jewelry box in a magazine. It was a pretty tree where the tree limbs slid out for the drawers. Using that picture he recreated the jewelry box and improved on it. He made 3 or 4 and gave them as presents. The owners were offered as much as $1500.00 for their jewelry boxes but no one would sell.

I remember once telling my dad that I wanted to grow up and be just like him.
He said that was nice but no. He didn’t want me to.
He wanted me to be better then he ever was.

I didn’t understand what he meant at the time but I do now.
I have since told my son the exact same thing.

I just hope, for my son, that I can be 1/2 the dad that mine was to me.

My mentor.
My hero.
My dad.

I love you dad and I miss you.

Your Son.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Getting tired of this song



Karma is a bitch.

(if your name is Karma, my apologies. I certainly do not mean you. Well I don’t know you actually but as far as I know I have never met anyone named Karma so…nevermind)

start over

Karma is a bitch


Karma is basically the belief that “what goes around comes around.”
That if you have been good then good things come to you. Conversely If you have been bad then bad things come to you. However you do have the distinction of having a Karma Bank where all your good and bad are stored, usually your past lives will add or take from your accounts.
Now I know in this life I have been bad. Not evil bad. Not Hitler, Dahlmer or John Wayne Gacy bad. As far as I know my bad has been mere bumps on the bad roadmap.
Normal adolescent bad stuff. Normal “I’m an asshole.” Kind of bad stuff. Surely the little I have accomplished in this life time cannot have filled my bad karma account this full.
That brings me to the conclusion that
I must have been one hell of an evil asshole in another life.
Like a serial killer or a dictator or even a *gasp* large corporation lawyer.

I have been a “good boy” for the past 13 years (well give and take, I am not perfect.) I have given of myself and I have given of my prosperity. I have done a lot of things with nothing expected in return as well as daily good gestures. Helping people, opening doors, being kind, etc. Yet here I am with the distinct knowledge that any week that someone doesn’t die is a good week.
This past weekend ran like this..

Thursday night
– Zero sleep just catnapped through the night longest asleep was maybe 3 hours in a row

Friday
– Work. Hard day, brain burnt up

Friday night
– Zero sleep just catnapped through the night longest asleep was maybe 3 hours in a row.

Saturday
– gave up “sleeping” at 6am, went to the fair, walked around for 5 to 6 hours, Then went to nephews B-day party that night (where I spent most of the time alone and talking to myself, but not by 100% choice.) – found out my House insurance will not be renewed in October. And Finally bed at 11ish.

Sunday – slept the day away. Could not stay conscious until 7pm. Found out my home phone has been shut off since Wednesday. Washing machine has broken down and with only my clothes left to wash.*Had to stand outside so 3 neighborhood boys would stop picking on my son.
Bed at 11ish and slept hard.


Then of course back to work Monday morning.


Just the kind of weekend where you go “what did I do to deserve this?”
Makes me want to really rail and bitch and complain until the thought that no matter how bad I have it someone would be happy to trade places with me. Someone always has it worse.

But still
This is my life and I really don’t think that a decade of really crappy stuff is called for.
I do not have the temperance of Job.
I want to know what I did and what I can do to fix it. Not just for me but for my family too.
I don’t want this bad shit rubbing off on them. I want them to have the really good lucky days.

I would like to think that I am taking on extra crap duty so that they can have positive marks in their Karma Bank. If that was the case then I don’t have a problem. I will shut up and eat my shit pie with a smile and cool whip.


Let me put it another way. If my underwear were to spontaneously burst into flames, it would not surprise me one bit. Just another crappy thing that I will just take in stride.

Here’s to a lifetime of burning drawers.






*My wife has deemed it appropriate that I will wash my own clothes because I do not fold the clean clothes and when I do I do not fold them correctly. FML

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I'd buy them

"Star Wars" - adidas Consortium Super Stars

There might be cooler movie-to-shoe tie-ins than the "Star Wars" adidas Consortium Super Stars, but there's no way there's ever been a pair with cooler packaging. Both the Darth Vader black pair and the Yoda off-whites came on a blister card much like those that contained the original "Star Wars" action figures. And while the concept may have soared over the heads of younger collectors, the over-30 crowd--the ones who knew Greedo shot first--ate these up.




"Ferris Bueller's Day Off" - Nike "Ferris Bueller" SB Dunk Hi

There are those people who believe Ferris Bueller's outfit from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" should have been incinerated, not turned into a sneaker. Those people, it appears, do not work for Nike SB. Which is a good thing, because somehow brown, tan, white, yellow and leopard print turned into something good. Danke schön.



"Gremlins" - Reebok Pump Omni Lites

"Gremlins" was one of those movies that tried to be everything to everyone all at once, combining cute and cuddly aliens (like "ET") with vicious and nasty ones (like "Alien"), who all overrun a small town and interfere with teen romance. Whew. That's the best thing we can say for the movie. The best thing we can say for these Reebok Pump Omni Lites is that thankfully they don't multiply when they get wet.








Thanks to Streetlevel for the information. I didnt even know these shoes were alive!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Mad as a Hatter


I figured it out
I pondered it through FINALLY
For almost 25 years now
for at least 5 out of the 7 days if not twice or more every day for weeks on end.
I have prayed, begged, bartered, pleaded
for 1 thing.
Independent wealth
I know, I know “How shallow. How Selfish.”
Yeah well bite me.
Money cant buy you happiness but it will lead you toward it.
Or
If you think that a large influx of wealth into your life will not bring you joy, then you are not shopping in the right places.
Its not about the material things.
NEVER the material things.
I have never given a rats ass about keeping up with the Jones's.
Sod the buggers.
Money will, however, buy you time.
Time is more precious and fleeting then anything else and it can be purchased with money.
How fucking backward is it?
With money you no longer have to waste time
working
commuting
fretting
planning to preplan the planned budget for a ½ assed vacation
If the money is just sitting there. Waiting for you to use it, all that shit goes away.
POOF
Look at that! You just freed up your entire dayplanner.
In fact you can now buy 2 day planners just so you can ignore them both.
Anyway I digress (shocking surprise huh?)

I have prayed for the Lord's help in this department for over 2 decades and it just gets worse.
Today I had a ephiney,
epifiney,
fuckit … A revelation.

I work to stay sane.
If I did not have to go to work each day I would not have to put on this humanistic shell each day.
I would be able to give up all pretense of normality and just go barking fucking mad.
But since I have responsibilities to my family
I promised to take care of them forever
Not in so many words but in duty.
I am a daddy and thats what daddy's do. Daddy's take care of the family
Roof,food,light,electricity,etc,etc,etc
The Lord read my prayers, looked down and with great wisdom and for thought
“Oh Hell No!”
However, if for some reason this changes and he finally says
“OK to shut you up, here, show me what you got.”
You will know.
I will be the loon in the tree with a bandoleer of coffee carafes dressed like Captain Stubing from the love boat and screaming a listing of the local Chinese takeout menu at the top of my lungs like it was freakin Shakespere.


Or not

just sayin.




Friday, September 11, 2009

You just never know do you?




Suspects in Stillwater Throat Slashing Confess to Crime

Suspects Admit Shocking Details of Brutal Attack on Stillwater Teen

Aaron Gashwazra, 24, and Howard Gashwazra, 40 confessed to a crime that nearly killed 19-year-old Jason Wells.

Howard told police his son, Aaron, was looking for someone to take his anger out on when the two met Wells in a bar area known as "The Strip" in Stillwater.

STILLWATER, Oklahoma -- Investigators believe a father and son accused of slashing a teen's throat and leaving him for dead had planned the crime.

Jason Wells, 19, was found staggering out of a wooded area by a fisherman Thursday morning at Lake McCurtry northwest of Stillwater. Stillwater Police said the teen had been stabbed multiple times near a gravel campsite and his throat had been cut with a pocket knife.
According to a probable cause affidavit Wells met the suspects, Howard Gashwazra and his son Aaron Gashwazra, in the bar area known as "The Strip" in Stillwater.

Court documents stated Howard confessed to police he was scared of his son, and that his son was searching for someone on which to release his anger.

When the father and son arrived at Lake McMurtry with Wells, Howard said he heard Wells scream for help, but Aaron told him not to worry about it.
Aaron and Howard then stripped Wells of his pants and shoes to hide evidence.

Howard said his son then told him not to worry because the victim was "surely dead."

Howard told police he participated in the crime out of fear, and that his son has severe anger issues and was just released from prison.

According to the court affidavit, Aaron confessed to the crime.

Both men are being held on a $1 million bond in the Noble County jail.

Wells is listed in critical condition at OU Medical Center.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is just insane.
I went to High School with the father in this.. this….
My god I cant even come up with an appropriate descriptive.
It’s a shock.
First, When I was in High School being Gay was not the in thing. It was whispered about and/ or used as a mockery of adolescents but it was never ok like it is today.
OK well maybe it’s still not ok today but it sure as hell is more accepted today then in my days of thunder.
Anyway, I knew Howard. He was a sweet guy. I was positive that he would graduate and become some other guys sweet butt monkey in New York or some other large city.
Today I find out that not only is he in jail with his son for attempted murder held on a million dollar bond but he is also a convicted rapist as well.
Holy Fucking Wow!
I know all the crap about you never really know someone and people change and blahblahblah and it’s not like I actually kept track of this guy.
Heck I had forgotten all about him until I friended him on FaceBook.
I guess it’s kinda like finding a mouse in your cabinet.
It’s not like you don’t know that mice exist and you have seen poop and gnawing so you know that there is a mouse in the house but it still shocks the hell outta you when you open the cabinet and see the little beady eyes staring back at you.



Thursday, September 10, 2009

Still here


It’s been a while since I have blogged anything of import here.
Not that I have forgotten or anything
and it’s not as if I am too busy.
Well let me back that up a bit,
work has been hell so I just cant get as much goofing off in as I used to.
My laptop is still giving me fits as well but I just hate typing on that keyboard anyway

But I digress…

Actually I just lead a rather boring ass life.
Nothing of real importance has gone on.
With as much “bad” that has happened I could just say I am laying low right now but that’s really not true either.

It’s just so hard to find the energy anymore.

An average week consist of
1. I get up (tired)
2. I ½ heartedly try to get the kids up
3. I get ready for work
4. I ½ heartedly try to get the kids up
5. I go to work
6. I work
7. I take an hour lunch (usually don’t eat anything just goof off for an hour as a relaxing thing but really just killing time.)
8. I do more work
9. I go home
10. I change clothes into shorts (no matter the time of year, well maybe sweats in the middle of winter)
11. I let my brain glaze over as I stare at the idiot box. (sometimes I feel smarter because I am staring at the Discovery or History channel but it’s all really mindless. Just fooling myself)
12. I eat supper
13. I let my brain glaze over as I stare at the idiot box.
14. I take my medication (painkiller, anti-D’s and a sleep helper)
15. I let my brain glaze over as I stare at the idiot box.
16. I go to bed.
17. I got to sleep
18. I get up
19. I go back to bed
20. I go back to sleep
21. I repeat. 16-20 until…
22. I get up (tired)
23. I ½ heartedly try to get the kids up
24. I get ready for work
25. I ½ heartedly try to get the kids up
26. I go to work
Etc…etc...etc..

Nothing holds my interest.
I have improved to the point where I can FORCE myself to do stuff but what fun is it if you have to force it.
And yes now even the all important “night moves” have lost my interest.
Might as well become a monk.

I would be a horrible monk.

I am actually trying though.
I am trying to break the spell, habit, whatever
Makes me feel all sorts of guilty as my kids deserve better then this.
But I am trying.

I need to stop smoking so maybe my natural hyperness will kick back in but last time I did my natural assholeness came out instead.

I make a great asshole.

Hmm that’s sounds like a dish.

Asshole casserole just add carrots.

Babbling now.

Shutting up.





Thursday, September 3, 2009

Cool stuff of the unexplained.

I find this absolutley fascinating

Stone-Balls-Costa-Rica

Workmen hacking and burning their way through the dense jungle of Costa Rica to clear an area for banana plantations in the 1930s stumbled upon some incredible objects: dozens of stone balls, many of which were perfectly spherical. They varied in size from as small as a tennis ball to an astonishing 8 feet in diameter and weighing 16 tons! Although the great stone balls are clearly man-made, it is unknown who made them, for what purpose and, most puzzling, how they achieved such spherical precision.

Dropastones-China

In 1938, an archaeological expedition led by Dr. Chi Pu Tei into the Baian-Kara-Ula mountains of China made an astonishing discovery in some caves that had apparently been occupied by some ancient culture. Buried in the dust of ages on the cave floor were hundreds of stone disks. Measuring about nine inches in diameter, each had a circle cut into the center and was etched with a spiral groove, making it look for all the world like some ancient phonograph record some 10,000 to 12,000 years old. The spiral groove, it turns out, is actually composed of tiny hieroglyphics that tell the incredible story of spaceships from some distant world that crash-landed in the mountains. The ships were piloted by people who called themselves the Dropa, and the remains of whose descendants, possibly, were found in the cave.


Image-10

Etched into the earth on the Nazca Plains in Peru are giant symbols drawn perfectly straight. Some are hundreds of metres long. They look as if they were drawn by some giant hand two thousand years ago. And the strange thing is, they can only be seen from the air. So how did the ancient Nazcans draw them? Researchers say they could have created hot air balloon or kites to fly and view their work. Indeed, an experiment was carried out and it proved that the Nazcans could have made a working balloon. The symbols themselves are of animals and plants. Yet some are long strips of land without any direct meaning. A writer named Erich Von Daniken believed that these were landing strips for alien spacecraft, and that aliens could have drawn them. They may also be for contacting these aliens. Maria Reiche, an astronomer, says that these lines may be used as a calendar, or to keep track of the stars and planets. There is a monkey drawing that has a coiled tail that looks similar to the orbital lines of our solar system. There are even more obscure theories that suggest that there were giant people 2,000 years ago. Yet, they are still a mystery.


All this and more that we have no idea of what and where it came from and yet we are still exploring space.

lets finish one book before we start another, shall we?


Now that is funny.

The Eruption of Mount Edgecumbe

Mount-Edgecumbe

In 1974 residents of Sitka, Alaska were alarmed when the long-dormant volcano neighboring them, Mount Edgecumbe, suddenly began to belch out billows of black smoke. People spilled out of their homes onto the streets to gaze up at the volcano, terrified that it was active again and might soon erupt.

Luckily it turned out that man, not nature, was responsible for the smoke. A local practical joker named Porky Bickar had flown hundreds of old tires into the volcano’s crater and then lit them on fire, all in a (successful) attempt to fool the city dwellers into believing that the volcano was stirring to life. According to local legend, when Mount St. Helens erupted six years later, a Sitka resident wrote to Bickar to tell him, “This time you’ve gone too far!”