Monday, September 14, 2009

Getting tired of this song

Karma is a bitch.

(if your name is Karma, my apologies. I certainly do not mean you. Well I don’t know you actually but as far as I know I have never met anyone named Karma so…nevermind)

start over

Karma is a bitch

Karma is basically the belief that “what goes around comes around.”
That if you have been good then good things come to you. Conversely If you have been bad then bad things come to you. However you do have the distinction of having a Karma Bank where all your good and bad are stored, usually your past lives will add or take from your accounts.
Now I know in this life I have been bad. Not evil bad. Not Hitler, Dahlmer or John Wayne Gacy bad. As far as I know my bad has been mere bumps on the bad roadmap.
Normal adolescent bad stuff. Normal “I’m an asshole.” Kind of bad stuff. Surely the little I have accomplished in this life time cannot have filled my bad karma account this full.
That brings me to the conclusion that
I must have been one hell of an evil asshole in another life.
Like a serial killer or a dictator or even a *gasp* large corporation lawyer.

I have been a “good boy” for the past 13 years (well give and take, I am not perfect.) I have given of myself and I have given of my prosperity. I have done a lot of things with nothing expected in return as well as daily good gestures. Helping people, opening doors, being kind, etc. Yet here I am with the distinct knowledge that any week that someone doesn’t die is a good week.
This past weekend ran like this..

Thursday night
– Zero sleep just catnapped through the night longest asleep was maybe 3 hours in a row

– Work. Hard day, brain burnt up

Friday night
– Zero sleep just catnapped through the night longest asleep was maybe 3 hours in a row.

– gave up “sleeping” at 6am, went to the fair, walked around for 5 to 6 hours, Then went to nephews B-day party that night (where I spent most of the time alone and talking to myself, but not by 100% choice.) – found out my House insurance will not be renewed in October. And Finally bed at 11ish.

Sunday – slept the day away. Could not stay conscious until 7pm. Found out my home phone has been shut off since Wednesday. Washing machine has broken down and with only my clothes left to wash.*Had to stand outside so 3 neighborhood boys would stop picking on my son.
Bed at 11ish and slept hard.

Then of course back to work Monday morning.

Just the kind of weekend where you go “what did I do to deserve this?”
Makes me want to really rail and bitch and complain until the thought that no matter how bad I have it someone would be happy to trade places with me. Someone always has it worse.

But still
This is my life and I really don’t think that a decade of really crappy stuff is called for.
I do not have the temperance of Job.
I want to know what I did and what I can do to fix it. Not just for me but for my family too.
I don’t want this bad shit rubbing off on them. I want them to have the really good lucky days.

I would like to think that I am taking on extra crap duty so that they can have positive marks in their Karma Bank. If that was the case then I don’t have a problem. I will shut up and eat my shit pie with a smile and cool whip.

Let me put it another way. If my underwear were to spontaneously burst into flames, it would not surprise me one bit. Just another crappy thing that I will just take in stride.

Here’s to a lifetime of burning drawers.

*My wife has deemed it appropriate that I will wash my own clothes because I do not fold the clean clothes and when I do I do not fold them correctly. FML

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Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.