Saturday, March 31, 2012

come on people...

Facebook Wants to Be Your One True Login
accidentally got a high search engine ranking for “facebook login”. Go look at the comments there to see if you can figure out what happened.

Truly it is sad.
  I dont consider myself to be a computer whiz. I now stuff. I learned almost everything I know by goofing something up and then having to figure out how to fix it.
  Of course a lot of this was before everyone had a PC strapped to their face.
  Now that the PC is such a basic building block in today's 21st century society it is no longer acceptable to say "I am not a computer person".
  If you are truly not a computer person then you need to sell everything you have and go live with the Amish. They at least have a valid reason as to why they cant use something as basic as a browser. ** No one expects you to be able to pop open any laptop and hack into NORAD but we do expect you to be able to complete some of the most basic of functions.
  Look at it this way.
  Lets say everyone in the world has never seen a car before in their life but we all want to get from point a to point b.
  Those people who have actually taken the time to read the instructions, practice some on their own and maybe even take a lesson or 2 are going to be able to jump in and get there pretty well right.
  I would even say that they make it look easy.
So when someone else comes along and sees them driving around effortlessly they figure "cant be that hard" jump in the cab of the nearest 14 wheeler and just start pumping pedals and pushing buttons. So off they go, completely out of control down the highway with the windshield wipers flapping , the radio blaring full blast on a Swedish folk music station and both blinkers on (no idea how THAT even happens).
  Once their ride ends with them smashing head-on into  pumpkin delivery truck they stumble from the smoking wreckage and exclaim
"Well I'm not much of a driving person".


**Of course I am directly speaking to America here. If you actually have to fight each day to stay alive and any computer is pretty much science fiction then I hold you no malice. Of course I then have to wonder how you would even be reading this.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


  It is little things like this that I find the most amazing.
When a person who obviously has the utmost power, whether it be celebrity where the power is one given to them for their status or people like Obama or the Queen who have their societal rankings thrust upon them just for the station they occupy.
These are the people I like.
These people who not only take the time out of their busy days to mingle with the “little people” but actually go out of their way to do something nice for them.

Posted: 24 Mar 2012 12:57 PM PDT via NEATORAMA
When John and Frances Canning scheduled their wedding at Manchester Town Hall, they discovered that the Queen was going to be there
 for her Diamond Jubilee celebration.
So naturally, they sent a lighthearted invite to the Palace.
Guess who showed up?
Bride Frances, 44, who runs a hairdressing salon, said she was flabbergasted to be greeted by name by the Queen.
She said: “We booked the town hall ages ago but we got a phone call four weeks ago telling us that a VIP would be in the building on the same day.
“We never dreamt we would be able to meet her.
“When we had our ceremony, the staff asked us to wait for a moment in the corridor and just a few minutes later the Queen arrived.
She knew both our names and apparently we had been especially added to her rota.”
Link (Photo: Manchester Evening News Syndicate) – via PhotoBlog – Thanks Tiffany! 

Saturday, March 24, 2012

a favorite of mine...

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the beer.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled. "I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of beers."

Friday, March 16, 2012

Walking Dead Virus theory

OK so this is what I am thinking.
Everyone already has the virus. All are infected.
However as long as you are alive the virus is kept in check in the human body by their own immune system. you are fine, even normal.
Who knows maybe the virus even keeps you healthier. Like it kills cancer cells or something.
However due to the aggressive yet beneficial nature of the virus the balance is a pretty even balance.
Like a 1.2 to 1 cellular ratio. Your white blood cells are basically doing all they can just to keep gauges on “even keel”.
Obviously the majority of the virus resides in the brain pan. Maybe it even acts as a collective like bees.
However once you die the virus says “nu-uh I ain’t done here! I am in charge now!” and so off you go.
The virus is now hunting down the raw materials it needs to keep going. Well you cant get a blood transfusion from a cow so you know it needs genetically compatible materials. Since it is a virus it doesnt know about upkeep and taking care of your toys so it just runs around pushing the vehicle till it just cant move no more.
So now humans are blue plate specials.
Since the host is dead already the virus is now allowed to run rampant and build up in the hosts system to an extremely toxic level.
So when you get bit or other fluids transpose between hosts the balanced scales are tipped. The walkers virus goes “WHOOHOO” and jumps ship like any good virus will do.
Hey they just wanna watch the world burn too.
Since YOUR virus just had a crapload of relatives showup for the holidays your immune system goes “oh balls. I quit.” and down you go into zombieland.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I read …

I read …
  • The world record for carrying a milk bottle on your head is 24 miles.
Why 24 miles? That seems to be an odd number.
Did a gust of wind come up and blow it off?
Were they going from point A to point B and arrived so they stopped?
Did they finally just go “Oh this is just stupid” and stop?

  • The longest kiss on record was 130 hours and 2 minutes.
You have been in a lip lock for 5 days already so 10 hours into the 6th day they decide to stop?
Why? Was 131 hours just way to long? Did someone burp?
Was it a passionate kiss or did they just stand there touching lips?
Was there tongue involved?

  • 13 people a year are killed by a vending machine falling on them. I understand that this is due to them rocking the machine trying to get an extra bag of fritos but if, say they are moving the vending machine to the 3rd floor and it slips and falls, does that one count too?

  • It would take 150 years to drive a car to the sun.
Whose car is doing this? Marty McFly’s?

  • If a family had 2 servants or less in the U.S. in 1900, census takers recorded it as "lower middle-class."
By today’s standards that’s rather indulgent, so that means everyone beneath Trump status is considered lower middle class today?
What changed though? Did the wish to save money bring about the demise of the position or did the fading out of the position change the definition of wealth?

  • There are 26 calories in a Hershey Kiss however you burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss.
I think not.

  • The face of a penny can hold about thirty drops of water.
It is factoids such as this one that make me wonder “What kind of free-time do some people have and just how much weed do you have to smoke to wonder about the fluid retention abilities of pocket change”
Who was this person who was so thirsty but just for 30 drops of water?
“Well I certainly don’t want to muss up a fresh cup as I am just slightly parched and my hands are just way to convenient to use.”
“well why not just pour some water on a quarter and drink that?”
“ARE YOU MAD! That’s way too much water for me to drink! I know lets try a penny!”