Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Wanna watch a movie?

     
I spent way, way too much time in front of the TV with the heating pad strapped to my back this Christmas break. Here are "some" of the things I watched in the 10 days of Christmas. This doesn't count the sheer metric ton of crap I started and bailed on because I was not in the right mood to watch it. Here are the ones I can remember over the 10 days
 
 
 
 Movies
Colossal - dang I thought this would be good. Anne Hathaway and Jason Sudeikis? Sure, but it is a colossal waste of time. Damn waste of celluloid to be sure. It just doesn't know if it wants to be. Is it a sci-fi flick, a drama, a comedy, a quirky fun romp or a serious whatever. It never picks a direction and runs at it but just bounces around which hobbles the whole story.  Amazon gives it a 6.2 and I give it a 2.5
 
 Autopsy of Jane Doe -- dumb. Not even good for a jump scare. Flimsy premise and just dumb.
 
 Bright - predictable but good. Better than I was expecting and left me wanting to see more of this world.
 
 NetherBeast Incorporated - I need to watch it again as I got distracted near the end but what I saw I liked. Hey! That's Steve from Blue's Clues!
 
 Starwars #7 - always good to watch but it's the same story at #4 just flashier I did go to se the new one but my daughter announced in the parking lot that she hadnt seen 7 so we went back home and watched it instead.
 
Office Christmas Party - ugh. Waste of time and talent
 
 Love the Coopers - not bad. Light and easy to digest.
 
 Burnt - not a huge Bradley Cooper fan but this wasn't too bad. I can see what they were going for and they almost made it.
 
 Bad Moms - Funny. Worth the time investment. Ending was a little trite though where everyone becomes friends but still good.
 
 Hardcore Henry - shite
 
 Religulous - I gotta watch it again. I fell asleep near the end.
 
 Bad Grandpa - didn't get past the 20-minute mark. I don't think being crass just to be crass is funny. A crude joke can be hilarious if used right but being crude just to be crude is dull.
 
 Bone Tomahawk - a good western with a horror flick sprinkled in. Kinda draggy in places but solid enough to watch again.
 
 Would you rather - to be honest this was I think, the 3rd time I had watched it. I just like the premise.
 
 Larry Crowne - I like Tom Hanks more then I dislike Julia Roberts. Not a bad movie. Kind of bland though.
 
 Astro Boy - wow there was a lot of talent attached to this movie. Some A level stars leant their voices to the movie. Hey at least china liked it (Japan, not so much)



Series Binged
John Claude Van Johnson - funny and actiony. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. (watched 6 Episodes/season1)
 
 Parks and Recreation - always good. Threw an entire Saturday at it with that damned "ok just one more" (watched about 32 Episodes)
 
 Breaking Bad - always good. Lost a Sunday to it. (watched about 7 episodes)
 
 Bullshit! - Quite informative. Lots of cursing but I liked it. completed season 1 and working on 2. (watched 13 Episodes/season1)
 
 7 Deadly Sins - hey it was ok for background noise. Some were rather interesting but most were included for "shock" value (watched 7 episodes)
 
 Black Mirror - season 4 is good! Better then season 3. (watched 4 episodes of season 4)
 
 Ash Vs the Evil Dead - a guilty pleasure of mine. (watched 10 episodes/season2)
 
 Doctor Who - spent an entire day with the Doctor before the Christmas Special which was actually not too bad this yea. (watched about 13 episodes)

Yeah I don't sleep much



Saturday, December 30, 2017

liberals are whiners

I am so tired of hearing that old chestnut "You liberals are whiners" or basically anything that denotes a liberal or conservative delineation.

 lets say you are on a aircraft traveling to wherever and suddenly half way there both pilots are stricken dead on the spot. Along comes the stewardess and she announces to the cabin "Is anyone here a pilot?" 2 people raise their hands
One is a pilot currently and has 20 years of experience but has been suspended for multiple infractions that endangered multiple flights and even resulted in a few deaths. The other is a businessman who has over 1000 hours of frequent flier miles and owns a couple of planes but has never set foot in a cockpit.
Now which one do you want to get you home?
I have voted for a republican candidate in every election I have been able to vote in but that was just by mere happenstance. I do not vote party, I vote on the weights and the merits of the candidate. What I saw during the election was a man standing up in front of hundreds of people and literally just saying what they wanted to hear. It was as if people were shouting from the audience and he was blindly promising whatever they wanted.
"I want healthcare" Ill give you the best healthcare
"I want jobs" I will give all the jobs
"I want a pony" I have Silver from the Lone Ranger waiting backstage for you

It was ridiculous and what scared me the most was people were eating it up.
Ok so I figured voting for Trump is a stupid idea. I like the idea of a businessman as president to kind of make some changes but not him, not Trump.
So I looked at the democrat choices and oh my God no. I could not vote for Hilary and be able to look myself in the eye afterward. She is corrupt, pure and simple.She is 100% politician and that makes her full of slime and poison (in my opinion,of course)
So I threw my vote to the independents and went home.
and the nation proceeded to VOTE THE BUSINESSMAN IN TO LAND THE FUCKING PLANE!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
So now here we are with almost 25% of the term over with and he is proving himself to be incompetent and a joke. It is going to take quite a few years for the nation to get back the respect we had spent the last 200+ years building up.


So stop with the liberal/conservative/democrat/republican crap and lets just call this an American problem.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Oh dont be RE-DICK-O-LOOSE

This is pretty disgusting but this is also something no one else in the world knows.
You have been warned.
 
SURPRISE! I do dumb stuff sometimes.
Imagine that.

I have done some inane stunts in my lifetime. From rolling cars to shitting in a public trashcan but one of the dumbest things I ever did was lick an elevator.
Yes, that is not a typo (even though I cannot begin to tell which word I could have been misspelled to mistake this particular phrase)

I worked for a big aviation firm in an office setting.
I hated my job.
It was mind-numbingly boring and there was nothing resembling any sort of training.
It was literally this is how you do this and now here is your PC and phone.
 GO!

I went into work one day despondent as usual. I was in a dark funk anyway as my father had recently passed.
I climbed into the great glass and brass elevator to head up to the third floor.
Standing there hating life and everything around me I noticed the gleaming brass wall next to the elevator buttons.
On impulse I leaned over and just ran my tongue up the length of it

Yup, that’s gross. 
    That’s gross.
I am well aware of how gross that is.

I didn’t care.
To be honest it was my lil act of terroism. I had no way to get back at “the man” so I decided to slime the lift. Like I said spur of the moment. Not even really a decision I just...did it.
In my impotent rage, my only way to rage against the machine was the liberal application of my saliva.
Not proud of it. Like I said I was already in a dark hole.
In fact, didn’t even think about it again until the next morning when I woke with a sore throat.
Which kept me home as it kept getting redder and hotter
Guess who had strep throat.
A right noxious case of it as well.
Laid me out for four days.

Therefore, boys and girls, take it from me as a voice of knowledge
No matter how much you hate your current position it is always better to change your position then it is to lick public transportation.

Thats the PSA for today.

ZOMBEE
 

Monday, October 16, 2017

Trump is a CEO

The CEO of a company's first duty is to the company. To keep a company viable they have to trim costs and grow gains, right?
Ok to a CEO an employee is an asset only as far as their profitability to the company. Meaning when you die your loss is not mourned, as you are a disposable piece.
The burnt out cog is removed and a new one is slotted in and the engine chugs on.

I think when everyone jumped on the bandwagon to bring this "businessman" into office so he could run the countries business they forgot this aspect.
Trump is going to cut corners and ruthlessly cut corners in his bid to Make America Great Again.
This means that everyone who relies on the government for any assistance be they veterans or the elderly or the poor are going to just shit outta luck.
For instance, welfare. Sure, some people abuse it and abuse the hell outta it.
However, the 80-year-old grandmother just trying to exist is not abusing it but she is going to be in the same boat as the 20-year-old mother of five who just don't wanna work.

How about healthcare? That is a problem right there. All of these countries in the world that actually take care of their citizens and yet we...just can't.
Just grabbing one at random, look at Norway?
NOR-WAY!
No one thinks about Norway. I forgot that it existed until just now.
In Norway, healthcare is free for residents (well, except for the $21 visit fee but once you hit the annual cap of $1817 including medications everything is free)
How awesome would it be if America, one of the strongest and richest countries in the world could do something like that?
My wife is going in for a lifesaving surgery in two weeks and even after our "insurance", it is going to cost me $1500.00 UP FRONT and that is on top of the $1000 I have already paid.
This isn't even counting recuperation, the hospital stay or the 6 weeks out of work.
It is a damn broken system.

America is NOT a business it is a living, breathing entity and running it like a business is going to do more harm than good.
I don't have any of the answers; I am not paid to have the answers.
I use my vote to vote in the person that might have at least a couple of the answers in the hopes it can be made a little better.
I know it will not get better in my lifetime. That we are travelling a dark, dark road right now and there is no light at the tunnel.
My only hope is that by the time my kids are my age that they will be able to see a glimmer of light.






















The image of this ZomBee can be purchased in T-shirt form from Fat Owl Tees at https://www.fatowltees.com/motive/shirt/zom-bee

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Inside of everyone

Inside of everyone, there is a container
 
 Inside of the container, all the horribleness of the world pours into for internal storage. Everything from man's inhumanity to man-to-man's mistreatment of nature to the latest string of murders or rapes or beatings or molestations or just the overall cruelty of humanity all pours into that vat. Just the daily incalculable badness of the world that no one can escape from. Picture a swimming pool full of a black oily tar. Rolling and bubbling with a large sewer like pipeline over it continually pouring this sludge in. Sometimes it dribbles in and sometimes it is as if all the toilets in Manhattan were flushed at the same time and the sludge fore jets in.

Some people have huge oil tanker sized vats that absorbs everything they can get their beady little minds on. It doesn't matter how much they get there is always room for more.
Some people have teacup-sized containers that even the smallest infraction fills the cup to over flowing threatening to the point of bursting.
And every size in between
The container does have a finite amount it can hold and the older you get less you can contain. I don't think your container shrinks in size I think the residue never subsides. There is always layer left over no matter how much you burn off and the older you get the more layers you have.

I know lately my container has been full to slopping over the sides. For instance there was a movie on last night called Chappie, it has Hugh Jackman and Dev Patel in it and is about a robot that gains sentience. In the movie, there are scenes where the newly born robot is being mistreated by various humans it encounters and I almost shut off the movie. It's not even that great of a movie but I just could not stomach watching these actors beat up a robot.
I guess I need to find a way to burn off all this excess sludge in my vat. Maybe a binge/purge on some Disney fluff or a day spent with puppies will help me expunge some of my waste.

Maybe I will just turn the TV off for a few days as it does seem to be continually broadcasting the sludge I am trying to avoid.
Anyway, I will talk ya later. I gotta go find some puppies.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

More Political stuff to ignore


 Well I have now watched my very first presidential address. In my 47 years on this planet I had never done that before. Well not that I can recall at least. I grew up avoiding the local news and the national news in all of its formats like the plague.
Completely 100% non informed.
Why? It bored me. simple as that. I found it utterly boring. The talking heads are just telling me a bunch of horrible and depressing shit that doesn't affect me in any way.
except the weather but cant do anything about that either.
They sit on the TV and tell me about this person killing that person or this guy was caught doing something bad or blah,blah,blah.
Dont even care about sports either (shocking I know) I thought games weren't meant to be played so Ive never seen the draw of watching people running around just playing. If I wanted to see that Id go to the playground. at least there you might get to see a pirate and transformer get in a fight with Spiderman or something equally epic.
anyway I digress.
Politics have always be a non-starter for me.
Bunch millionaires arguing with each other for their own benefit. They dont care about you. They dont care about the law or the planet or America or anything really. All hey want to do is line their pockets with as much cash as possible and try to keep the options open to do it again next year.
Thats it.
 So I watched President Trump and before you misunderstand, yes he is my president. I didnt vote for him but he has the office now. So being so squeaky new to this whole thing I do have questions.
like, ok all I heard was a buncha back patting and "this is what I intend to do" no plans though just a buncha words saying what people want to hear. Do people honestly believe he is laying out his plans for the next 4 years?
 Dont they realize he is just placating them?
I guess I just dont trust him more then the millions that voted for him.
I know there will be a moment in the next 4 years where I will be given the opportunity to stand up and shout I TOLD YOU SO but I dont want it.
I just want all this political crap to go away and turn the channel to cartoons.
Maybe the Thundercats are still on.







The image of this ZomBee can be purchased in T-shirt form from Fat Owl Tees at https://www.fatowltees.com/motive/shirt/zom-bee


Monday, February 13, 2017

Goin out for the night?



PSA for the newly or soon to be newly 21 crowd.
Never drink yourself to the edge of oblivion in public. Know yourself and your limits and don't discover them when you out having a grand old time. That is when horrible things happen to good people.
If you are out and start to see the cliff of oblivion coming up fast and your car ain't slowing down, at that time its too late to start developing an evacuation plan. Getting in your car to go home now would be the equivalent of throwing the car in reverse, doing a 180 and slamming on the accelerator.
A supremely dumb idea.
Drinking water and eating some starch would be a good way to toss an anchor out the door of the car. A really desperate maneuver is to drink a large glass of milk. Hopefully it will curdle and cause you to create a glorious technicolor yawn. Once you are done shouting at your shoes, you will have removed all of the alcohols backup forces and can work on just processing the ones who have already infiltrated your defenses.


Be smart in advance so you can still take measures after your brain has packed it's bag, put on his fedora and walked out in disgust.