Earthyquake

I was lounging around on my sofa on Saturday night flipping my attention between the laptop and the TV (it was my turn to be on call for work). It was mmm about 11pmish
I heard a low rumble…. thought hmm big truck
I heard a louder grumble and …thought hmm is the clothes washer unbalanced?
  Then the sofa began to wobble back and forth like someone was one the end of it shaking it violently the windows started to rattle and the rumble was loud, deep and quite insistent.
So naturally I thought what anyone would have in that situation
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!
MY FURNITURE IS POSSESSED!!!
I leapt up off the demon-couch and ran smack dab into a wall of discomfort.
You know when you walk from a cold room into a really hot room or when you walk outside in the summer when it’s a 102? That oppressive feeling you get as if the heat is physically pushing on you?
Yeah it was a lot like that but without the heat.
And then as quick as that, it was gone.
WoW That was cool!
It was a 5.6 earthquake deep in the heart of the Midwest!
The last earthquake I had experienced was when I lived in California back in the late 70’s when I was but a boy and …yeah I cant recall anything about it.
The Boy came darting out of his room his eyes as big as saucers! “I was laying in bed and the whole bed started to shake and I had my foot on the wall so I thought I was doing it so I moved myfootbutthebedkeptgoing!”
I just ruffled his head good naturedly and laughed said “aw son twernt nuthin but a poultrygeist”
His eyes got even bigger…
“Nah just kidding it was just an earthquake”
His eyes have now taken over his entire face and his bottom jaw just bounced off of the floor.
The fury of nature has always been his fear factor point.
I forget that sometimes.
So I laugh off the whole thing and reassure him that all is well and good in our kingdom.
Then we both go into the bedroom to check on mom.
The wife is laying in the bed under the covers and even from the doorway I can tell she is as stiff as a board.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!”
Have you ever seen a horse that is spooked? Like a huge thunderclap sounds and the horse just completely freaks out. It hasn’t completely lost its shit but it is just about there and the eyes roll… yeah kinda like that.
She said it felt like someone was under the bed punching on it
It was grand experience.
I just cant believe how many people actually called 911 though.
What are the police going to do? Arrest the earth's crust?
What can the fire department do?  Glue some knick-knacks back together? I guess that would be a job more appropriate to the EMS though.
If no one is bleeding or injured why call 911?
Silly stupid cattle people.