Saturday, April 18, 2009

Here's where it gets weird.

This is my rock.

I don’t remember where I picked it up at (I think my son might?).
I carry this as part of my pocket litter. Everywhere.
When I leave the house, it goes in my pocket.
I am not emotionally attached to my rock; it’s just something I have.
When need something to do with my hands I rub the rock with my thumb.
It’s my thinking rock.
I guess you could say that in one aspect it has become a totemic item for me

When getting ready for work, my pocket litter consists ALWAYS of
1. 2 dollars in quarters (I have found that 2 dollars is the perfect amount to carry. It is always 2 dollars and always just quarters. If I don’t have 2 dollars in quarters I carry no change, if I have more then 2 dollars in quarters I just carry 2 dollars.)
2. A handkerchief (I used to have bad allergies, now it’s just habit.)
3. My wallet (mostly for ID, I rarely have money to go in it. I do carry a squished out penny from the Excalibur hotel in Vegas. My dad made it in Vegas and gave it to my Grandmother. She gave it to me after he went to the clearing at the end of the path.*)
4. A lighter (usually 2, depends on the weather. More pockets mean more lighters.)
5. Cigarettes (I know, I know. I don’t even smoke THAT much. On a heavy stressful day, it might reach 7 on a good day 3or4)
6. My pain meds.(I don’t like to be caught "elsewhere" without them. hurts too much to not take them and I hate having to stop everything and everyone just due to me.)
7. My rock

My almost always list would include the items above and also be
A. My Cellphone
B. A pocketknife
C. My Keys (with USB drive attached)
D. My MP3 player (usually only audio books on it, I rarely listen to music in the car)

Does this make me odd?
Yeah, probably.
Don’t care.
I like me.
I would like me to be a more active and have more energy but I am dealing and coping with that.
I think looking at me now, you would be hard pressed to believe that I used to be hyper.
I don’t just mean "wow, look at the energy on that one!" hyper
I mean
"Holy Fuck, someone shoot him with a tranq dart!" hyper
Now I am rambling
I can’t find the door out of here.
Shutting up.

* If you know where that is from then I say long days and pleasant nights to you.

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Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.