Tuesday, April 21, 2009

EUREKA moment

I was just remembering a time of my own great ingenuity.

It was my very first day at a new job and I was sitting in an orientation class. Pretty soon, my stomach started burning.
Heartburn and it was a monster.
I sat there for a bit hoping it would subside and drank some water in the hopes of diluting it.
Yeah, that wasn’t happening. It felt like I was in the process of burning a whole straight through my chest cavity. I really didn’t want an extra hole in my body at the time. I really couldn’t see the usefulness of a fist sized gaping wound.
I sat that and thought about it.
I didn’t have any antacids and I did not have access to them.
and thought about it.
I was not going to last 6 more hours with this lump smoldering in my chest.
and thought about it.

Finally, the light bulb went off.
OK! If heartburn is directly related to the acid produced by the stomach and an antacid’s purpose is to chemically diffuse said acid then it made sense that if I could swallow something porous enough it would help absorb the acid and diffuse it as well.
Looking at the items on hand, I really didn’t have many options.
I thought first of graphite. If I ate a pencil lead that would work. The graphite should work as an antacid. Alas, not a pencil to be found. In addition, I did not think it would look well if the “new guy” was eating a pencil like a goat. I figured drug testing and psych evaluations wouldn’t be too far behind.

Paper!! I had a whole notebook of paper.
It was fibrous and porous enough to do the job.
With nothing to lose, I started pulling strips off a sheet of paper and started eating. 10 minutes and 1 8x10 sheet of lined paper later, the heartburn was gone.

I was rather proud of myself for my ingenuity in a crisis.

Have you ever had a moment of brilliant deduction as well?
Talk to me.

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Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.