Thursday, March 5, 2009

One more time

I got such a good response on my lil note on depression I wanted to follow that up once more here by helping out those who might not know what it is like to be depressed..
OK lets try this.
Close your eyes and for the next, I don't know, hour
I want you to do nothing but think of every single remorseful event in your life. Every sad thing,
every death,
every regret,
every missed opportunity and every embarrassing moment.
Think very hard, be in the moment.
Dont fall asleep – this sets the mood.
Think Deep
Remember everything, every wrong turn and every twist of the knife, leave nothing out
Play them over and over and over again in your head and concentrate on nothing but the bad.
OK feeling down yet?
A little blue?
Feel a tightening in the pit of your stomach yet? Has the day taken on a slightly darker hue yet?
Has the shine gone out of the day for you?
then keep trying… come back in 30.
NOW you've lost that lovin feeling?
You just want to go back to bed and hide under the sheets and call today a wash? Good were almost there then.
OK now take that clumsy, ungainly,”make it go away” feeling and hold it up and really concentrate on how bad you feel.
You can think of it as a banana. A very bad banana!
Now, take away any hope you might have that you will feel better in an hour
(peel a strip) …
or after a good nights sleep
(peel a strip)
…or in a couple of days
(peel a strip)
…or in a week or so
(peel a strip)
…or ever
(peel a strip)

Your still not done.

Now, hold that thought in your head ( I know this is getting hard, bear with me)
Now remove all joy from your life.
Everything you enjoy to do, you now hate
You have no energy, breathing even feels optional
Everyone either hates you, doesn’t want to be around you or pity’s you.
Nothing holds your interest for long
It is all pointless anyway
Oh, don’t forget that you cant do anything right (even when you do.)

---Still almost there, one more thing.-----

Now , in your head, scream as loud as possible every single rhyme, song, joke, poem or long list of gobbledegook you can think of. Try to get them all going all at the same time, over and over and as loud as possible. They don't have to make much sense just enough to keep your brain distracted and occupied. Can you still think straight? Then try harder…

That is pretty close to what depression feels like.
It's like this every minute of every day.

Except this is just a demonstration, you get to go back to your happy lives in a bit here.
A person suffering from depression is stuck
There is no hope in sight and no light at the end of their tunnel
There is no escape
Ending it all is not an option ( you are not a coward !!)
So you must press on. You are not alive you just live.
Monotony is the spice of your life.
Even your biggest joys are the smallest splashes in your pool.
I guess a reasonably good analogy would be to picture yourself dead center in the middle of a loud concert. You are by yourself. The music is LOUD and it SUCKS and they have been playing the same damn song for over 20 minutes straight. Everyone is 1 inch away from you so you cant move, cant breathe. Everyone else is having a great time and they keep bumping and jostling you in the gyrations of joy. Your head hurts and you just wanna go home.

If you were in a good mood and you did all of this, then I am sorry for crapping on your day.
I did warn you


  1. Yep, the above pretty much describes my week.

    That is a fabulous and accurate description.

  2. Wow, how very accurate. A harsh and perfect description.


Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.