Wednesday, July 1, 2009

BRAIN and brain what is brain!?!

Last night I was thinking as I am often wont to do.

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The human brain is basically such and such size sitting in a vat of steamy juices in our skulls.
Thoughts, learning and memories are accessed and stored via electrical impulses traveling across the gray matter from A to B. This causes “thinking.”
Now, Lets say that the average working human brain is a 10 in square
(I am just using measurements as a reference, not a guideline so don’t bicker me down over centimeters here.)
So, a 30 year old person, for example, has all this stuff they have learned, know, experienced in their lives all stored in these wrinkles in the brain.
Let’s now say that point A and point B have a 6-inch wrinkle between the two and this is the biggest wrinkle to be had in the brain.
Still awake and following me? OK Just checking.
Therefore, does that mean that if “somehow” a person was able to shrink their brain size down from 10 inches to lets say 5 inches. No damage to it of course, nothing cutout or shrunk in the sun like a sponge. A mystical, magical disneyesque shrink ray is being used.
So if the brain was so much smaller in size but still contained the same mass and the brain still functioned normally then wouldn’t it be “quicker”?
Like the aforementioned, point A to point B. Instead of being a whopping 6 inches, it is now 3 inches. ½ the distance means double the speed (roughly). Sure, we are just talking nanoseconds here, I’m sure but the overall speed would be a significant improvement.
Of course, there would be a small matter of needing to cool of the brain more then it currently is being that it would heat up a lot faster as the electricity bounced back and forth.

I was sitting in the basement petting the dog (that is NOT a euphemism) watching “Dirty Jobs” and this hypothesis floated through my cranium.
Not really sure how I got from Turkey Sperm collecting (which is just freakin gross, Man! They turn the turkey on “hey sexy gobble-gobble” and then suck it out with a strawed apparatus. Doesn’t matter how you use it you are still going to be tasting Turkey Cum)
to Brain Size but such is the curse of me.


  1. Dear Lord! Stop watching Mike Rowe immediately! His fascination with all things "poo" is getting to you.

  2. Congrats! the first LOL of the day.

  3. Cool the smaller brain with turkey cum.


Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.