Friday, June 5, 2009

Boobs and Ears

I was thinking last night about ears and breasts.
(no. that doesn't sound strange at all.)

You know of course that the only reason breasts are taboo is because men don’t have them (well pretty ones like those that women do).
Simple as that.

Decades of “don’t look don’t touch” has ingrained into society that these must be hidden and therefore treated as the holy grail for any male-female relationship. Yes, the old adage is true. You seen one set of breasts you still want to see the next pair.
So in that vein if, by some freak of nature, men did not have let’s say protruding ears. That means women would be covering their ears all the time. Then there would be wearing low-cut earmuffs, buying sexy ear lingerie, not letting men touch their lobes on the first date, getting silicon implants to make their ears more firm and rounder. Why, even a woman with ears that stuck way out would be judged by her ears rather then her mind.

Then again, we wouldn’t have to hear the phrase “My eyes are up here.”

I wonder if you had a newborn child and raised them in a household where everyone was naked in the house except for covering their ears and they were discreetly taught that ears are the “naughty bits.” What would that do to the child once set free upon the world? Walking around marveling at all these floozies walking around with jangly bits hanging off their lobes. That would be down right sinful. Harlots with their ears pierced and hanging out there for all of God and man to see. Have they no shame?

Boy, my kids are lucky I did think of this 10 years ago.

1 comment:

  1. I love it! (Yes, I'm reading the backlog and catching up.) You may have missed the chance with your kids, but I have yet to have any, and now this is in my mind...

    *evil cackle*

    It would actually go pretty well with my plan to, if I do ever have kids, speak to them in English some days and in Spanish other days, so they become bilingual. Man, I'm gonna have the weirdest children...


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