Saturday, June 27, 2009


Ok. everybody needs to blow off steam every now and again. It's only natural. It' so hard though to find willing victims that will stand there and allow you to pummel the crap outta them till you feel that sense of exhaustion from a good hard workout flooding through your body. Here are some ideas I have used throughout the ages that have helped me.

1. Never liked running but when I was a kid I would have slept on my bike if possible. Get on a bike and just pedal until your legs turn to rubber and your breath burns in your chest. Remember though save a little back for he ride home or have plans to call someone to get you. Burning out the anger and helplessness feels great but walking the bike back home with -10 on the energy scale sucks.

2. Make a dummy. I used up some old clothes and packed them tight with rags (newspaper is like eating rice cakes. Filling but not very satisfying.) . Soon my pummel dummy weighed a good 70 lbs. You might feel a little self-conscious at first but once you can build up a good head of steam you can really go Chuck Norris on this bad boy. You will be pulling ninja like moves you didn't even know you had in you. You might even keep some utensils (bats,knives, porcupines,etc.) around for those days you feel exceptionally violent. Soon you will be wondering who doing all the screaming and realize it's coming outta you.

3. Make a break corner: Maybe a small niche with no carpet or if you have the space a whole room would be wonderful. Go to some yard/garage sales and pick up some cheap glass and porcelain objects and a couple of cheap bats. Use said bats to smash the shit outta the cheap garage sale items. I recommend wearing goggles for this s they may not be fashionable but most people cant pull of the 1 eyed pirate look either. I personally have a old toilet held back for an exceptionally bad day. Once again, you might feel silly at first but once that primitive veil drops across your thinking brain you will end up going balls to the walls on that shit.

4. Shooting the crap outta shit. This takes some restraint once you have a loaded weapon in your hands so if the thing that is causing you stress is near I would go with a BB gun and pressurized cans. Buy some cheap soda and shake it up and then just shoot it with a pellet gun.If you have the means a watermelon and a shotgun makes a beautiful combination (it's almost art.) Myself I don't like killing anything unless it is in defense of my house (I will leave a spider alone outside but I will smash the crap outta it in my house) but if you don't have those issues then take a .22 and go to the junk yard at dusk and shoot some rats.

5. Throw a shit fit: Again, could take some "getting into the moment" but once you are in just let it all out. Throw the biggest hissy fit you can muster. Think back to all the kids you have seen at the market who haven't got their way. Throw yourself at the ground and scream,cry,cuss,babble,thrash about and just generally death blossom*.

Anyway hope some of this helps you as much as its has helped me.

PS: I also just wanted to say I read EVERY comment that is made on here and appreciate an value each and every one of you. When you comment I get it on my phone and no matter where I am or doing it always brings a smile to my face. Thank you.

*Movie from the 80's called 'The Last StarFighter" It was the name of their ships last resort weaponry. Basically it made the ship spin on both the vertical and horizontal axis and just randomly shot all weaponry out with no specific target.


  1. I've done #5 a couple times recently. I'm really likin' that dummy idea. It might keep the homicidal urges in check. *off to find old clothes*

  2. Personally I'm all about the BB gun. I use it on crows, the obnoxious little fucks.


Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.