A day in the life

This past Saturday the family unit split up for the day.
The wife and girl units went to World’s of Fun for the day on a band trip while the boy and I spent the day together.

Beast and I had a great day together. We went to my work (where we had to walk a mile to get from parking to building due to this River Fest thing that happens each year)*
We didn’t spend too much time at work as I had to journey off to my mother’s so I could watch my nephew’s wedding over the internet. They were married in Vegas on Saturday afternoon. Thanks to my sister, I found out that 2pm in Vegas is 4pm in Kansas (DUH!). So goofed off some and helped her get her pumps running in her basement. Major water damage each time it rains. Really, SUCKS and it’s COLD. You would think this global warming would make the rain a bit more tepid.
Wedding went ok from what we saw (couldn’t get any sound outta it) but it was kinda cool. Especially texting my sister while watching her.
Reminded me of that Drew Carey episode where Mimi ships him to China and he calls and tells Oswald that it is the next day there.
“Quick! What are the lottery numbers?” Oswald replies.
“It’s a different timezone, not the future you idiot.” Is the reply.
Just thinking of that cracks me up. (I can be easily amused)

Anyway.

Took Mom and Beast to go see Wolverine for Mother’s Day (My mom loves movies so it makes it pretty easy on me for mother’s day and birthdays).
I fully recommend the flick. Hell, I want to see it again!
After our long day, together Beast and I grabbed some Mickey D’s and lay in bed watching cartoons together before crashing.
Good times, good times

I guess the World’s of Fun trip went ok. All that was relayed to me was
On the way, back they stopped off at a rest stop. No a gas station or anything nice like that. Just the stalls and the porcelain pots to pee into. Not much, better then a wood outhouse except no splinters in the delicate regions.
Wildcat told me that the handicap stall was locked and a big sign that said out of order. In lumbers this glandular beast from their group who then proceed to lie down on the floor and slide, belly down, under the door.
Let me repeat that.
This girl LIES DOWN ON THE FLOOR IN A HIGHWAY REST STOP BATHROOM!!
She then proceeds to sllliiddee her bulky body face down across this grimy, filthy, used to be white and is now anything but floor, into the stall to see why it is out of order. Satisfactory pleased that it is indeed broken and the plumbing experience of a 13 year old cannot repair the situation, she then proceeds to sslllliiidde back out from the stall.

EWWW!

Someone should have called the CDC to come and decontaminate this girl, immediately. Quickly bathing her in Lysol and penicillin based paste may have helped her from the future birth of a child reminiscent of Jeff Goldblum from "The Fly".
I know grown men who have squealed like little girls if they have to pick something up off the floor with forceps and barbecue tongs in these places, must less do a full body slide across the bacterial colony.
*SHUDDER*
I am not a germaphobe by any means but UGH!

I need a shower.






*Oh and my boss at work has a band and they opened for Loverboy at the festival. Kinda cool!

BE all that you can.

This video is for all those times when we were told as kids or we have told our kids that you can do and be ANYTHING you want to be.
These people did not wake up one morning just able to do this.

Watch Everything is Possible and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

WORD UP

Check this out.
I would like to buy the whole Windows suite but hey I have so many better uses for $500 bucks.
Anyway, check this out! Use the web version of Word, Excel and the lot.
or, just use Sun's version for all offline use.

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Dinnah is soived

freaky food fun: Insert dried spaghetti into hot dogs, then boil

"I wanted to point out to you that some people on LiveJournal came up with an idea of inserting dry spaghetti into hot dogs, then boiling it, and coming out with amusing culinary constructs that kids seem to love."

Dont bother clicking the imbedded links though unless you can speak Russian/Slavik?whatever that is.

One of my quirks

Have you ever over-analyzed a movie?
My mom and I do it all the time. It’s kinda “our thing”
Basically theorizing about what happened, and when this occurred and why so and so did what.
I love doing that.
Another thing I do is try to figure out what could have been done better or different for a given situation.
For instance: Titanic. If I were alone and on the Titanic (and not stuck below decks) more then likely I would have created a raft of my own using a door (or to be more precise, a BIG OL’ door)
Then probably have fashioned an oar or two using some badminton rackets and pillowcases.
It may not work but it sure beats just jumping into the ocean and hoping for the best.
Anyway
What about the Zombie apocalypse? I have put a lot of brain time into this thought because it’s like watching your own movie starring you.


I am not going to bore you with ALL the small details but basically, it would boil down to getting my family to our local Wal-Mart as quickly as possible and commandeering it.
Why?
Well it is rather large so there would be some issue with parameter security but if you could get it secure, it would be the perfect place to hole up and wait it out for a few months.
I hope that I would have some friends and relatives along for help (I am afraid I would lose my Mother and father in law as they live like 1 block from a cemetery. I am afraid they would be a lost cause unless something fortuitous happened.)
Now it depends on what is going on at the local 24 hour Wal-Mart but more then likely, I would get the family in and on the roof as quickly as possible.
Then I would go about organizing the refugees inside to securing the doors and other portals. Especially making note to shutting off those automatic door openers. With those on might as well put a sign outside that says “Buffett”
Since the main entrance is glass, the best resource to use would be to stack the shopping carts up to make a strong yet convoluted barrier.
Once the boundaries are set it would be rather easy to wait the apocalypse out. You have food, water, weapons, heat, warmth and all kinds of accessories.
Enough of everything to last a small army for 2 months at least, 4 if you rationed and 6 if you count all the stupids who decide that Aunt Mabel cant be a Zombie, she is just acting like one as a lark. Those are the ones that you have to really watch for and put them down before they kill us all.
That is why you always have a backup plan, which would be to have a small reserve of supplies up on the roof, just in case the undead get inside.

Yeah, I have thought about this a bit and I did say I wouldn’t share ALL the small details. I kept my word too. I know this is a huge post (and probably dead ass boring to some.) but I like watching movies in my head.

May the Force be with you.

May 5th is tomorrow (Cinco de mayo), but in case you don't already know, TODAY is National Star Wars Day. Since this is my 100th blog on here let me be the first to say, "May the 4th be with you!" The following are some ways we can all celebrate this most sacred of days: I have to admit some of these are mine directly and some are recommended from elsewhere.


1. Watch Star Wars. Any one or all six will make for a great Star Wars Day! If you are one of those sad people who has lived a sheltered little life and never once seen Star Wars, make it your goal to at least watch one of the six films! If there is one of the movies you dislike more than the rest, watch that one first. It may be that you just don't give it much of a chance to impress you.
2. Tell someone that, "the Force will be with them...always."
3. Become a Jedi, like your father before you.
4. Use at least 3 quotes form the saga in your daily routine. For example, "I have a bad feeling about this" or, "Laugh it up, Fuzzball" or, "You stuck up, half witted, scruffy looking, Nerf herder."(a personal favorite.)
5. Go to www.starwars.com and read one databank entry about a character you know nothing about.
6. Do or do not, there is no try.
7. Hold a discussion with someone about Star Wars. Maybe about something in the movies that just doesn't make sense to you, or that they need clarification on.
8. Join Hyperspace, the official Star Wars fan club.
9. Destroy a Death Star. Twice.
10. Use the Force to open the door at the grocery store, elevator or any other automatic device. (I do this on a daily basis; it’s a small fun one can have by themselves.)
11. Hold a toy Lightsaber duel with someone. Make LOTS of
12. Give birth to twins and name them Luke and Leia.
13. Learn to speak Huttese.
14. Jump in the passenger seat and exclaim “Punch it Chewie!”
15. Execute Order 66. (but GENTLEY)
16. Buy a Star Wars action figure.
17. Build your own Protocol droid.
18. Give your sister a passionate kiss on the mouth (ok, maybe not the best way to celebrate). 19. Read a Star Wars novel
20. Tell someone you “thought they smelled bad on the outside.” (kinda rude so make sure you are quicker or stronger then them and I don’t mean in the Force either)
21. See how many incredible smells you can discover.
22. Give in to your anger.
23. Get trained in the Jedi arts by Count Dooku.
24. Get your arm, hand or torso cut off.
25. At the drive through exclaim “Red 5 standing by!”
26. Try to sell someone Deathsticks then go home and rethink your life.
27. Talk like Yoda without getting caught, you must.
28. Let the Wookie win.
29. Write a Star Wars blog.
30. Buy something from starwarsshop.com.
31. Free a slave by cheating a Toydarian.
32. Think of the metal bikini or if so inclined WEAR the metal bikini.
33. Whistle the Cantina song incessantly. Mention how “it could be worse.”
34. Add all these Star Wars words to your spell check dictionary.
35. HAVE FUN!!! This one is the most important.

These are just some ideas on how to Celebrate National Star Wars Day. Feel free to participate any way you see fit, but make sure you remember Star Wars TODAY! and, May the 4th be with you!

MJ

Have ya’all heard of that singer Michael Jackson?

Well maybe you also heard that he had a ranch called Neverland?

Moreover, that he is in really bad financial problems right now.

(I guess there was “issues” about be a pedophile or something.)

Anyway

THIS is what happens when you have all the money in the world, no one to tell you “NO”

Or

“Think about it first”

Or

“Are you sure?’

Or

“Holy god! Are you cracked?”

If Elvis were alive today he would say this guy "over does it a bit."

Think of all the sequins that now allowed to run wild and free without his constant hunting of them in their natural habitat.

Vegas.

Michael Jackson's weirdest detritus, a photoset

Wil Wheaton sez, "Paul Sheer's photos of his favorite items from the Michael Jackson auction are amusing, puzzling, hilarious, surreal, disturbing, and have that "horrific car crash that I can't look away from" quality that we've come to expect from anything associated with Michael Jackson."