Friday, July 9, 2010

Last moments

Good day, sunshine!

Glad you decided to wake up.

What is one of the first things a person does when the electricity goes out? During the day that is. Well dusky, I would say.

They walk out the front door. Why? To see if everyone or anyone else is having the same issue, of course.

People outside “see things” and we cant have that now can we?


Question: how does one keep people in their house?

Answer: By creating a power outage each week at the same time for the same amount of time.

People get used to it.

Really, people can get used to just about anything these days.

Not too much time where the power company is called but enough for me to slip in via your back door.

Oh did I mention I already have a key to your Brinks deadbolt, model 94203-8?

Not dealing with an amateur here.

Oh I know what you are thinking,everyone watches those stupid cop shows now days.

CSI, NCIS, blah blah blah

hoopla and trite condescending poppycock.

The cops are not nearly THAT good or THAT well funded.

But to be sure and I am sure you will enjoy this, I have spread about your house, quite liberally I am afraid, the hair and follicles of OH! I would say of over at least 30 to 50 different people.

I have also including various unnatural fibers, cats, racoons and I think it was a fox.

Truly it was disgusting and mutilated. Could have been just a dog.

It's just amazing how much hair a barber shop can cut.

Truly there has to be a better way to use the stuff, but I digress.

NONOnono dont pass out on me now.

That's better.

Oh I see you have noticed the camera.

Yes, my client demands proof and what better proof the actually watching the shot from the guns point of view?

Besides I just love pausing it right as the muzzle flare starts to fade and I. Can. Just. Make out the persons face in the afterglow. It's really quite beautiful. It's like I can see their soul leaving their body.

I thought of duck taping it on but that is just so redneck.

Velcro straps work divine.

OK well, it's just about time here.

Got to stay punctual.

Oh I must say that I do love your Oriental rug in the master bedroom! Do you mind if I have that when I leave? No? Yes? Oh we will just let it stay. It really pulls the room together!

OK we are live... HA! I love irony.

OK live in




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Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.