Another of those "what about you" Emails

Greetings and salutations on this cold windy monday.
OK enough niceties now to the bone a gristle.
I received in one of those "answer these questions" emails and as i am a lazy cuss anyway, thought I would post my answers up here as well. I edited some of them out but don't worry, they were just the one's that had to do with the email. All the juicy goodness that is me is still intact.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
No

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
When my dad died

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Not really

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Salami

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
2 – My intelligent and beautiful daughter
My cute and soulful son

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Oh hell no!! I suck!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT
It’s a second language to me.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
YUP

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Sure.

10. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No

11. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically? Not as I used to be.

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM
Vanilla Bean

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Mouth

14. RED or PINK?
RED

15. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU?
Not enough room here for everything but let’s go with my back.


16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My friends and My dad

18. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
White

19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Taco

20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The people in the next cube

21. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Pewter

22. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Baking bread, Green Apples, a woman…

23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Some guy in Mississippi

25. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Do arguments count?

26. Hair Color?
Dark Brown with some salt

27. EYE COLOR?
Dark Brown

28. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Used to but No

29. FAVORITE FOOD?
Desserts

30. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
SCARY MOVIES

31. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
American Psycho II

32. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Dk. Blue

33. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Neither… Spring and Fall

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hot wet kisses that last for days

34. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Sweet Potato Pie

35. I AM SCARED OF…
Nothing. Apprehensive, sure. Scared, NO (well maybe clowns)

36. FAVORITE ACTOR OR ACTRESS
Bruce Campbell

37. DO YOU TWEET OR BLOG?
I do both

38. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Duma Key, The good guy, Book IV of gunslinger series

39. What is on your mouse pad?
I have no mouse pad. Optical Baby!

40. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
30rock

41. FAVORITE SOUND?
My kids giggling

42. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
STONES

43. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME???
Which home? What Year? Orlando, Florida I guess

44. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can “sense” where it would feel the best to rub on a person’s back

45. Where were you born?
Cheyenne, Wyoming

Rock and Freakin Roll

I had a neuron misfire and a memory came flooding back

I went to a concert here in Wichita with my best buds Blake and Buffy and some others. It was Pantera and Type O and we went in knowing it was going to be a rough crowd (well not the kind of crowd you would find at a Barbara Streisand concert.)
Anyway, the night started off on the rocky side for me to begin with, (women issues) so by the time we go to the coliseum I felt this mood fall over me (and I was as sober as a judge, too). Can’t quite describe it really but it was a rather self-destructive feeling and I grew rather quiet. My friends said that I had a “scary” look in my eye. I don't know. I do remember that stuff sounded under waterish.
Whatever…
Before the concert started, some jack-hole tried to steal my sunglasses. He made it 1 foot past me before I was tapping on the back of his head. He just smiled and sheepishly handed them back.
OK concert comes up and Type o is awesome. Great show! Loved it. It ended way too soon.
Pantera comes out and their sauce is weak! During their set, they had the front stage mosh pit that was going rather strong. If you have never been in a mosh pit or haven't seen one let me briefly describe it. There are two circles, 1 inside of the other going in opposite directions. The object of this dance is to bump into each other as hard as possible.
Stupid. (and yes I have done it, doesn’t change the fact its stupid.)
However, there were these whirlpool Mosh Eddies that would float across the coliseum floor as well. A fresh mosh pit would open up at random, move across the floor for a few feet and then disperse. I'll bet it looked really cool from the rafters. Like watching a tide pool of human bodies.
Well Blake, Buffy and I were standing there on the floor watching a couple of these whirlpools of flesh open up when it finally dawned on me. Given where we were on the floor and the proximity of the last couple pits.... I glanced behind us just in time to see our pit open and float toward us. I had just enough time to tell Blake to “MOVE!” and gave him a shove. Blake didn't even think twice about it, reacting on instinct, he braced himself as best he could (and Blake is no small guy either) and protected Buffy with his body. He held his ground as they both watched in horror as I was swept away. They both said later that Buffy even had to grab Blake to keep him from being swept away but one second I was there and the next I was just gone!

So, that was it. I was now caught up in the mosh pit and it was moving so fast, I could not get out. I have been in my share of pits before so I knew what to expect but tonight was not the night for this. I knew that if I went down it was going to hurt. I needed to get OUT. I knew which direction I wanted to go and I started acting before I even realized I had a plan. I shoulder hit one guy as he came by and at the same time, I stuck my combat boot out and tripped him. This caused him to fall, not very gracefully, but enough so that it slowed the other people coming toward me.
I then grabbed the guy going past me by the back of his shirt collar and shoved him in the direction I wanted to go. His momentum helped as he went stumbling and flaying toward the stadium wall. Ah the wall. I knew it had to be there somewhere.
I then stepped on and over the guy on the floor as I followed my human battering ram through the crowd to the wall. Once at the wall, I leap for the railing and with a jump and a grunt, I was able to climb up on the wall. Squinting into the dark into the sea of black T-shirts and flashing lights, I watched and watched until I found Blake and Buffy again. By this time the mosh eddy had dispersed completely and I was able to wade my way into the sea once again until I found my friends.

That is pretty much the only thing I remember from the whole concert.

Temper, Temper

I was just thinking on the way home about the horrible temper I used to have. It peaks its ugly face out now and then but for the most part, it is confined (sometimes actively).
When I was but a lad, I did not know how to control it. One time after church a friend of my mom's grabbed me and threw me over her knee (just playing around of course) I have been told that I started kicking and screaming something fierce. It got to the point that by the time my mother made it there she had to tell the woman to go ahead and let go and then move quickly away. She had to shake me a bit until I was able to focus again. I was not just mad. I WAS RAGE.
Actually now that I think about it, once I started smoking it really helped me get a handle on this problem. With this beast inside me, I have shattered clipboards against walls, leapt into the air just to dent a metal slide with a punch and there are others but honestly, I cannot really recall them. The world literally goes red for me and I am gone. It's really rather scary.
One time when I was like, 19 or so I was out and about with two of my friends (Smith and Jones) and a tag along buddy Scotty. Scotty and I were in the back seat and I was wearing my trademark leather fringe jacket. Scotty had decided that it would be funny to tie this golf pencil into one of the leather strips on my jacket. I asked him nicely not to do this. I asked him many times. I warned him even “don't do this”. Finally, he was done and quite pleased with his work.
I was mad.
I then spent the next 15 minutes trying to untie this pencil from my coat (getting madder and madder as the time progressed). Once done, and I remember this vividly, I smiled at Scotty. He smiled back and giggled. I smiled back and held the pencil up as if to say “looky!” He giggled again. I then spun the pencil in my fingers and slammed it point down into his thigh. Calamity ensued and that was the end of that. Scotty moved over as far as he could from me and nursed his injured leg.
Later I had learned that a discussion had taken place up front about the incident, about who would have one in an actual fight. Jones mentioned to Smith “ZomB ought to be more careful! Scotty's a lot bigger then him and he wrestles, so he's got all that muscle” to which Smith replied “Yeah, true! Scotty has some meat on him but ZomB's crazy. Nothing short of knocking him out is gonna stop him and more then likely he would have tried to kill him.”
Jones thought about it a bit and agreed.

Why do I remember this so vividly? I keep it fresh in my head to remind myself of where I can go and where I don't want to go. Proud of it? No. Why would I be? Luckily, now days I have mellowed due to time, age, the aforementioned smoking, and my temper rarely rears its head.

Look for the Union Label

Unions

Oyi don’t get me started on the unions.
Too late!

Hate’em, Hate’em, Hate’em

Oh don’t get me wrong completely I KNOW that the unions had their place at one time. They made for a better working environment, conditions and pay for the blue collar worker. They made GREAT strides to making the workplace what it is today.
However, that time has passed…
Businesses now realize and know that it is not cost effective to toss out employees and keep replacing them. The training alone is expensive not to mention the cost of bringing a new person up to speed and keep production levels high. No, nowadays an employer knows that it costs less to keep an employee happy and employed then it does to “use ‘em up and throw them away”.
So why do we still have unions?
Because people have found out, they can make a living working FOR the union. Therefore, to keep themselves gainfully employed they keep the antiquated aspect of a union perpetuated through fear and intimidation.
I have worked in the airline industry and have experienced a union shop first hand.
I witnessed how a person would be promoted, not by how good they were at their job but by how long they had been doing their job.
I witnessed how a person could not get ahead in the company until everyone who was hired before them either retired or died.
I witnessed how if you were X and there was a part in a box you needed you had to wait for Y to receive it, J to inspect it, W to stock it and DD to go to the shelf and get it for you.
I witnessed how a person with seniority could come in and spend the first couple of hours of their shift reading the newspaper or gabbing while the “new hires” did all the work. If someone said anything about it, they would have a grievance filed against them.
I was actually taken aside at one point by the Union Steward in my shop and told that I was working to fast and hard and making other people look bad. I needed to slow down since “we all get paid the same, no matter if the job gets done or not.”
I was flabbergasted!
Stunned even.
I couldn’t make sense of it!
I asked him
“So you want me to do a poorer job because other people are too lazy to do a better job?” He just stood there and crossed his arms and glared at me.
I laughed in his face.
“HA” I said
“I have 2 speeds. Go and stop and if my go is faster then someone else’s then they have the issue not I.”
I then shook my head and chuckled to myself
and went back to doing my job.

Yeah, not being a fan of the unions in a industry ran city that breathes ( or breeds, whichever) unions is not a safe or reasonable position to take.

I still hate'em though.

Hate’em, Hate’em, Hate’em

My Cast of Characters

Who lives in your head?
Everyone has various persona and personalities that govern how they handle various situations. I believe it was Freud who named them the ID, Ego and Superego. Well that’s just boring, so mine have actual full on personalities.
First off lets set the stage.
My higher function arena is best pictured as a huge rotunda, very nice indeed. All marble floor and polished woods and shiny brass. Looking up there are levels and levels of doors and bookshelves that hold all my memories. Just goes up and up and up. Some doors are so high you cant even see them (distant memories),Some doors have chains and locks, some doors are obviously well used.
In the middle of the floor is a large mahogany and gold (very ornate) table,Here is where the board of director's sit and make council.

The Board of Directors are as such:

ZomBee: This is the main man. The “me” in charge that everyone sees each day. He collects the information from everyone else. The CEO and owner of the company as it were.

Mr. ZomBee : (You have to say it like Agent Smith from the Matrix) This is the cold calculating logical side. All businessman. Picture him wearing pinstripe suit and power tie. Not a smile to be had from this bloke, just the facts.

Joker: Straw hat, Hawaiian shirt, thongs and shorts. Looks like a beach bum and is in his young 20’s. This is the party guy. The funny guy, the smart ass. The wild child and the impulsive man. For Dave it’s all about the joy and not a single consequence.

Jacky: This is the young 8 or 9-year-old child. Petulant at times, sure but views the world with wonder and awe and everything is “COOL!!”

Shadowman: Hokey name I know but this is my dark side. This is the guy that is made of cold steel. Anything that is undesirable that needs being done this guy takes care of. Picture him dressed like Hugh Jackman’s VanHelsing character. Cool dude who takes care of business. Everyone has their place but they each will take orders from him when he is on the job.

Dishc: This is the romantic, the hopeless romantic. He is the one who flips all the heart switches with abandon. He has not a care in the world just the need to obtain the love and attention of all those around. He is routinely beat about the head and shoulders by Shadowman.

RAGE : This is the caged beast of all things bad. All the base emotions (Hate, jealously, love, self-loathing, etc) squished into one slobbering maniacal beast. All the pent up emotions and frustrations and feelings are fed to Rage each day...with a very long pole.


There are certainly other vice presidents and such but these guys run the show, They are my board of directors and each has a say when needed. Sometimes one will step in and take over when David requests a full on assist rather then just relaying the context of a situation.
I know, why go through all this trouble to visualize and create such persona with such detail? Well for one, I have found it easier to shut my brain down for sleep. I just picture Shadowman herding a slew of memories into an open door and shutting it behind them then making sure everyone else is off for lights out. If I wanna shut down any reservations and just have fun, I will bring Joker up on deck. By visualizing my persona characters it makes them more accessible to my needs.

Then again I could also just be a nut-ball, I don’t know.
However
“ In a world gone mad the nut-ball is the sane one."

To beat a dead Horse

Please excuse the mess and some double-ups, I am condensing various other spots into this one. If you have read some of these before, then it’s corn. Just enjoy it a second time. Anyway, while I was talking to Hollywood I thought I might throw them a freebie
------------------------------------------------
BFC II10
The Breakfast Club 2010
This is a movie I would like to see but I am also a sucker for a good cameo. This would be the breakfast club the next generation movie. Yeah I know the originals are old enough to be grandparents now but go with me.
The same archetypes of school kids except now the offspring are the opposites of what their parents were…
The Brain made lots of money so he his daughter is a Princess
The Jock wanted a son but got a daughter so she is Neurotic
The Delinquent’s son is the new Brain
The Princess had a life of leisure so her son’s a Delinquent
The Neurotic ended up going all holistic and health nutty and her son is the Jock

Make it the same movie but instead of being against 1 anal teacher, they rebel against the whole school. Making it more like a Ferris Bueller’s day off meets the Breakfast Club (yeah and name the principle Mr. F. Bueller). Wackiness ensues and through the movie the kids learn about themselves and each other (just like in the 1st movie). Then at the end their parents come and bail them out of a tight situation and that’s when we discover that the original Breakfast Club is their parents.

Told you I was sucker for a good cameo.
It would be a lil cheesy though if you could get Ringwald, Hall, Estevez, Sheedy and Nelson back to play the parents but pretty damn cool.

HollyWood if she Could

Hollywood, what are we going to do with you? Are you truly that desperate for fresh and new ideas that you have to rehash some truly spectacular flicks?
I love Will Smith but come on!! Redoing the Karate Kid?
The Thing? Come ON!! Kurt Russell knocked that movie outta the park!
What is next? Gone with the Wind but set in the Gulf War?
A completely animated Casablanca?
I know, The Maltese Falcon but with KIDS!!
It’s a Wonderful Life but at Valentine’s Day.
North by Northwest with Vin Diesel as a homicidal lawyer with a debt to pay.

Some things should not be touched. They stand the test of time and are still just superb movies. Leave them alone!
Hollywood you get millions and millions of scripts a day, thousand of out of work writers and actors just dying for their big break. Start buying up these scripts for pennies on the dollar and having some script doctors smushing them together. You could get some excellent stuff.
OK here’s one to whet your appetite
Ya listening? I have your next big blockbuster with minimal budget. The idea is worth millions and it’ll only cost you 3 things
1. $125,000 up front and $125,000 on the back end. For that, I will sign over all rights.
2. A SUV and a sedan. Something in the 2007/08 year is fine. Saturn’s are ok but you can show your love and appreciation with a Lincoln.
3. A bit part in the flick. No talking necessary but it would be nice. Need a family of 4 for background noise? I gotcha covered.

Picture this….
Take Harold and Kumar go to white castle
Add to it Get Shorty
With just a dash of Jay and Silent Bob strike back
and sprinkles of….. Not gonna tell
Sound interesting? Want to know more?
Tough
Get your own ideas. Mine cost cold hard cash.