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Dreamweaver

I am rather new to this whole blogging thing but overall I believe that ya gotta be original. However from time to time ya'all are gonna have to bear with me as I include things that catch my fancy.

For instance:
I think everyone has always had the daydream where all the stars aligned right for them and the most stupendous thing that could ever happen, happens. Shoot Hollywood has made millions and billions off that very notion.
Well just in case Mr. Gates or the ghost of Howard Hughes or some wealthy benefactor just happens to be in a generous mood and just happens to be wandering through the this corner of the internet.
This is my Dream Home ( not house : A house is a structure. Home: home is where you are happiest.)

Cave house for sale in Festus, MO Posted: 20 Feb 2009 06:23 AM CST $300,000 is the starting bid on this eBay listing for a three-bedroom home built in a 15,000 sqft cave in Festus, MO, formerly a concert venue that entertained the MC5, Ike and Tina Turner and Ted Nugent. Sounds like a hell of a place to live (and you gotta feel for the family that's losing their dream). It's got three freshwater springs and there are fourteen waterfalls on the property. Yowza. On May 19th, 2008, the City of Festus approved our occupancy inspection for the cave. Officially, this completed our project. There are still projects that can be started, completed and developed. Plenty of room in our 17,000 square foot home. This is now where we live, work, raise our family and celebrate life! Here are a few of the details about the place: Historic, regionally famous cave: 15,000 square feet, divided into three main chambers. The front chamber houses the main part of the 3-bedroom finished house. The middle chamber holds the laundry room, storage, and a spare bath. The middle chamber made a great party room. 80 feet by 80 feet. The back chamber still has the stage where Ted Nugent, Bob Seger, Ike and Tina Turner, the MC5 and many other bands performed. Property: 2.8 scenic, partially wooded acres provide excellent privacy and the feel of the country right in the middle of town, just several blocks from shopping, dining, and other conveniences. Energy efficiency: Geothermal and passive solar keep the home comfortable year-round without a furnace or air conditioning. In spite of the vast size of the home, our energy costs here run about the same as they did in our 800 square-foot starter home. The home naturally stays a little cooler than the average above-ground home, but we found that we acclimated quickly and easily. Unique Cave Home over 15,000 sf. Beautiful setting Caveland US (Thanks Fipi Lele!)

Oh and all praise and thanks goes to Boing-Boing for the article: visit them they are awesome

"I'll take that bet, you're gonna regret, cause I'm the best that's ever been."

Man, 28, Dies After 'Guzzling' Viagra During 12-Hour Romp

A Russian man died after guzzling a bottle of Viagra to keep him going for a 12-hour orgy with two female pals.

The women had bet mechanic Sergey Tuganov $4,300 that he wouldn’t be able to follow through with the half-day sex marathon.

But minutes after winning the bet, the 28-year-old died of a heart attack, Moscow police said.

“We called emergency services but it was too late, there was nothing they could do,” said one of the female participants who identified herself only as Alina.

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I had a whole 'nother post in mind this morning after waking from the oddest dream (JayCee Leigh and I were living in the 3's company apartment (platonic) and she was the press secretary for a newly recreated and darker Michael Jackson.)

I don't make them, people, I just dream them.

Anyway, I ran across this and my first thought was "Good Bet".I don't know if I would have tried THAT hard though, the 2 girls have to bring something to the table as well.

FAIL

Maybe this was at the OJ trial? Not sure but really don't think so.



OR just ask me.



I don't know, nothing really beats fresh from the spigot.


"Mommy, where do babies come from?"
"Well dear, there is a Ginormous Elephant in Iowa. Each week they cram a HUGE oil funnel up it's ass and it craps out little bundles of joy."

yeah.. I kinda like the stork story better.


see more pwn and owned pictures

INVASION!

I have a dear friend who is currently being harassed by a crazy psycho guy via texting. Of course, naturally, I want to grab a couple of goons I know and go “break” the news to this guy. In my youth this would have already happened (Hell, I took out my ex-brother-in-law while on the clock at work when I was 17.) but now days everything is all legalized and sanitized.
You just cant go hunt a person down and play pin the tail on the dirtbag with a nail gun anymore. The good ol’ days where someone got a beat down for their birthday and the situation was resolved is long gone. *sniff*

Made me start think of celebrities and the paparazzi.

GOD! How do they take it?
I know that some celebrities encourage it *coughpariscough*
Come on! Seriously?! I pick my nose and scratch my ass, as I am sure each person in the world has done at one time or another. (Usually not at the same time, though)
I certainly wouldn’t want my own personal gold mining expedition trying to pull my tighty-whities outta my nether regions on the cover of People.
Or have a headline in the rags reading “ ZOMBEE farts – How will the effect his current position.” “Oprah sends charity money to investigate fart research in Zombee’s name.”

I do not CARE if George Clooney knows how to cross the street on green.
I do not CARE if Brad Pitt is slurping a mochachino.
I do not CARE if Jennifer Aniston is wearing a blue tank-top to Starbucks.
I DO CARE if Angelina Jolie is eating a banana (but that’s different.)

The there are the orc hoards that fall upon these people as they just try and run through their mundane lives with their children. I agree with wassherface, Julia Roberts. Leave the poor kids alone. Keep them out of the shot.
Show some class here.
Ok so you get an extra 200 bucks if you can get a picture of Britney holding her kid upside down.

Good for you!

Now that kid has a picture of his mom he can marvel over when he is in Promises freaking out because NO ONE EVER LEFT HIM ALONE.

But that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.

I am MIDDLE-MAN dun dun duh

A week ago, Princess High and Mighty went out and got herself grounded. Not a rare occurrence but hey, she lied to Wildcat so she is punished. Eazy-peazy. The way things work at our cave is the person who creates the punishment is the one who controls the punishment.
I am (not by nature but by choice) as honest as I can possibly be. I can, however, appreciate the construction and execution of a well-crafted lie. I will trust you but if you lie to me and expect me to be an idiot about it, then you will get the punishment you deserve.
Anyway – off topic (mind keeps wandering away)
PHM was grounded and told she could not go to “THE DANCE.” She was cool with that because her current “BF” had been suspended so she had no date.
Last night marked the end of her grounding and all of the sudden, yup you guessed it gentle readers, she wanted to go to “THE DANCE”. So I am now used as the middleman as both PHM and Wildcat are incapable of discussing things between each other without both tooth and nail coming out.
PHM texts and calls me (at work) to convince Wildcat to let her go. I, doing my job as part of the parent team, back up Wildcats decision. PHM pleads her case well to me and that her mom isn’t listening to her. I explain to her that she needs to cool her jets, explain the same things to her mom, not me and actually listen to the responses.
I then call Wildcat and get her side of the story. I explain to her that she needs to cool her jets, explain the same things to her daughter, not me and actually listen to the responses.
Back and forth, forth and back it goes like this for about an hour.
Drama, tears, anger, all kinds of emotions are thrown at me across the phone lines. I am bobbing, weaving, deflecting and dodging them like a talk-show ninja.
Just as the smoke starts to clear and I am getting nice and settled in for a refreshing vegetative state, I get one more call. It’s PHM saying that her and Wildcat had talked and she is going to “THE DANCE” and I need to come and get her.

Yes. That’s right! PHM and Wildcat were calling me yet they WERE AT THE SAME PLACE! I was at home and they were both at the In-laws house. Now I had to go to this place and retrieve my daughter and take her to a friends cave to get ready for this dance.

There is no good way to end this epic tale as this is not a rare experience but an ongoing occurrence.
Remind me to tell you about the bowl of cheese.

Just pondering some heavy stuff.

Eden and the Bible

First off, let us start with Eden. Now, I do not have my Bible right here in front of me but from memory, Adam and Eve had Cain and Abel in the Garden of Eden. Cain became the very first serial killer by killing of 25% of the population so God told him to hit the bricks. Cain was then sent to the land of Nod where he found a wife.
Who says that Eden was on Earth? Let us say that Eden was on Mars or was Mars and Nod was what Earth is. Then when Cain came to Earth, he found…what? What could he possibly find on the planet that was close enough to his species to call “wife”?
This is where Theology and science come together.
I believe that Cain is that missing link that everyone has been talking about all these years. He is the mitigating factor that bridges the gap in primitive man.
Cain hit the planet, found a chick and they started to breed. Then along came Mom and Dad and wasn’t there a Seth too? They were eventually booted out too and started breeding themselves. This, as an aside, really shows how stupid and selfish humans are as a species even from the start.
This explains the science we have found (dinosaurs, homoerectus, cave paintings, etc.) and coincides with what the Bible says too.
So why all the arguing? I know I cannot be the first person or the last to think of this.

This leads me right into my second point, the Holy Bible. Humans are a selfish, ignorant, self-serving, parasitic species (as a whole). It has been written in ancient history that the Holy Bible, while divinely inspired, was assembled and translated by man.
That means…
Man chose which books to be included and which to be excluded. Other books and gospels were available to be included. However, man chose the ones they liked the best, which fit together the best into their ideas of this book and excluded the rest. Some were preserved by people thinking, no, knowing that this information was crucial and should not be lost to the ages. Hence, the Dead Sea scrolls.
Kings and Popes oversaw all the transcribing from the ancient languages into the Latin that was used by the church. So picture this, here sits a King reading a passage and he comes across a section that he does not like. Maybe it gives too much hope to the people; maybe it conflicts with something he has done in his life, whatever. Therefore, he tells the Pope and the Pope tells the monks to rewrite it.
And they do.
Now I know you are going to say, but Zombee what about the Pope having more power then the Kings at that time? Besides, the church would not allow something like that to happen.
Well, I would respond with, THE CHURCH USED TO SELL THE EXTRA “GOODNESS” THAT SAINTS HAD CREATED. That’s right! They did. They figured that a Saint was so saintly and good and they had done so much good in their life that they had to have leftovers. They would then sell these slips of paper to the common folk as a “get out of Hell free” card. The papers (I forgot their name) were for sins not yet created by the person who bought it.
Maybe you didn’t hear me,
The Holy Church, ran by the Pope (duh) would sell forgiveness to people in advance of the sin. It was this very thing that sent ol’ Marty Luther over the edge and created the reformation and established the Lutheran church and the Protestant belief.
Now, that is just one example of the church over extending their boundaries. Don’t you think there would be more? Don’t you think that they would not think twice about dropping a sentence here or reforming an idea there while writing the Bible?

OK one more argument. You could take the stance that God would not allow the Bible to be changed into something he did not want it to be. Well, I do agree with that point. However, then you have to think of the free will that God has given us to make our own decisions.
I think he may have looked down, saw what they were doing to his word and thought, “Well, they are screwing that up too. Oh well, that is their decision. At least they have a bit of it right.”


Well, what do I know anyway