Monday, November 29, 2010


My current employment is with tech support so I am on the phone 8+ hours a day.
I get all types of people
The don’t cares
The idiots
The Helpers
The smart asses
The ½ listeners
The panickers
And the all time favorites
The Its your fault not mine.
In my 3+ years in doing this have I NEVER once picked up the phone
and heard what sounds exactly like someone climaxing.
Well at least not without some coaxing and certainly not at work

Today I pickup the phone and give my customery ramble-bamble 
I hear breathing
Once again the same schpell
A long pause
OKOK just in my head, out loud it was just an annoyed “Hello?”
Then he starts talking ( had to be a HE didnt it?)
He starts talking and he is short of breath
I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt 
maybe this guy is overweight and he has been rushing about.
He was breathing through his nose quiet deeply
It was increasing in pace.
And getting shorter
I am now full into a WTF look on my face!
As I continue his breathing continues to escalate!
He was giving me that low gasp/pant sound
I KNOW that sound
Hell, I have MADE that sound.

Finally as my ta l king s l o w s d o w n 
I am looking at my phone in awe and disgust
he gives me one last deep breath and then a shudder-sigh.
 Then the breathing sounds and gaspy breaths are gone and he is talking normal.
OMG. My ears have been violated!


Dont really care what the issue that was causing his breathing
the image of what it could have been is WAY too stuck in my head.
somedays you just want to reach through the phone and gnaw your way through some asshats jugular.

I need to go funnel some Purell into my head.

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Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.