1 thing

My dad passed away some 7 or 8 years ago. I do miss him very much.
I was thinking the other day, with everything a good dad does to raise his child right it is so very rare for that child to get a chance to do anything back for their dad.
When my dad went into the hosptal for some simple exploratory in and out work, he coded on the table.
They go him back but they didnt expect him to last the night.
I can still recall the attending physicians coming by every couple of hours saying "it wont be soon now"
My dad showed them. He got better.
He ended up in a semi-private room bu he was in bad shape.
days go by.
My mom informs me that he is coming in each day to my father in deplorable situations.
Sitting in his feces for hours, til it is cold and hard.
Rings for the nurse going unheeded or very slow to return for something as simple as a drink of water.
Just a air of not caring.
As soon as I heard this I decided That is MY dad and that is not happening.

I found out the board of directors names and went straight for the CEO.
I had no way of contacting him directly so I wrote a letter.
I explained to him what was happening and that my mother was doing the work of 2 nurses.
I wasnt mean about it or belligerent but I pointed out how I expected my father to be taken care of. That a loved one in such a position we rely on the hospital to care for our loved ones. I dont recall the entirety of the message but it was quite good, if I do say so myself.
I dont know what I was expecting but I couldnt do nothing.
A couple of days later my mother calls me that my dad has been moved to a private suite at no cost. both she and I received a letter and a call from him expressing his sincere regret to the conditions and how he agreed with me 100% about the care. He did a couple of other things but I cant recall them.It was cool of him.
When I went to visit my dad in his new room he managed to tell me thank you, that the improvements were all thanks to me.
It was nothing, it was the least I could do for the man who made me who I am.
I wish I could have done more but at least I got that 1 thing.

Justice

Bullied Bully

I have two views on this.

I think it is supremly great that one human stood up for a second human and said
"no. this is not going to happen."
That makes me feel that we are not just one giant cesspool of "all for me" parasites.
This makes me feel better about humanity as a whole.

However

I do think she went too far.
The crazy asian lady was being intimidating but hadnt touched anyone (that I could see)
Did she deserve having her ass kicked? sure. Maybe she will think twice,
Did she learn her lesson after the first kicking of the ass? no she came back

.....Ok I have just one view on this.
Some people have to have the lesson beat into them.

You go She-Hulk on the LA subway train  thingy.
 You are my hero.

Dad

You start to die the day you are born.
Its been going on since the first man ever walked the earth so its no surprise.
People die ever day.
There is an old joke where U2 is in concert and Bono has just finished giving a stirring rendition of ONE. The spotlight snaps to him and he starts a rythmic clap
CLAP pause CLAP pause CLAP
Then he says in a voice that fills the auditorium
"Every time I clap a child dies"
A voice from way back in the back yells out
    "THEN STOP CLAPPIN YA EVIL BASTARD!!"

anyway

11 years ago my superman died.
When you are young you dont even register that one day you wont have a mom or dad anymore.
To a kid they are the closest thing to a god that your little mind can fathom.
Your dad knows everything and he can do everything.
He is your idea of what a man is.

You get older and the world sneaks in and teaches you that your dad is human and he makes mistakes.
He is not perfect and you put the cape away because he is certainly no superman.
you grow up
but somewhere
way back in the back of your mind.
back in the corner.
Hidden behind the stack of every school paper ever
wedged between the incredible hulk lunchbox and the box of old 45s
is that one thought.
     "thats my daddy"
Its never lost its shine and there isn't a single speck of dust on it.
Its always there and it is a integral part of who you are.

I guess nowadays I should count myself as lucky to have had my dad in my life, lotta people don't get that.
I hope my children can appreciate that their daddy will always be there for them too
standing in the back
wedged between the spiderman backpack and a box of old pokemon cards


Thanks dad
     miss ya

Gypsy curse strikes again

Gee I know momma said there would be days like this but I seriously have not had a single bright point in my life since 2000.

I think there should be more to life then “well at least I am breathing”

People in comas breathe.

In just keeps getting worse and worse and darker and darker.

I’m not just complaining here to be complaining I am actively trying to find a way out of this swamp but as soon as I think I have found one something else jumps onto the pile forcing me deeper into the mud.

I try looking for the silver lining

I try looking for something good

        I guess I’m just missing it.

It sucks, at least to me it does, that all my woes could be solved with a suitable application of large sums of cash.    Makes me feel shallow and coated in failure.

I could be walking on sunshine right now if I just had enough money to remove this yoke.  For just the meager sum of $225,000.00 I could be free and clear and running smoothly

Maybe I just ought to write to Mr. Gates or Mr. Buffet and ask them for a handout. They are altruistic maybe they will take pity on me.

    I wouldn’t.

(I was going to list out all my new issues but it just made me too damn depressed)

Nanu-Nanu

Yesterday on 08/11/2014 the world lost the funniest man that ever walked across its crust.

Robin Williams took his own life yesterday.

He was in such a hurry to leave this world that when slitting his wrist did not work he then decided to hang himself.

That, my friends, is pain.

Living your life in so much pain that the very thought of taking another breath just overwhelms you.

That is depression.

This wonderful man who, at any moment, could have walked up to a complete and total stranger and they would have given him nothing but accolades and praise.

That is how depression gets you though. It tricks you into thinking you have no worth.

This man who gave the world so much laughter was crying inside.
 The booze and drugs were his way of just trying to self-medicate away the pain.

Just for a bit,

just a little moment so he could finally draw a full breath.

But no, depression doesn’t allow you these moments of respite.

Depression stands there and beats on you.

It beats on you and berates you and kicks you, even when you are down.

It hits you again and again and again

and again and again

and again

Mr. Williams didn’t know me personally but I knew him.

I met him the first time when he was at Al’s in Milwaukee

When my love affair with Sci-Fi was just beginning he told me he was from the planet Ork

When I wanted to just laugh, he took me to the Met.

He played a GREAT board game with me

He showed me the world from Agrabah,

We fought the pirates in Neverland

And saved the rainforest in Ferngully

And woke me up in Vietnam

He showed me he could be an inventor and an invention

a doctor and a psychopath

a teacher and a 10 year old boy

A king and a nanny

A President, a priest, a father, a husband

And a penguin

He could be anything he wanted to be

Except happy

And now he is gone.

and we are the lesser for it.

shazbot

Twiligtht Zone ,I of Newton

This is my all time favorite twilight zone episode. I havent seen it for ..oh decades I would imagine and yet I can remember it very well.
enjoy

I need a drink

It’s really a wonder I don’t drink.

Let me rephrase that

It is a wonder that I do not drink until I am completely blotto each and every night.

I’m not going to run down the entire list here, it is too extensive, I will just hit some of the high points of my low points.

Lets see…

just off the top of my head here we have (in no particular order)

depression, wife recovering from breast cancer, daughter had knee surgery due to arthritis at just 17 years of age, son broke his knee cap and had to have knee surgery, mom needs knee surgery but going in for cataract surgery, daughter’s cars airbags started smoking yesterday. Oh and let’s not forget foreclosure (luckily averted but it was a stressful time indeed) and getting a second job all the while losing more feeling in my foot due to pinched nerve.

Oh and that’s on top of all the normal day to day stress like the A/C unit blew up, daughter starting college, car is on its last legs, etc.etc.

You know that show “the lottery ruined my life” well all of my current and long standing problems can be solved by a suitable application of cash. So those people were just dumb. Not ignorant because that denotes the ability to learn and change. They are just plain dumb.

Dumb and greedy.

Maybe I should just start a kickstarter or a fundme project to see if the rest of the world would chip in a buck or two.

I don’t whine though.

    Not much at least.

        Ok so this post would be the closest I come to whining.

I do wonder what kind of gypsy curse I am under.

Or who I was in a past life that the good stuff seems to avoid me like I have the plague..

It’s really a wonder I don’t drink.