Waiting to die.

Depression is such a damnable thing.
Everything I ever found even remotely intresting is gone. Fishing, yard work, computers, writing, playing ,creating...all gone
I am spending my time just waiting to die.
I work
I watch TV and stare at insipid pictures for hours upon end
I try to sleep
Then back to step one
I cant bring myself to do chores or care about the littlest of things.
Im beaten down.
Did you see tonights episode of walking dead? Yeah I am darryl. The lion has been beaten down into a barely recognizable shell. but the lion is still in there.
Raging about all of this strife in my life inside but cant beat the rut to get out of it.
I want it to just slough off like burnt skin and be able to enough my life again
instead of just sitting
waiting to die.

Not an intresting story at all

       My first real job out of high school was working in a warehouse for a retail catalog showroom. I did this for 10 years working myself up from part time help to the youngest member of management in the company managing the warehouse for one of the top 10 stores.
I was good at this and I enjoyed doing it.
        I knew it was time to go though when the company started to fail and all of the hours allotted to the warehouse were cut. Cut so drastically that I only had enough for me, my assistant and 30 left over for my full time receiver. That was when I knew it was time for me to move on. in this warehouse we had high ceilings and really tall warehouse shelves. Not sure of the exact height but about 12 feet sounds right. We used ladders, of course, but a lot of the time we would monkey climb up and down the bins. It wasn't safer but it was quicker. Not a day would go by that I wasn't straddling across an aisle 10 feet up in the air stacking anything from furniture to TVs to baby good on the shelves.
    One day I was doing a inventory report and we had just had a truck in so the aisles were clogged. The aisle  was in was the bike aisle and we had them stacked 3 high with just enough of an aisle to shimmy your way through.  If you have never seen a bicycle box it is about 6 foot long and about a foot wide. Just big enough to hold a partially assembled bike. Well I needed to get up high enough to look at the top shelf so I  scaled the bins and was standing on top of one of the wobbly bike towers marking my report. I was about done when I felt a shift. Now these boxes are not strong corrugated cardboard. No these boxes are flimsier then a pizza box so just about any bit of pressure will crumple it. Sure enough there goes my tower. In the nanosecond I had to act I dropped my clipboard and made this Indiana Jones leap up and out from the stack as the tower came crashing to the ground. My assistant came around the corner to see what the commotion was to find me dangling over the middle of the aisle swinging from a sewer pipe from the store above us in the mall.

I am pretty unflappable so when I noticed him standing at aisle head doubled over laughing I just calmly said " Can you grab a ladder?"
"Oh now you want a ladder?"
"I think it would be prudent at this point yes"


   I learned nothing from this event. This was just a normal Thursday for me. I just randomly thought of this and wanted to get it on paper. I am sorry you wasted your time reading thsi.

I do hate the paparazzi

  I was wandering around youtube last night and ran across these videos called "celebrities getting angry with paparazzi" or something like that. I dont know if they were posted as a "oh poor celebrity" or "oh poor paparazzi" but if you watch them, and I did, you really get a good feel on how much of a lowlife bottom feeder these picture hounds are.
   I get that this comes with celebrity, but come on. You cant even drive your car because there are 12 people standing around with flashes going off and they are in the way and it is just truly invasive. I do not like Kanye West but even I felt for him when some goomba is standing outside of his house at 4am trying to take his picture and trying to talk to him.
Ok so you have the whole invading the personal space and not giving them the chance to just walk somewhere but then you have the ones that are just rude and even offensive. 
We, as a society, have created these monsters and we as a society need to step up and remove them. Sure there are things we like and these people are in the things we like so we like these people but do you need 16 photos of Dan Radcliffe walking down the street?
I would bet that a person could create a hoodie made of reflective material (like on the road crews reflective vests) with maybe a infrared light in the rim of the hood itself that would cancel out the flash and turn their visage into a bright blurry blob. That would at least provide some cover at night and keep them at bay as they would know they couldnt get a good shot.
 Ok rant is over.
 If you read this and end up making these stylish hoodies just remember you read it here and send me a healthy check please and thank you.


==Zombee


Oh just found out that they already do make these
https://techcrunch.com/2016/06/29/now-you-see-me-now-you-dont/

---------------- AVENGERS ASSEMBLED -----------------------

    Since I have such a long commute and some days I have to do something, anything really to keep me awake behind the wheel, I was toying about on my way home with trying to devise the most self destructive yet very efficient Avengers team.
The rules were quite loose basically you have to have specific archetypes but they can be "good" or "bad", This is what I came up with

                                                                 Leader - Emma Frost

                                                  Muscle - She-Hulk (also 2nd Lieutenant)

                                                                Tech Guru - Doc Ock

                                                               Brains - Amadeus Cho

                                            Tactician and financier - Moonknight

                                                          Comic Relief - Deadpool

                                                     Rookie - Franklin Richards.

                                                                    Magic - Nico Minoru

I think this covers all of the bases of the archetypes needed. They would be a spectacular group who could defeat one incursion and only one. There are some huge egos on this list and while the "could" be a team they couldn't do it for long.
Aficionados what would you change?

Happy Birthday Dad

Dads.
I was lucky and had one of the best dads in the

 world. Not everybody gets to say that.
My dad was super smart. The man knew his 

engines and knew his horticulture, among a myraid of other things..
For instance, once he read an article about hydroponic gardening

 and the next day had created his own system 

using some PVC and an old sump pump. 

Why? Cause it interested him.
We had this huge 10 car garage that was all 

steel. He converted ½ of it into his workshop

 with some 2x4 and Styrofoam sheets. The Kansas

 winters can be rough though so he needed a 

heater in there. Using just the information in 

his head he devised a wood burning furnace for 

the garage using some old discarded hot water 

heaters and some discarded metal sheets from the local newspaper.
The man made MacGyver look like he bought all 

of his innovations online.
To say I am proud of my father is truly an 

understatement.
He was my first superhero.
But then I was a typical teenager growing up and didn't realize how awesome the 

man was until I was in my 20's.
I remember when he turned 50 he told me that if he knew he was going to live this

 long he would have taken better care of himself.
Everything I am I owe to my dad and I miss him every single day.
Today would have been my dad's 75th birthday.
Happy Birthday dad.
I love you.

Missed Rick Springfield again

Been to 2 Rick Springfield concerts and have yet to see him in concert.
Back in the early 00 took wife to see Rick Springfield at incahoots ( a local cowboy bar). He came on stage at 10pm and was 1/2 way through the 1st song and she was ready to go. And that was how I spent 50 bucks to stand in a room full of loud drunk people for an hour for apparently no reason at all.



Well Saturday I Took wife and daughter to see Rick Springfield The romantics and Night Ranger opened for him. It had rained pretty good up to the time the gates opened, but I looked at the radar and the storm was heading west and north from us. Its OK, we should be fine. so we jumped in the car and drove the 45 minutes drive to the outdoor concert in the park that didn't start until 7.
We get there maybe 45 minutes after the gates open and there were already about 500 people milling about. So needless to say after parking the car and walking the quarter of a mile to the venue (strike one)  the seating we found was crap. Strike Two. We setup the seats and I decide that if I'm gonna do this I will need a beer so off the daughter and I go to find said beer.
We get in contact with wife and she would like something to eat and we see a Indian taco truck with about 10 people in line. We get in line and wait
                                       and wait
                                          and wait
then the rain starts coming in. first it spits, then it drizzles and then it opens up and pours and pours and pours
at least it is a warm rain.
Daughter and I stood in that line for an hour while these 2 yokels raised and butchered the cow and grew and harvested their own wheat. Man they were slow.

We were literally wringing out cups worth of water from our close grumbling and griping about how that had be the best damn taco in the world.
Finally we get the taco and head back to our crappy seats. The ravine we had passed was now a raging river and my daughter raversed it banks holding the taco like it was made of solid gold. Twice she slipped in the mud and went down on one knee but never lost the taco.
Once we get to the wife,who is as dry as the gobi due to the umbrella she is holding, sitting in her chair and the first thing she says is "the umbrella leaks"
We laugh, we shiver, we shake the water off and we state matter of factually "We are going home."
I could have stuck it out but the sun was going down and the wind was picking up.

I was done.
We pack it all up and start heading out and my wife runs across an old high school buddy and she decides to stay.
Dont care, I was done. Didnt care about the 20 bucks in tickets I was tossing. I have spent more on stupider things.
I . was. Done.
On the way home the daughter and I pick up a couple of 6 packs and call it a night.

Missed Rick Springfield again

Been to 2 Rick Springfield concerts and have yet to see him in concert.
Back in the early 00 took wife to see Rick Springfield at incahoots ( a local cowboy bar). He came on stage at 10pm and was 1/2 way through the 1st song and she was ready to go. And that was how I spent 50 bucks to stand in a room full of loud drunk people for an hour for apparently no reason at all.



Well Saturday I Took wife and daughter to see Rick Springfield The romantics and Night Ranger opened for him. It had rained pretty good up to the time the gates opened, but I looked at the radar and the storm was heading west and north from us. Its OK, we should be fine. so we jumped in the car and drove the 45 minutes drive to the outdoor concert in the park that didn't start until 7.
We get there maybe 45 minutes after the gates open and there were already about 500 people milling about. So needless to say after parking the car and walking the quarter of a mile to the venue (strike one)  the seating we found was crap. Strike Two. We setup the seats and I decide that if I'm gonna do this I will need a beer so off the daughter and I go to find said beer.
We get in contact with wife and she would like something to eat and we see a Indian taco truck with about 10 people in line. We get in line and wait
                                       and wait
                                          and wait
then the rain starts coming in. first it spits, then it drizzles and then it opens up and pours and pours and pours
at least it is a warm rain.
Daughter and I stood in that line for an hour while these 2 yokels raised and butchered the cow and grew and harvested their own wheat. Man they were slow.

We were literally wringing out cups worth of water from our close grumbling and griping about how that had be the best damn taco in the world.
Finally we get the taco and head back to our crappy seats. The ravine we had passed was now a raging river and my daughter raversed it banks holding the taco like it was made of solid gold. Twice she slipped in the mud and went down on one knee but never lost the taco.
Once we get to the wife,who is as dry as the gobi due to the umbrella she is holding, sitting in her chair and the first thing she says is "the umbrella leaks"
We laugh, we shiver, we shake the water off and we state matter of factually "We are going home."
I could have stuck it out but the sun was going down and the wind was picking up.

I was done.
We pack it all up and start heading out and my wife runs across an old high school buddy and she decides to stay.
Dont care, I was done. Didnt care about the 20 bucks in tickets I was tossing. I have spent more on stupider things.
I . was. Done.
On the way home the daughter and I pick up a couple of 6 packs and call it a night.

Shower Thoughts

Saw this on imgur today. Someone made a comment on it
Really? You guys would honestly kill a man to become rich? Hating on Justin Beiber is so cringey

When you have nothing and lose everything you don't have that far to fall.
When have some and lose some it is devastating.
when you have some and keep sliding down the muddy bank, crawling up but slipping down, losing ground every.single.time then a chance to make it all go away and be free for once.
You know that movie where they push a button and get a million dollars but someone dies?
 I'd beat out a damn drum solo.
I do have the tendency to fail to think of future ramifications. Not because I cant, but because I get stuck in the whole "what if" rabbit hole.
I end up just pulling the trigger on the decision and deal with the results as they come.
I would rather be sorry then wonder what might have been.

Inside the supervillians lair with laser sharks and bald henchmen.
"What you see before you Mr.ZomBee" he intones stroking his white cross-eyed cat "are 2 buttons. Press the blue one and your child goes free however 5 million people will die. Press the red....oh
..well..
Ok well the red was kill your child and 5 million people live but..yeah... that's a moot point right now isnt it?"

My Star Wars Theory

   

Hero

   I think Rey is the little sister who was found to be strong in the force. 
 She got more attention then Ben did, which made him jealous and moody and that gave Snooke his edge into Bens soul and used it to turn him to the darkside. Ben doesnt really want to be there though but its all he knows now, he is very powerful and that is all. He cannot even command the kind of respect his grandpa did. He wants to be the big bad, to get what he thinks was kept from him by dear old mom and dad.
    I think Han and Leia think she died in Bens attack. She is gone and that is painful but she is gone and Ben is still alive.They are hanging their hopes on their last hope, bringing Ben back to the Light. That is why they never mention anything like "I wish Jill was here" or "What about the memory of Jaina?" or whatever they named her.

 I think Luke grabbed Rey and tossed her in the Falcon and dropped her off on Jokku with that butterball dude to keep her safe. Maybe her being so strong in the force he figured Ben would come for her if she was with mom and dad, so he had to think her dead too? Maybe this was all done at once, fleeing Kylo and his team that there wasnt time to meet up. So he jacked the Falcon and zoomed off to Jakko. Made a deal and left the Falcon with sluggo as payment for watching the girl. Then he took off to go find the Jedi Temple.
But for right now thats my head cannon.

 The only other tidbit I will also go along with is she is Lukes daughter. Ren is 19 so she was born 11 years after the battle of Endor. Now Jedis are not monks but they usually do not take wives either. however there really werent a whole lot of Jedi hanging around to tell him what was right and what was improper.
He's a big war hero who saved the galaxy and can do really cool parlor tricks. It would be rather farfetched to think he didnt have a date or two. I mean our normal earthly relgious clerics cant keep their hands off of little boys so what a space monk supposed to do?

Oh and I think Snoke is Darth Plagus, the Empererors Sith lord who knew how to manipulate life and death. Just not sure why he has simualr head wounds to Vader. Not identical but damn close.

of course this is all pure speculation for the next 98 weeks,

 not that I have put any thought into this or anything.

**Oh and if youve read through all of this just know that I am pretty sure I am wrong. Now I am pretty sure Rey is a clone of Luke created off of the hand that Vader lopped off on Bespin. This would account for the reemergence of the Skywalker lightsaber as he was holding it said hand when his daddy "disarmed" him.

OK IGNORE ALL OFTHIS SHITE.
I THINK I HAVE IT NOW AND REALLY LIKE THE WAY IT WILL PLAY IF I AM CORRECT.
ahem
Ok so Luke Skywalker has his school of force sensitive kids he has culled from across the galaxy. He found one that was really strong, so strong that when Darth Snoke started messing with Ben Solo he knew he had to get her far and away because if she goes dark LIKE HER GRANDFATHER then the whole mess could start all over again.
Im gonna call it here. Rey is the Granddaughter (or even a clone) of Emperor Palpatine.
The whole Skywalker vs Palpatine thing has been the story since movie 1 but now it is the Skywalker that is on the dark side and the Palpatine on the light.

Sure there are more important things out there to burn braincells on but this makes me happy and in this dismal bleak life you have to grab your joy any way you can so sod off.

B I G

TIL : OK so a light year is how long it takes light to travel in 1 year, As you are aware light is fast like really really fast.
Now our galaxy is huge, like really really big. Just over 100,000 light years across in size. So if something were to have happened on the far side of our galaxy, say a star blows up, way back when humans first popped up in the middle east. Well we would just be seeing it today.
OK so the galaxy is big, really really big. Almost inconceivably big.
Now try and wrap your brain around this.

This picture is of the LQG or the Large Quasar Group
The Large Quasar Group is four billion light years across. The cluster of seventy-four quasars actually breaks the rules of standard astrophysics, since the maximum size of any cosmic structure should be only 1.2 billion light years across. Scientists have absolutely no idea how this huge structure formed, since they had previously only been aware of other clusters of perhaps several hundred million light years across.
Yeah so if something were to happen on one end, like a star blows up, it would take 4 BILLION YEARS for the other side to even know.
Im sure by then they would even care.