Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Summer time bluez

When I was a kid I always would get the same feeling in my gut the fewish days right before school would start.
It was an odd feeling and being a kid I knew that no one else on the entire planet had ever felt this feeling I was having in the entire history of the world, so naturally I had to keep it to myself.
It would feel like a cold, granite stone had grown in the pit of my stomach. It was an evil stone that sucked in all light and radiated out despair.
The summer is over already!? What was the first day going to be like? Why did the summer have to end? What if I make a mistake? What if I get laughed at? What if…”
I have started lots of various jobs and positions in my life and have never felt the cold hand of the summer’s end grip my heart.
That was until my kids started school.
Then, quite unexpectedly, that old feeling returned.
Then that same old dread came up but now he has a friend.
The 1st day of school marks yet another year gone.
The Girl has gone from being the precocious 5yr old grinning at me as we played games and play acted to the 15 year old young woman who will be graduated from High School in just 3 years.
TheBoy has gone from the lil pip squeak that followed me around with always the biggest smile on his face to this fine, strong, 13 yr old young man.
Will someone please hurry up and invent the damn time machine already?
I have about a decade I want to go through again.
2000 to 2010 was hard and horrible and crushing and defeating.
Worst decade ever.
But I would gladly live through it all over again just to be able to see my kids grow up one more time.

This decade is going to be different though.
This decade I am going to be here mentally and physically.
I guess I have about 20 years of livin to squeeze into the next 10.
Somebody get me a shoehorn.

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Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.