Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Now what?


Pardon me while I bounce around here….
I am more agitated then a washing machine full of bricks on spin cycle.
I get a call today from The Girl that while at school today, the current flood of high school drama hit a peak and one of her “friends” turned around and decked her.
Grr HulkDad SMASH!!!
She had her hands full of books and this spoiled little brat took the opportunity to take a cheap shot. PHM was cool about it and… did nothing.
Furious?
Yeah, of course she was.
But it’s high school.
Part of me wants to go all protective and destroy any indication that this kid has ever existed on this planet.
Part of me wants to let this all flow and ebb away as it is just childish, High School crap and will soon dissipate away as all childish things do.
I know my girl did the right thing, she turned the other cheek.
I also know that it is very hard to get over that one major hump.
That is, convincing your brain, in under 15 nanoseconds, that it is OK to break someone’s nose.
I think it is because to actually WANT to hit someone is not a natural feeling at all. The first (and second) time you ever punch someone out of anger is always the hardest to get past. Your mind gets all jumbled up with uncertainty and fear and apprehension. I think that the hesitation to hit is the mind trying to protect itself from more/other harm.
There is a school of psychology that believes that anger is not a true emotion that anger is actually a response to a deeper feeling whether it is remorse, insecurity or embarrassment.
I can see how that can be and perceived but I think that invalidates the anger as a true emotion. I think that only by accepting the anger at face value can you get past it and eliminate the true underlying issues.
I may be wrong, I don’t hold a PhD, I just know what I know.





3 comments:

  1. Your daughter did the mature thing, particularly for one in high school. I'm not in favor of trying to analyze and/or rationalize the hysteric actions of others just to justify unacceptable behavior. I hope your daughter doesn't spend too much time on the "why" of the punch and just cuts this "friend" loose.

    I also hope she's okay.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah The Girl has always been more mature for her age. Even her teachers have remarked that they forget she is just a kid.
    She is pretty good at cutting loose the dead weight too. Hard to get a 2nd chance from her. Not impossible but difficult.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I found out later on face book that her fathers girl friend was actually encouraging her. Even egging her on.. Great parenting there.the girl its lashing out because her mom died in septemberand her only mother figure is encourging her. Geesh what a classy act. Sometimes the adults are worse.

    ReplyDelete

Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.