A dark robed figure sits in a darkened office lit only by the computer screen in front of him.
“Mmmmmhmmmmm” He half mumbles, half growls and half hums to himself.
“That just won’t do...”
With a snarl he snatches up the phone and punches in a few numbers.
“Oh hey Adolph. R and D please. Hmm? Oh, this is Lou and….what? Are you serious? Yes, Yes very well then. User ID… Yes! I am well aware I created the rules! Now, User Id number 0000000000000000000 *sigh* zero times 2000 more and a 1.” He intones as he grips the phone tighter in his grasp.
“Yes. Indeed it is. Thank you. Yes. I will hold.”
A tinny sound starts playing through the speaker on the phone.
“By HIS name I love this song.” He mutters to no one in particular “reminds me of better days. Need to make a note to have Celine sing this for me when she gets down here. I am sure it will count as someone’s Hell.”
“ONCE. MORE. YOU OPEN THE DOOR” the figure starts to sing along with the music in his liquid baritone voice “AND I FEEL… oh yes hello... sorry about that.”
“Yes. this is Lou up in collections, to whom am I speaking with? Hank? Great. Hank I need to know how things are going in Research and Development. Hmm? Oh I just need to know if there has been any break through on any new term investment packages that I can use. Yes, group rates too. Mmhmm. Yes. I will hold.”
The figure taps his pencil rapidly on his desktop as he peers off into the distance as if he were a million miles away. Which he more then likely is at the time.
“Yes I am still here. Ok whatcha got? No I have that one, yes that one too. Yes I was able to get the Westborough Church in on a group rate.” Agitated he starts to hunt and peck on his keyboard accessing the data as quickly as he can. “No those are off limits right now. Oh, they get passes during war time. I know, it sucks it really does. By HIS name, we really took a bath on that treaty pact in the 18’s, but who knew these fleshlings were going to start living so long? Oh, well yeah. I am sure HE knew, that’s the main reason we don’t cut deals with HIM anymore. That borders on insider trading, now don’t it.”
He taps some more on the keyboard and desk as he ponders a few files.
“HMM? No I am still here. You know how it is, end of the quarter and all. We seemed to have leveled off over the past 20 decades or so and I …. Oh no, you guys are doing great! The whole Catholic Pedophile thing was genius! I am just trying to squeak out a few more here.”
“Well thanks for your help Hank.” The figure grumpily slumps in his chair and tosses his pencil, which has now turned into a serpent, at the screen. ” Unfortunately looks like I am going to have to go on the road myself this time. I miss the good ol’ days when we didn’t have all this red tape. Oh yeah! It was great! We could just go out and pick those souls like fat tomatoes on the vine. I always had a chance to taste a couple here and there and they were just delicious! Now days they are all full of preservatives and chemicals and all kinds of bent gobblygook crud that messes with the flavor.”
“ HAHA!” His laughter cracks the air like a sonic boom that has created yet another sonic boom “Yes. Scientology does create its own flavor doesn’t it. HA you are a funny guy Hank!”
“Ok well I better get a move on and get packed to go. Thanks again Hank.” The figure says as he hangs up his phone. “Damned! He is a funny guy.”
“Maybe I will start in the deep south again.”
He mutters to himself as he stands and slips on his even darker robes.
“Florida might be a good start or maybe even Georgia.”
OK so I had a song stuck in my head this morning.. sue me.