Sunday, April 6, 2014

Better living through chemistry

Once when I was a younger lad and was working in retail I was super tired. I mean dog ass tired. I also was on a 12 day with no break ass busting schedule at work.
So, being super intelligent I decided that I needed a spark
I ate 2 Vivarin to give me said spark and headed to work
If you do not know what a Vivarin is it is a caffeine pill that is 200mg of caffeine or equal to 2 cups of coffee.
On the way to work I was still feeling tired so I took 2 more
Then half way there I took 2 more
Then once I arrived I took 2 more
Then just as I started my shift I, yup you guessed it, I took 2 more
So now I have 2000mg of caffeine surging through my system
2000 milligrams equals 2 grams
Luckily its takes on an average 100 grams to kill a man so I was safe there
But I felt awful
I was nauseous and I was in the physical state where it doesn’t matter what you do, you feel uncomfortable. I couldn’t sit, stand lay down or hop about on one foot
It all felt bad.
I went home after about 4 hours as I was not getting any better.
Finally after about 16 hours I started to unwind.
Did I learn my lesson?
Obviously not.
Back in 2000 I was working in Kansas City and was having back pain
To alleviate said pain I was taking a Tylenol and ibuprofen mix every morning
Started out with just 2 Tylenol and 2 ibuprofen every morning and it steadily grew
By the end of 3 weeks I was taking 10 Tylenol and 10 ibuprofen every morning
I should have died from a toxic overdose
What I ended up doing was killing off all the beneficial bacteria in my gut.
I made myself lactose intolerant.
I finally realized what I was doing and cut it out and so far my liver is fine and I can enjoy drinking milk again
Ice Cream still affects me in a disastrous way, which is a high penalty for my stupidity.

Moral of the story is
Pay attention to what you ingest.

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Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.