stoopid humans

At what point as a society did we just turn into a 5 year old standing next to the broken cookie jar going “I didn’t do it”

For instance: now there is a big hoopla going around that 5 people died while consuming MONSTER drinks.

Well, DUH!

Have you read the side of the can?

It says right there “this can is packed full of more crap than your average dishwashing fluid. “

Oh so you can’t read and the big words scare you?

Ok then take a sip of it and if your teeth start to itch and your eyes are vibrating to an internal samba beat then maybe this may not be the drink for you.

But, nooooo.

Because this can is in a place where I, being a person who has money, can buy it then it must be safe and ok.

Dumb asses

It says right on the can and I quote

“Max 1 can every 6 hours with limit 2 cans per day. Not intended for children, pregnant woman, or people sensitive to caffeine”

Come on!

You are drinking a drink that reads like a warning label on a bottle of codeine.

Grow 2 brain cells and rub them together.

Unless someone is holding you down and water boarding you with a bucket of Monster this is your responsibility.

Yes. People died and dying sucks but take some responsibility for you.

I swear, nowadays people are strapping on a blindfold and running full tilt through the forest then are shocked and surprised when they run face first into *gasp* a TREE!

Suck it up buttercup.

We all want someone to hold our hand and gently guide us through life’s crappy disappointments and heart wrenching pitfalls.

But lassie is dead and Mr. Belvedere has retired.

Looks like you getta wear the big boy boots on this excursion.

*this post written under the influence of MONSTER REHAB. Combining Tea and lemonade and energy (3 of the 4 food groups)

Try it. It’s awesome.