Friday, January 20, 2012


OK so the other day I put on my full dick suit and was a complete tool to my son.
Basically I lost my temper.
Buncha shouting by me, some seething and just general dickery.
After I calmed down I apologized to my son and explained to him why I blew my top.

My daughter however has deemed me to be the evil overlord and will now no longer speak to me unless it is to make snide remarks and cutting snarls.

She claims that I smoke to much, take too many pills and need to get out and away from the house more.
Valid claims all….6 months ago.
However in the past 6 months I have
  • Reduced my smoking from 7 cigarettes a day to 2 (ok maybe 3)
  • I deal with chronic pain each and every day but still I have reduced my consumption of all pills considerably and I am just relearning how to deal with the daily pain rather the masking it.
As for the whole getting out more.. yeah I see that. I lead a rather sedentary life or I did.
Everything I want to do costs me money so the best way to avoid spending said money is to avoid going out.
Not the best plan of attack but until I can find a 2nd job it will have to do.
Plus, dealing with the chronic pain does leave one quite wiped out and lacking much energy.
But I am working on that as well.
You see about 6 months ago I finally resolved to,
for lack of a better term,
“cut this shit out”
And so I have been.
I have been analyzing my patterns and discerning my plan of attack.
The smoking is a moot point at this time, on its way out, a process in work, I.E. “I got this one”

The medications for the pain will be more difficult.
The hardest part is going to be dealing with the painful withdrawal while still trying to function. I may consult my doctor on that one but not 100% sure yet. Still analyzing this one, so I may have to back burner it until the smoking thing is shelved so I can concentrate on that one. So far I think if I can get some exercise under my belt I can develop a better resistance to the fatigue and that will be a large weapon in my arsenal. I am entirely to sedentary. Exercise, for me, is well just not there.
I don’t have to watch what I eat nor exercise to keep weight off, my metabolism does that for me.
So I can be a couch slug and do nothing and maybe I might gain a pound.
Big deal
I currently weigh 145 and the most I have ever weighed is 165.
I know poor me. I have the body chemistry most people would just kill for.
(ok enough bragging on THAT point)
That’s what life has in store for me cuurently.
The hing is that I have never been someone to toot their own horn. I cant tell people that “Hey look at me I am doing this or less of that”
So no one has noticed any of my changes.
Especially my family.


  1. That you're aware of what needs to be "fixed" and are actually working on helping yourself is what's important. Sending you some positive energy!


Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.