I want a new drug.

Oh what a joyous day indeed!

I went to the ol’ sawbones today because well, I cannot STAND losing anymore days to this fatigue.

I think I have mentioned it before but for the past 4 to 6 months I have been spending 1 day of the weekend asleep.

I don’t mean getting up, being industrious, taking a catnap and then enjoying my evening. Hell I wouldn’t mind that.

I mean going to bed early Friday (9ish)

Sleeping until Noon

Then falling back to sleep at 1 or 2 till 5

Then going back to bed at 9

And the whole while not being worth a penny farthing.

NOT how I want to spend my life. My family deserves more and better.

I know I need to exercise more but I need the oomph to be able to do so.

Yes oomph is a word.

I am thinking of a stimulant because frankly I am at the point where I have considered dropping off the legality trail and going into the boondocks.

I have tried all kinds of homeopathic remedies, diet pills, straight up over the counter stimulants, energy drinks, blah-blah-blah. Basically end up jittery, sweaty, a hell of a bad case of heartburn and still tired.

However, as a side effect, I have also learned how to make my own liquid plumber!

So I go to see the Doc.

I left the Doc with a script for Lunesta (to sleep) and a diagnosis of ADD to boot*.

So too tally up the medicinal count here

Skelaxin – muscle relaxer

Ultracet – for pain

Fentynol – for pain

Replaced Clonzepan (to help me get drowsy) with Lunesta

Replaced my Anti-D with Straterra

Plus a nasal spray to help keep the snoring down.

I think my Doc is starting to think I am just a junkie looking for a fix. He keeps mentioning what is a non-narcotic and non-addicting.

I would stop all this crap today if my body wasn’t addicted to it.

Mentally I am not addicted. I take everything sparingly just to stave off the peaks.

Physically, however, the withdrawal symptoms suck.

It’s like having the flu but without the bright light at the end knowing soon it will be over.

1. Starts out small with just a runny nose
2. Then you get a little lethargic. No juice in the batteries.
3. Now, since the pain meds slow down your system, the incessant trips to the bathroom as the colon clears it’s things to do list.
4. Then you start getting really tired. Like you do after an allnighter out drinking and every blink is a decision whether to open the eyes up again.
5. Then the cold sweats. You are hot and cold at the same time. And no, wearing a parka with shorts does not help.
6. Then the narcolepsy sets in as you are unable to stay awake now and 150 pounds is attached to each limb as your brain keeps trying to escape out the back of your skull.
7. Now that you are sniffy, sleepy, sweaty, poopie and dragon ass now lets toss in TWITCHY! Each muscle starts revving up randomly, mostly in the extremities. It feels like all the energy in your body has been rerouted to just one limb. So while you are lying there in abject misery your left arm feels like it needs to run a marathon RIGHT NOW! It’s not a good feeling either and you cannot ignore it.

I know this because this is what I went through about 6 years ago when I ran out of Loratabs. Needles to say I weaned myself off of them and don’t take them anymore.

This is also how I know when it is overdue for me to change my pain patch. I get to stage 3 and I know I need to take some serious measures and quickly.

So kids. Unless you have a coma scheduled in the near future

Just say NO to drugs.

*as for the ADD I saw that one coming. The Beast has ADHD and I see a lot of me in him. Looking back, I show all the signs of it when I was younger. It wasn’t until I started smoking that I calmed down.