Saturday, May 23, 2009

ZomBee’s theory on sleep


Everyone does it.

Some do it better then others.
Some do it more then once a day.

Sleep.
It’s been around for quite some time (I knew about it when I was but a baby) and in all that time, no one has figured out WHY we sleep.
Studies have shown that the body machine itself gets the same amount of a “recharge” from 15 minutes of quiet restful repose as it does from 8 hours of quality sleep.
Then why does the body shutdown?
Why will a person go mad if sleep deprived for extended periods?

I have a theory on that… ( SHOCKING!!)
First and foremost is your senses are working every second of everyday.
Everything you see, hear, smell, taste, etc. is sucked in and staged in your brain. Peripheral vision, random thoughts, your office workers beef and bean tostada fart, elevator music, that shamwow commercial. All that stuff is sucked into the great computer residing in your skull.
There is where it sits and accumulates. Your brain stages it for current and future reference, and waits for a chance to compile it and store it away. Then when you crash for the day, your brain shuts down all physical abilities except for the core functions, (it actually releases a chemical that in essence locks down the machine.) With the machine shutdown, not only does the brain not have to worry about more information coming in but it also has additional computing power to do its job.
With the machine shut down, it can focus on compiling, storing, sorting and deleting all this information it has collected.
What happens then is the brain sorts and stuffs and moves massive files around in your mind and in doing, so, other items are moved, shifted, etc.
You know how you can see a bunny in a cloud, Jesus’ face in a piece of toast or an odd shadow taking on human features? Your mind naturally seeks out and looks for patterns in everything.
Well, you can picture what happens next. Basically your mind is sitting there minding it’s own business and along comes your brain and dumps a box full of pictures and facts and smells and whatnot into a big pile as it starts to sort through the mess. Images of your high school art class combined with information from a lecture the previous day added with a smell of perfume from the weekend and a random thought about elephants flying, All that stuff sitting in a pile being sorted and filed away.
Your mind see’s all these images and input together and immediately tries to put them together to make sense. After all there has to be a pattern in here somewhere.

Congratulations. You just created your first dream of the night.

But then again I could be wrong.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

“MOM” is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.


I just read the one sentence I did not know I never wanted to see in my life until I saw it.

I could have lived my entire life without reading these words.

Even in some bizarre Stephen King Novel, it would have been awful but this being for what passes as real life makes it even more wrenching and horrifying.


A 4-year-old child says, “My daddy ate my eyes.”

4 years old. That’s when Mommy and Daddy are equal to gods in a child’s mind and heart. Mommy and Daddy are to be trusted and loved and to protect me from any harm. Mommy and Daddy love me and play with me and take care of me. I know if I jump off the couch Mommy and Daddy will catch me and we will laugh and giggle and love each other. Mommy and Daddy protect me from the monsters under the bed and in the closet.

Except when Mommy and Daddy ARE the monsters.

It seems that “daddy” got high on PCP and chewed out his child’s eyes.
Horrifying.
“Mommy” heard said baby screaming for her to help him as she arrived home with the pizza. “Mommy” turns around and leaves.

Turns around and leaves?

Turns around and FUCKING leaves!!!

My heart burns and aches at the same time.
I’m sorry I cannot even post the story here just a link.

http://www.bakersfield.com/news/local/x339729128/Bakersfield-dad-accused-of-biting-out-sons-eye

IF the government were to choose to return to a more appropriate legal system where atrocities such as these are dealt with accordingly (instead of the monster being the victim how about the victim being the victim.).

IF our wonderful governmental system were to grow both a spine and a ball-sack at the same time and treat monsters such as this as they should be.

Then they can certainly call upon me to do my civic duty to “punish” said monsters.
I will need some power tools, various sporting equipment including both
wooden and aluminum bats, a blowtorch, pliers, wrenches, a cheese grater, acetone, salt, vinegar, hypodermic needles and a 10 to 15 pound sledge.
That’s just off the top of my head, I am sure I can increase my shopping list if so desired .
and I
REALLY
SO
DESIRE


Monday, May 18, 2009

File this under "WTH?"

I'm sorry. I just can NOT wrap my brain around this.
-----------------------------------------------------

Foxx To Play Sinatra?

Jamie Foxx has been tipped to play late Rat Pack crooner Frank Sinatra, according to reports.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Harry Connick Jr. were among the names rumoured to be in contention for the role after it was announced earlier this month that filmmaker Martin Scorsese will direct a biopic.

But now African-American actor Foxx, who won an Oscar for his portrayal of Ray Charles in 2004's Ray, has emerged as the favourite to play Ol' Blue Eyes.

And studio bosses are convinced Foxx has the charisma and talent to tackle the role of Sinatra, who died in 1998.

An insider tells Britain's Daily Star, "Jamie would seem to be born to the role. Magnificent voice, convincing acting ability - like Frank himself - born the wrong side of the tracks, makes it big against all odds, has his brush with authority. The guy's a gift."

------------------------------------
Isnt this equal to having Julia Roberts playing Ronald Regan?
I'm not a biased person but if you are going to make a movie about a real live (well, dead now but you know what I mean) person, wouldn't you wanna try to get at least 1 thing accurate?
Why not just have Vern Troyer (mini me) play Elvis in a biopic?

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I remember mama

I still remember the very first play I saw that made me go “wow. Theatre is awesome.” I was in 6th grade in California and they trucked us off to the high school to watch a snippet from their production of “The Lord of the Rings” and they had a bright white cargo net as a web and did the whole scene in the cave and we watched as the net was hauled up with Frodo as it’s captive.
I thought that was damn cool.
Then we moved to Kansas and in the 8th grade. I went to go see our High Schools rendition of “Brigadoon.”
“She’s a witch.”
“Yeah we have those too back in Kansas. We just pronounce it differently.”
I ended up going all 3 nights.
Once I made it to High School, I remember the first production I witnessed. “Ten Little Indians”
I remember Paul Crandon losing the gun under the table and wilting for a second trying to find it.
I have yet to see a woman choked and strangled for as long.
I seem to also remember Paul had a little too much merlot one night and skipped ½ play as well.
I believe there was an after-party at Matt Orsman’s house as well that I was invited to.
I thought wow!
The theater has people who are REALLY rather odd!!
Hey! I’m rather odd too!

Never made it to the stage, though.
In my own defense, I never had the real desire to be on the stage.

My claim to fame was building sets and such
I was significant in creating the set for “The diary of Anne Frank.”
I created one whole section by the stairs by myself, just to get everything done.

I remember “marrying” My friend Ducky and this guy Derrick in the wardrobe room once in my junior/senior year. Then telling them I was truly an ordained minister thanks to a correspondence course I took.
“The holy church of reverent light and love” I think the name was.
I remember in my senior year making out with Mary in the rafters above the auditorium. (sometimes having a photographic memory DOES have it benefits.)

Sorry. Saw some old pics from High School and all this stuff came bubbling up to the surface.


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Caution: words may fill your brain.



Everyone wants something for nothing.
Simple as that.

Ever since that dimwit spilled her coffee at McDonalds everyone has been under the impression that the world owes them a million dollars.
Damn that woman!!
She is a General in the army leading the charge toward the dummying down of America.
Don’t get me wrong though, I believe that if you have been truly wronged you deserve retribution and recompenses but come on.
If your airbag fails to deploy due to a faulty circuit, sue away. Sue them twice for good measure. They promised a product and failed to deliver.

I am sure you have read and heard about all these silly warning labels on just about everything.
  • Don’t eat preparation H.
  • Don’t use your hair dryer in the shower
  • Don’t stick the hair curler in your ass
  • The Barbie pool is not a flotation device
  • Caution: this bag of peanuts contains peanuts.

Whatever happened to common sense?
When did it become a corporation’s responsibility to save someone from their own stupidity?

If you have to be told that a cup of hot coffee will be hot or that trying to stop a chain saw blade with your genitals is a bad idea, you need to be removed from the gene pool.

OH! and to just make sure everyone gets their chance to sue everyone else they now have a website for it.
http://www.sueeasy.com
Class action lawsuits made easy. Point-click-sue.

For instance: Ebay Inc. is online auctioneer. It advertises as haven for buyers and seller's but in fact its only concern is how to make money.

No freakin DUH! It’s called a business.

I am surprised no one has started suing garage sales for not selling the actual garage.

In fact, not all of my clothes fit like they used to but I cant decide whether to sue Lil Debbie for making sweet sensual snacks that are readily available to me or Hanes for making their medium sized underwear only fit a medium sized person (that is discrimination for those who are medium +1).


The 7 Types Of Bad Bosses According To Star Trek (And How To Survive Them)

They yell at you and fire you twice a day. They insist that a five-day job should only take five hours. They flip-flop and then blame you for their mistakes. Star Trek's captains model all kinds of bad boss behavior, but luckily they also show us what to do with a boss who's out of touch with reality.


We already covered the 7 kinds of highly effective leadership as demonstrated by space captains. But captains can also model some pretty awful management, and noplace is this more apparent than in dear old Trek.

kirk.jpgThe bully. He alternates between jolly and grouchy — but even his jolly side is a little scary sometimes. He enjoys "teasing" his subordinates, especially anyone who's different in some way, like having funny-shaped ears. "Notices" his female underlings a little too closely. He does give an inspiring speech about risk-taking, but that's usually just to drag you into some weird body-switching scheme that will leave you with a weird rash for a month. He's also the original "I want it done yesterday" boss, who's "sick of hearing the word 'can't.'"
How to handle him: If he yells, yell back. Say "Dammit" a lot. If he asks how long something will take, exaggerate by at least 200 percent. If he starts cracking jokes at you, just ignore it, and he'll probably go away. But never, ever make fun of him back. (I've totally had this boss, like twice, and thinking of him as Captain Kirk really helped.)

Not-again-picard2.jpgThe father figure. He's your best pal, playing poker with you and listening to you whine about your holographic love life — until you piss him off, and then suddenly he's all shouty and mean. He's like your nice uncle who suddenly turns vicious. It actually startled me the first time Picard showed his bitchslapping side — and yet it shouldn't have. I've had bosses just like this. They're all about "nurturing," until you don't get their drycleaning to them on time, and then suddenly it's the screamy echochamber for you. He's also incredibly long-suffering, constantly annoyed by every little thing that goes wrong. Likes to bust out with a speech explaining the "moral" of everything that happens.
How to handle him: Don't ever mistake his "daddy" act for real friendship, or let your guard down around him. If he starts quoting Shakespeare or moralizing at you, just smile and nod until he stops. Don't confide in him about your personal shit, or he'll just bring it up when he's mad at you. He likes to nurture creativity, so go ahead and share your artsy projects with him, not to mention your bizarre schemes for getting out of whatever mess you've all gotten into this week.


200px-Gowron2367TNGReunion.jpgThe politician. On the surface, he's a big swaggering warlord... but it only takes a glance to realize he's really just a conniving weasel. He'll say anything to get ahead, and always manages to wind up in charge because he maneuvers all the smarter people into destroying each other while he remains unscathed. If you start doing too well or — worse yet — become too popular around the office, he orders you to do an impossible task and then blames you when you fail. Or he tries to maneuver you into self-destructing somehow, by giving you contradictory or unrealistic orders.
How to handle him: As always, Worf shows us the way. Challenge him to a duel, and then kill him. Or if you're not in a state where it's legal to kill your boss, then challenge him head-on, and destroy him. Whatever you do, don't try to be sneaky with him — that's playing his game.


180px-Sisko_baseball.jpgThe cold fish. He's always brooding and staring into his raktagino. When he does smile, it's usually a bitter smile at some irony he's spotted. Seldom praises your work, and when he does, there's often a bit of an edge to it. His main other mode besides glowering is screaming rage. But he does at least know how to laugh at himself... in a gloomy way.
How to handle him: Keep your distance. Learn how to read his little signals — like if he leaves his "special" baseball on his desk, that means he's planning on coming back after lunch. Or if he nods slightly, that means "Great job, keep it up!" Or maybe: "I'm firing you after lunch."


250px-Janeway_Season7.jpgThe blamer. She's always right — even when she changes her mind three times. She'll take a tough stand, but then change her tune if her cronies disagree. She lectures you about her principles, but they're all totally disposable. She's all like, "No, we are not going to make an alliance with the Denim," "There is no way we are possibly going to trade technology with the Gherkins," etc. etc. But when it comes down to it, she's all about expediency. And then after one of her little ethical shortcuts blows up in her face, it's always your fault, not hers. If you ever go around her, she puts on her hurty face and talks about how betrayed she feels. I've totally had this boss, too.
How to handle her: Don't ever crawl out on a limb to support her principled stances, or she'll leave you out there by yourself. She likes it when people challenge her — so go ahead and tell her she's wrong. She may end up agreeing with you. But don't ever count on her to stick to her big principles.


queen.jpgThe queen bee. She claims it's all about the group, and what's best for the "collective." It's not about her at all — in fact, just pretend she's not there. She's just there to speak for the group. And then she insists on being all showy — ooh, look at me lowering my head and spine into my slinky new body! She has to be the center of attention, even while she's pretending that she's one small part of a huge collective. She enjoys seducing you into her group, but once you join, you'll just be one of her bees. And if you ever get away, she'll keep bugging you and showing up when you're trying to chill in your regeneration alcove.
How to handle her: Take her at her word. Pretend you really do think she's just one small piece of a huge organization. That way, it shouldn't matter if you talk to one of her "drones" instead of her. It's all the same, right? It'll drive her crazy, and maybe she'll expose some weakness.

groupdecon.jpgThe hot-tub boss. Captain Archer is never mean — but then he expects you to strip down to your undies and get "decontaminated" with him every other Friday. He winks really big when he says it too: "Hey, you haven't been 'decontaminated' in a couple of weeks. I bet your rads are off the scale. Let's make a night of it. I'll bring the dog." Plus he's always inviting you for dinner in his quarters and talking about "Chef," which is probably like a pet name for a part of his body since you've never seen an actual chef around.
How to handle him: Get transferred as fast as possible.