Friday, January 9, 2015

Thursday

I thought this was amusing so I thought I would share.

So Thursday morning I woke up.
As I often do with it being morning and all
I donned my robe and asked the dog if he had to go out.
Of course he did. He is the size of a well fed rat with the bladder the size of a walnut so he fills up pretty quickly.
I walked into the kitchen and opened the door to the garage ready to take the 2 steps down to the wintery cold garage floor.

Now here is where I pause to explain that my sciatic nerve has been pinched off a bit so I have a numbness going down the right side of my leg and into the left side of my foot. Usually it just causes me just a bit daily discomfort but I do have to watch the ground when I walk because it takes just a very slight unevenness for me to roll my ankle.
Rolling your ankle is a bit beyond discomfort as it usually involves you slamming your ankle into the ground with the entire weight of your person behind it.
This, as you can imagine, is quite painful.

Anyway, so there I stood in the door way and took one step.
Just one.
My ankle rolled.
My momentum proceeded to then launch me, Peter Pan like, out of the house. So out of the house I went and over the two steps I flew.
However I did not have any pixie dust with me at that time and gravity, being the force that it is, decided I needed a big hug.
So down I plummeted.
…….I taste floor.
You would have thought I had been running as my momentum kept me going after hitting the ground and allowed me the privilege of sliding head first into my deep freeze.
And bouncing off of it.
because hey, I have already done this far why not a bit more.

So after having been awake a mere 3 minutes I was now in a crumbled heap on the floor of my garage.

“Good morning to you too Thursday” I moaned.

“Dude can you quit goofing off I still have to pee.” said the dog


Obviously I’m doing fine today.
Middle of my back is a bit raw feeling and I am sore.
I am also looking into investing in a life alert too.




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Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.