Words from your dad

• Smile and look people in the eye
• Walk with your head up and have good posture
• Say “please” and "thank you" a lot
• Live well beneath your means
• Study yourself and learn why you do what you do
• Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards
• Learn something new every day
• Treat everyone you meet as you want to be treated
• Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh as much as you can
• Do not worry about what others think of you. What you think of you is what is important
• Make new friends but cherish the old ones
• Keep secrets but know when not to. Don’t gossip
• Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference
• Use credit cards only for convenience, never for credit
• Never cheat. A man’s word is all he truly has
• Do not lie. It is easier to remember the truth then the story
• Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all he or she has
• Never take action when you're angry. Think before you act
• Never shop when your hungry
• Don't discuss business in elevators. You never know who may overhear you
• Never pay for work before it's completed
• Be a gracious loser and a humble winner
• Never expect life to be fair. It isn’t
• Never walk out on a quarrel with your wife
• Listen when your child talks to you.
• Regarding furniture and clothes: if you think you'll be using them five years or longer, buy the best you can afford. Remember, you get what you pay for
• Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things, you didn't do more than the ones you did
• When faced with a serious health problem, get at least three medical opinions
• Do not be afraid to ask for help. No one can do everything
• After encountering superior or inferior service, food or products, bring it to the attention of the person in charge. Good managers will appreciate knowing.
• Work smarter not harder but know when good old fashioned elbow grease is needed
• Don't be afraid to say "I don't know", "I'm sorry" or “I love you”
• Admit your mistakes and learn from them. Everyone makes them and you do not learn anything by always doing it right
• Never humiliate someone. This will make them your enemy for life
• Don’t live in regret. You cannot change the past, only the future
• Take lots of pictures. Sometimes the past can get hazy
• Be the kind of person your dog thinks you are. Never be afraid to be yourself
• Be proud of who you are. Be the best you that you can be
• Call your parents, they miss you

Apples

Sometimes when you think you’re buying an Apple you’re really just buying an apple*

Ok for those who don’t want to go and read, I shall sum this up for you.

Lady in Australia wants 2 Apple iPhones so she posts on their local “craigslist” site “hey I want 2 iphones”

She is contacted and told “yeah I can sell you 2 iPhones, it’ll cost you $1200.” 1.

She makes the transaction in a McDonalds parking lot and goes home.

Opening the boxes she discovers that each one contains an apple. 2.

Not an Apple iPhone but an actual apple.

Maybe it was a McIntosh

The cops just said “well isn’t that just too bad.”

I couldn’t do this. I would either be straining really hard not to grin from ear to ear or afterwards stopping her from leaving saying ”no, I can’t. I just can’t. You are too stupid to take advantage of.”

1. $1200 for 2 iphones!? That’s just a couple of bucks shy of retail.

2. I don’t even buy food at McDonalds without checking the bag! Why do you drop that amount of money without inspecting the product?

*thanks to Mental Floss for the link

Before I Die

Before I Die

• Write a Best-seller
• Win an Award, Trophy or Prize
• Catch a Fish With Your Bare Hands
• Make a Discovery
• Realize Your Childhood Dream
• Learn a Instrument
• Leave Your Mark in Graffiti
• Storm Chase a Tornado
• Meet Someone with your Own Name
• Stage Dive or Crowd Surf
• Own a Pointless Collection
• Go Up in a Hot Air Balloon
• Get Arrested
• See an Erupting Volcano
• Sky Dive
• Stay in the Best Suite in a Five Star Hotel
• Experience Weightlessness
• See the Aurora Borealis
• Design Your Own Cocktail
• Make Fire Without Matches
• Touch/see or ride These Animals of the Wild...
• Panda
• Rhino
• Hippo
• Grizzly Bear
• Elephant
• Hummingbird
• Giraffe
• Koala
• Manatee
• Gorilla
• Monkey
• Kangaroo
• Eagle
• Polar Bear
• Bat
• Get a Free Upgrade on a Plane
• Milk a Cow
• See Both Solar and Lunar Eclipses
• Learn Another Language
• Make at Least One Huge Purchase You Can't Afford
• Leave a Job You Hate
• Get Away with the Perfect Practical Joke or Hoax
• Make the Front Page of a Newspaper
• Drive a Car at Top Speed
• Shout 'Drinks Are on Me!' in a Pub or Bar
• Be Part of a Flash Mob
• Visit...
• Colosseum, Rome, Italy
• Machu Picchu, Peru
• The Pyramids at Giza, Egypt
• Sydney Harbour, Australia
• Great Barrier Reef, Australia
• Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco
• The Alamo
• Washington DC
• The Great Wall of China
  Swim With...
  • Sharks
  • Whales
  • Dolphins
• Save Someone's Life
• Invent a Word That Makes it into the Dictionary
• Have Adventurous Sex
• Have Enough Money to Do All the Things on This List
• Stand on the International Date Line
• Get a Tattoo and/or a Piercing
• Invent Something
• Learn Astronomy and Read the Night Sky
• Drink a Vintage Wine
• Answer a Personal Ad
• Get Barred From a Pub or Bar
• Skinny Dip at Midnight
• Sell Your Junk on eBay and Make a Profit
• Run a Marathon
• Conquer Your Fear
• Own an Original Work of Art
• Get Something Named After You
• Get Revenge
• Be an Extra in a Film
• Go on a Demonstration
• Continue Your Gene Pool
  

Before I´m Old And Boring

Before I´m Old And Boring

• Send a Message in a Bottle
• Run up an Escalator the Wrong Way
• Make an Origami Crane
• Learn How to Tell When Someone Fancies You (and When They Don't)
• Keep a Dream Diary
• Touch These Creatures
• Mice and rats
• Camel
• Elephant
• Tortoise
• Giraffe
• Butterflies and moths
• Worms
• Birds
• Spiders
• Snake
• Frog
• Fish
• Some sort of bug
• Learn to Play an Instrument
• Play a Computer Game to the End
• Have an Embarrassing Moment and Get Over It
• Learn to Whistle (and Make Other Noises)
• See a Ghost
• Fart and Burp
• Make a Swear Jar
• Act in a Play
• Win Something
• Make a T-shirt
• Stay Up All Night
• Sleep All Day
• Invent a Secret Code
• Learn to Do a Card Trick
• Grow Something from a Seed
• Start a Collection
• Learn to Do a Party Trick
• Climb to the Top of a Mountain
• Make a One-Minute Movie
• Teach a class
• Host a Party
• Visit...
• A safari park
• A carnival
• A castle
• A theme park
• A farm
• An aquarium
• The countryside
• Another country
• My capital city
• Learn to Bake a Cake
• Hide Treasure and Leave a Map for Friends to Find
• Start Your Own Blog
• Write a poem
• Make a Time Capsule
• Be a Genius
• Take Care of an Animal
• Learn to Like These Foods
• Broccoli
• Shellfish
• Lettuce
• Brussels sprouts
• Carrots
• Smelly cheese
• Coconut
• Peas
• April Fool Someone
• Do Something Charitable
• Invent a New Game
• Go As Fast As You Can
• Pretend to Be Ill Convincingly
• Save Your Pocket Money for a Month and Spend It All at Once
• Succeed At Something You're Bad At
• Be a Daredevil
• Know Who Your Friends Are
• Camp Out in the Back Yard
• Learn to Live without Something You Love for a Week
• TV
• Mobile Phone
• Junk Food
• the Internet
• Join a Club
• Cook a Meal
• Make Your Bike or Skateboard Look Cool
• Learn to Juggle
• Have a Snowball Fight and Fun in the Snow
• Take Part in a TV Show
• Make a Scene in a Public Place
• Do Something Nice without Being Asked
• Have a Sleepover
• Learn to Say Useful Phrases in Other Languages
• Make Your Own Greetings Cards
• Hold a garage sale
• Start Your Own Secret Society
• Research Your Family Tree
• Learn to Skim Stones
• Dye Your Hair
• Write a Story and Get It Published
• Sing in Front of an Audience
• Learn to Use Long Words (and Drop Them into Conversation)
• Take the Blame for Someone Else
• Learn to Stick Up for Yourself
• Get from A to B Using a Map
• Send a Valentines Card
• Have Your Own Plot in the Garden
• Build Your Own Website
• See Your Name in Print
• Glue Coins to the Floor
• Learn to Take Great Photos
• Drive Something
• Be Vegetarian for a Week
• Meet Someone Famous