dad

I lost my dad on 9/18 of 2003
 It has been a full decade now since my very first best friend left and I do miss him so much.
He was a quiet and yes, even a shy man who had a brain that was outstanding. He was Macguyver before there was a Macguyver.
 If there was something he wanted to do or to know he taught himself.
 Everything from Computers to day trading to creating and building a furnace out of old water heaters.

 For instance: This man once read an article on hydroponic planting once.
That’s all. It was just an article in a magazine that said “Hey there is a way to plant stuff without dirt.” It interested him so he built his own.
 There wasn’t a schematic and there wasn’t a formula. There was just this idea.
 He then proceeded to build his own hydroponic system out of some PVC tubes and an old sump pump. And it worked beautifully. We had tomatoes, cucumbers and various other plants growing out of that beast for the longest time. And that is just a small, tiny example.
 This man never met a single mechanical problem that he couldn’t either fix or find his way around.

   When we first moved to Kansas he was starting a new position where he didn’t know anyone. I found out later from my mother that every morning for 2 weeks he would get up at 4am and puke his guts out. Why? Because he was shy and this, moving to a new place, new job and knowing exactly 0 people in the entire state (outside of his immediate family, with us it brought the tally up to a whopping 3) This was a very hard step for him to take. Shoot this would be a hard step for ANYONE to take. But he did it to take care of his family.
    The job was there and the money was there and so we moved from California to Kansas. Of course I didn’t know this at the time I was to busy being a kid wrapped up in my own preteen/teen world. But he still taught so much. He taught me that sometimes no matter how much something sucks to you; you still have to do it. Not for you but for them. It taught me that being brave doesn’t mean not being scared, it means being scared and doing it anyway.
I miss you dad.
 

Black Friday

How do I hate thee?
Let me count the ways.
    Thanksgiving is by and large a 4 days holiday for a lot of people, because there are a lot of people off on the day after thanksgiving stores started having big Christmas sales on that day to entice people to come shop with them. Because people would come shop with them they started having competition as other stores jumped on the bandwagon Then it just kept escalating until it was a national event BLACK FRIDAY
     Now every year a bunch of idiots bundle up and go stand in-line for really cheap prices of crap they don’t need.

Only those of us who have worked retail know what a horrible day this day is.

    When I worked retail I had to go to bed really early on thanksgiving just so I could get up to be at the store at 4 in the morning for the doors to open at 6. You can tell it’s been a while since stores nowadays open at midnight or stay open 24 hours or even now open on Thanksgiving.
Is it just me or are the sales just not as awesome as they once were either.
 Which I think that this is just because the Black Friday thing isn’t so odd anymore, so the sales are not as drastic. It’s become really mainstream.
   My 2nd year out of retail I decided to go shopping the day after Christmas and see what the big deal is. Wow. Will never do that again. People are rude and morals are left at the door just to get an extra 50 bucks off a TV. Humanity is sold at the price of the newest gizmo and widget. Sadly none of this will ever change. We will never get together as a people and boycott Black Friday because we can never get together as a people. Someone will always ruin it for the others.

I say damn the brick and mortar stores.
 Wait a week order it online and in the meantime eat more pie. But that’s just me

Imagine this Part IV

Flat on your back and drenched to the bone, you slowly come to.

You know you have just been hit by lightning as you ache all over and your teeth itch.

The overall stench of a wet and burnt dog is also a dead giveaway.

Not sure where your friend is to have missed the show but you slowly start collecting up all the dropped comic books. I would guess you are in a bit of shock to be doing this instead of calling an ambulance or something.

As you are picking up the mess you start noticing something.

All the book pages are blank.

There is a ending to this story/idea
Let me know if you want to hear it

Imagine this Part III

Remember our chunk of planet?

Well it has entered into our solar system and finally made its way to the gravitational pull of the 3^rd planet from the sun.

It’s a lovely shade of green and black with swirls and glittering of other colors that we do not even have names for.

It’s about the size of a softball as it screams through the rain streaked sky.

Suddenly the rainclouds produce a huge bolt of lightning and the bolt passes straight through our meteor reducing it to ashes and dust.

However it doesn’t even slow down the lightning.

 

Imagine this Part II

There you are and it’s you.

You know it’s you because you know you and that look exactly like you.

It’s a rainy gloomy day and you are helping a friend move.

As you leave your friends house with your arms laden with 2 boxes of his prized comic book collection (you really shouldn’t carry so much like that its bad for your back)

As you leave your friends house and cross the yard you misstep and down you go HARD

As you fall your vision is blurred by a brilliant flash and then immense pain.

Then darkness.

Imagine this Part I

  Millions of years ago there is a planet very far away.

It’s an earthlike planet that is orbiting a gigantic silver sun.

One horrible day there is a solar flare and the planet explodes.

*KABOOM*

Fragments of planet are blown about their galaxy and boy they are really moving fast.

Watch as one particular red hued chunk cruises through the blackness of space defiantly with an escape velocity and trajectory.

Tumbling and rolling as it streaks through the stars.

It passes through a comets tale which turns the rock a greenish hue, and on it goes

A meteor collides with it and fuses into its mass turning it a goldish glowy color, and on it goes

It passes close to a planet with 2 suns made of water and caught in their gravity well it zips off into another direction, and on it goes.

Time passes.

It travels on.

The planetoid changes shape size and color many times as the ages toss it about at will.

Tech

WoW! This is just… Wow!

I know it is not much now but it has such far reaching implications.

Harvard’s Medical School has created a prototype of what researchers are calling a  “noninvasive brain-to-brain interface” between humans and rats, which allows a person  to control a rat’s tail using only their thoughts .

View article...

Using the human brain to influence/control another brain.

That’s pure science fiction right there.

I am excited about this because it means we are learning more and more about this slab of meat between our ears and how it works.

Which it is about time, I mean, its been there for a while now we ought to know more about it.

The relationship we have right now with what we know about the human mind is akin to having a distant relative move in with you and never even learning much more past their name.

Also

Scientists can clone entire beings

Scientists can create meat

Scientists can grow body parts

And now we are well on our way toward neural to neural control.

50 years from now, ok maybe a hundred, entire armies of perfect soldiers controlled by 1 mind.

Or, even better, Have you seen the movie Surrogates?

Where you can buy/create the perfect you and just connect to it via mental wi-fi and have it live your life like an avatar?

Yeah, I’m not against that at all.

Words from your dad

• Smile and look people in the eye
• Walk with your head up and have good posture
• Say “please” and "thank you" a lot
• Live well beneath your means
• Study yourself and learn why you do what you do
• Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards
• Learn something new every day
• Treat everyone you meet as you want to be treated
• Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh as much as you can
• Do not worry about what others think of you. What you think of you is what is important
• Make new friends but cherish the old ones
• Keep secrets but know when not to. Don’t gossip
• Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference
• Use credit cards only for convenience, never for credit
• Never cheat. A man’s word is all he truly has
• Do not lie. It is easier to remember the truth then the story
• Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all he or she has
• Never take action when you're angry. Think before you act
• Never shop when your hungry
• Don't discuss business in elevators. You never know who may overhear you
• Never pay for work before it's completed
• Be a gracious loser and a humble winner
• Never expect life to be fair. It isn’t
• Never walk out on a quarrel with your wife
• Listen when your child talks to you.
• Regarding furniture and clothes: if you think you'll be using them five years or longer, buy the best you can afford. Remember, you get what you pay for
• Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things, you didn't do more than the ones you did
• When faced with a serious health problem, get at least three medical opinions
• Do not be afraid to ask for help. No one can do everything
• After encountering superior or inferior service, food or products, bring it to the attention of the person in charge. Good managers will appreciate knowing.
• Work smarter not harder but know when good old fashioned elbow grease is needed
• Don't be afraid to say "I don't know", "I'm sorry" or “I love you”
• Admit your mistakes and learn from them. Everyone makes them and you do not learn anything by always doing it right
• Never humiliate someone. This will make them your enemy for life
• Don’t live in regret. You cannot change the past, only the future
• Take lots of pictures. Sometimes the past can get hazy
• Be the kind of person your dog thinks you are. Never be afraid to be yourself
• Be proud of who you are. Be the best you that you can be
• Call your parents, they miss you

Apples

Sometimes when you think you’re buying an Apple you’re really just buying an apple*

Ok for those who don’t want to go and read, I shall sum this up for you.

Lady in Australia wants 2 Apple iPhones so she posts on their local “craigslist” site “hey I want 2 iphones”

She is contacted and told “yeah I can sell you 2 iPhones, it’ll cost you $1200.” 1.

She makes the transaction in a McDonalds parking lot and goes home.

Opening the boxes she discovers that each one contains an apple. 2.

Not an Apple iPhone but an actual apple.

Maybe it was a McIntosh

The cops just said “well isn’t that just too bad.”

I couldn’t do this. I would either be straining really hard not to grin from ear to ear or afterwards stopping her from leaving saying ”no, I can’t. I just can’t. You are too stupid to take advantage of.”

1. $1200 for 2 iphones!? That’s just a couple of bucks shy of retail.

2. I don’t even buy food at McDonalds without checking the bag! Why do you drop that amount of money without inspecting the product?

*thanks to Mental Floss for the link

Before I Die

Before I Die

• Write a Best-seller
• Win an Award, Trophy or Prize
• Catch a Fish With Your Bare Hands
• Make a Discovery
• Realize Your Childhood Dream
• Learn a Instrument
• Leave Your Mark in Graffiti
• Storm Chase a Tornado
• Meet Someone with your Own Name
• Stage Dive or Crowd Surf
• Own a Pointless Collection
• Go Up in a Hot Air Balloon
• Get Arrested
• See an Erupting Volcano
• Sky Dive
• Stay in the Best Suite in a Five Star Hotel
• Experience Weightlessness
• See the Aurora Borealis
• Design Your Own Cocktail
• Make Fire Without Matches
• Touch/see or ride These Animals of the Wild...
• Panda
• Rhino
• Hippo
• Grizzly Bear
• Elephant
• Hummingbird
• Giraffe
• Koala
• Manatee
• Gorilla
• Monkey
• Kangaroo
• Eagle
• Polar Bear
• Bat
• Get a Free Upgrade on a Plane
• Milk a Cow
• See Both Solar and Lunar Eclipses
• Learn Another Language
• Make at Least One Huge Purchase You Can't Afford
• Leave a Job You Hate
• Get Away with the Perfect Practical Joke or Hoax
• Make the Front Page of a Newspaper
• Drive a Car at Top Speed
• Shout 'Drinks Are on Me!' in a Pub or Bar
• Be Part of a Flash Mob
• Visit...
• Colosseum, Rome, Italy
• Machu Picchu, Peru
• The Pyramids at Giza, Egypt
• Sydney Harbour, Australia
• Great Barrier Reef, Australia
• Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco
• The Alamo
• Washington DC
• The Great Wall of China
  Swim With...
  • Sharks
  • Whales
  • Dolphins
• Save Someone's Life
• Invent a Word That Makes it into the Dictionary
• Have Adventurous Sex
• Have Enough Money to Do All the Things on This List
• Stand on the International Date Line
• Get a Tattoo and/or a Piercing
• Invent Something
• Learn Astronomy and Read the Night Sky
• Drink a Vintage Wine
• Answer a Personal Ad
• Get Barred From a Pub or Bar
• Skinny Dip at Midnight
• Sell Your Junk on eBay and Make a Profit
• Run a Marathon
• Conquer Your Fear
• Own an Original Work of Art
• Get Something Named After You
• Get Revenge
• Be an Extra in a Film
• Go on a Demonstration
• Continue Your Gene Pool
  

Before I´m Old And Boring

Before I´m Old And Boring

• Send a Message in a Bottle
• Run up an Escalator the Wrong Way
• Make an Origami Crane
• Learn How to Tell When Someone Fancies You (and When They Don't)
• Keep a Dream Diary
• Touch These Creatures
• Mice and rats
• Camel
• Elephant
• Tortoise
• Giraffe
• Butterflies and moths
• Worms
• Birds
• Spiders
• Snake
• Frog
• Fish
• Some sort of bug
• Learn to Play an Instrument
• Play a Computer Game to the End
• Have an Embarrassing Moment and Get Over It
• Learn to Whistle (and Make Other Noises)
• See a Ghost
• Fart and Burp
• Make a Swear Jar
• Act in a Play
• Win Something
• Make a T-shirt
• Stay Up All Night
• Sleep All Day
• Invent a Secret Code
• Learn to Do a Card Trick
• Grow Something from a Seed
• Start a Collection
• Learn to Do a Party Trick
• Climb to the Top of a Mountain
• Make a One-Minute Movie
• Teach a class
• Host a Party
• Visit...
• A safari park
• A carnival
• A castle
• A theme park
• A farm
• An aquarium
• The countryside
• Another country
• My capital city
• Learn to Bake a Cake
• Hide Treasure and Leave a Map for Friends to Find
• Start Your Own Blog
• Write a poem
• Make a Time Capsule
• Be a Genius
• Take Care of an Animal
• Learn to Like These Foods
• Broccoli
• Shellfish
• Lettuce
• Brussels sprouts
• Carrots
• Smelly cheese
• Coconut
• Peas
• April Fool Someone
• Do Something Charitable
• Invent a New Game
• Go As Fast As You Can
• Pretend to Be Ill Convincingly
• Save Your Pocket Money for a Month and Spend It All at Once
• Succeed At Something You're Bad At
• Be a Daredevil
• Know Who Your Friends Are
• Camp Out in the Back Yard
• Learn to Live without Something You Love for a Week
• TV
• Mobile Phone
• Junk Food
• the Internet
• Join a Club
• Cook a Meal
• Make Your Bike or Skateboard Look Cool
• Learn to Juggle
• Have a Snowball Fight and Fun in the Snow
• Take Part in a TV Show
• Make a Scene in a Public Place
• Do Something Nice without Being Asked
• Have a Sleepover
• Learn to Say Useful Phrases in Other Languages
• Make Your Own Greetings Cards
• Hold a garage sale
• Start Your Own Secret Society
• Research Your Family Tree
• Learn to Skim Stones
• Dye Your Hair
• Write a Story and Get It Published
• Sing in Front of an Audience
• Learn to Use Long Words (and Drop Them into Conversation)
• Take the Blame for Someone Else
• Learn to Stick Up for Yourself
• Get from A to B Using a Map
• Send a Valentines Card
• Have Your Own Plot in the Garden
• Build Your Own Website
• See Your Name in Print
• Glue Coins to the Floor
• Learn to Take Great Photos
• Drive Something
• Be Vegetarian for a Week
• Meet Someone Famous

Grandma

Earlier this year my 90+ grandmother finally expired.

It was odd…I have known this woman for my entire life and I felt nothing for her crossing.

Oh I felt bad for one of my surviving uncles but that was all.

See this lady was one of the most selfish, self centered, manipulating woman I ever met.

We did not get along and I did not like her very much. I felt sorry for her

When my father was growing up they ate fried baloney for supper (which aint half bad) just one slice each and maybe some potatoes and she bought herself fur coats.

When my dad went into the service he had a sweet ford mustang that he had restored himself. It purred for him (which is odd for a horse I guess). He had instructed his younger brother to go out and just start it once a week and he could drive it occasionally to keep everything all lubricated and running.

He came back from his tour he found a seized rusted engine waiting for him. He then found out that his mother had insisted that his brother not touch the car for no reason whatsoever.

Why?

Just because she could.

See she never really liked my dad very much. He was one for 4 boys and he was the only one of the 4 that would stand up to his mother. Not in the hoodlum, leather jacket “rebel without a clue” kind of way but in the “why?” kind of way.

“We need to go left” – “why?”

“We need to hurry.” – “Why?”

“Do not do that. “ – “why”

He always questioned her judgment and when he found flaw with it he used his own and she did not like that.

You get the idea.

ANYWAY

I guess she had bought her first husband, my dads dad, a shotgun at one point.

My dad and his dad would go out hunting frequently before his passing. After his dad died the gun sat in a closet collecting dust.

At one point my dad retrieved the shotgun.

He did not do it secretly, he let everyone know what he was doing and why.

Since no one else was a hunter in the family, no one protested.

FLASH-FORWARD 40+ YEARS

My dad has passed away and I now have the shotgun. I wanted it as a reminder of him. I’m not much of a hunter but it is pretty and it was his and well, it reminds me of him.

Then this lady starts hounding first my mother, then me to return to her this shotgun.

Paraphrased conversation:

“You live in a rest home and you are blind and arthritic and do not hunt. This shotgun was my father’s while I was growing up. For my entire life I have only known this as my dad’s shotgun. Why, after all this time, are you demanding I give you my dad’s shotgun?”

Verbatim response:

“I want to keep it in the family.”

That hurt me enough that I never spoke to her again. I am my father’s son. Her son’s direct blood relation and yet that’s not family enough for her.

She went as far to inform my sister that I was out of her will because I refused to give her this shotgun.

I am ok with that. 