Sunday, April 8, 2018

Thats some shit

FECAL ALERT

The human body is pretty cool.
You have the same receptors in your gut that you do in your brain. To the point that you, in fact, have a second brain.
"As researchers turn their microscopes to these hidden environments, they have discovered something remarkable: There's an entire ecosystem of bacteria and a vast neural network operating in our guts. This ecosystem is our second brain, and comprises some 100 million neurons, more than the spinal cord. This is not a thinking brain-it does not reason, write poetry, or solve multi-linear regressions-but mounting evidence suggests that your gut's health influences your mood."
 
 Ok so you have pain receptors in your brain but also in your gut
When you take pain medication (as I do) it indiscriminately shuts them all off both brain and stomach.
Well since everyone is asleep down there what this does then is cause chronic constipation.
You get too full and it hurts. Hurts like you have organs bursting and a spear sticking out of your side.

Thursday and Friday I was fine, just a 1 on the pain scale. No big deal. I was able to actually do stuff.
Saturday morning still doing great. I cleaned a room in the basement so my son could move down there.
Saturday afternoon though the pain jumped to a 3 and started rising
Sunday morning it was a solid 5 and I was bent over double at my desk
and grew
By the end of the work day on Monday, I was at an 8 almost a 9 on the pain scale.

  I was sitting in my car to go home sweating and shaking from the pain and I still had two errands to run. At each errand, I waited for a break in pain waves and then ran in, got what I needed while talking stilted and awkward and through my gritted teeth and ran back out.
Tuesday I didn't even go to work. It didn't hurt as bad as on Monday but I was exhausted from holding it all together.
Wednesday I went to work feeling fine and went by the doctors that afternoon. He had me lay down and thumped my midsection and my left side sounded like a watermelon.
An X-ray was taken and he confirmed that I was indeed full of shit. All the way up. My wife could have told him that.
He prescribed me this new medication they have developed just for this issue.
What this pill does is it goes to the receptors in your gut and turns them back on.

 Therefore, with some hope on the horizon I went home with my 3 weeks of samples and popped one in for the day.
And waited.
I figured that since it was a gradual issue with the pain medication, where the gut receptors had slowly started shutting off as time went by, that this pill would slowly turn them back on over time.

I was wrong.

This pill should be named revelry.

I took the pill about 4pm and went to watch "The Office"
It must have flew down to the stomach breaking apart little escape shuttles as it went and they all started flipping toggle switches on immediately.

By 5 I was gurgling
By 5:30 I was bloating and starting to hurt
By  6 I was back to sitting on the couch with my butt clenched unable to trust a single fart.

I.... I filled the bowl.
Twice.

So here we are on day two. I know this is just the beginning but so far I don't like this pill.
Oh it seems to be doing its job and doing it well
I took the pill this morning and by 10 I was in the work restroom.
It sounded like a garden hose spraying into the bowl.
I am debating on buying Depends.

So what does all of this mean for you? If you take strong pain medication regularly, watch out for the slowing of your bowels.
If you are experiencing this then there is a solution for you to try.

Today I am at a 1 maybe a 2 at the most.