Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Being Dad


If you have been following along in your manuals you will know that my main goal in this life is to be a good dad. I think that my dad was really awesome. He was a bit distant in places but hey, there is no instruction manual.
So my son, the beast is 11 years old going on 12
I caught him on his laptop going around to "those sites"
You know the ones I mean.
He's getting to that age and it was only a matter of time.
I was kinda hoping for a bit later then this like 13 or 14 but it had to happen sooner or later.
We have both been rather cool about this I think.
I didn't freak out and hulk-smash his laptop into the nearest wall
and he has been honest with me when he has been going to those sites.
I told him not to go to these sites because A. these were for grown-ups and 2. They put bad virus stuff on your computer which make it crash. I also told him if there were any questions they had about what they were doing all he had to do was ask and daddy would talk to him about it.
He has listened for the most part but who can resist the siren call of the hormones and readily available naked women (He likes blondes. I am a brunette man myself and I go bizonkers over a Latin or Italian lovely.)
I don't want to be the "cool dad" who says aw go ahead no harm here.
But I also don't want him growing up in a sexual vacuum like I did.
I remember once when I was 15 I was watching scrambled HBO in my room with a burlesque show called "Minskeys Follies". It was just topless women dancing with all the feathers and such. Rather tame actually.
My mom freaked out.
Sploosh! she had puppies right then and there.
A grand argument then happened as we both ran to my dad.
Mom went to "tell" so I could be punished.
She wasn't being mean or anything it was just taboo in our house.
I went for damage control.
I must admit that my defense was inspired for the .02 seconds I had to come up with it.
I claimed that her coming in when she did was akin to someone taking a picture and catching someone with their eyes closed. I just happened to be surfing the channels (we still had knobs back then) and paused there and she just happen to come in on that pause.
My dad was smirking the whole time and felt the whole thing was rather foolish.
My dad was cool that way.
Anyway so here is my Beast digging into the best (worst?) animated porn that the net can offer for free. He is most interested in the sites that have like Fred and Wilma getting it on or the justice league gang banging wonder woman and stuff like that.
I must admit I like those sites too.
However since he cannot stop himself, I have to go out and get one of those nanny blocker programs and lock down his PC.
Not something I really wanted to spend my money on but if I don't his mom is going to freak.
Sploosh! Have puppies right then and there.

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Thrill me...dripsome brain droppings here.